Using the Judicial System to Stalk their ex partners

This  will go into how some  abusers use a different approach to harass their victims. A way that  allows them to legally have contact and harass their ex-partner, even  with a Restraining Order in force.

Mis-using the judicial system  seems to be one of some abusers favorite ways to stalk their  ex-partners. If they can’t get you back, they will try to ruin your  happiness, by dragging you to Court on countless frivolous filings.  Putting the victim in a situation where they are being victimized –  again, by their abuser and sometimes by the system also.

This can  be on going for years, if gone about it in the “right” way. There are  actually web sites devoted to teaching them exactly how and what to do.  These sites teach them how to legally stalk, harass, and intimidate  victims of Domestic Violence after a Restraining Order has been issued.  These sites actually have step by step guides for them to use to learn  how to keep the on going harassment, manipulation, intimidation and show  how to legally stalk the partner, who has left them. Which in turn  keeps the ex-partner their victim causing them immense grief, a  financial burden and it wears them out emotionally to the point of total  frustration.

It also gives these stalkers/abusers a feeling they  still have some control and in a sense, they do. Some of the more  advanced, of these abusers, will even represent themselves in Court or have attorney friends go with them,  rather than hire a Real Lawyer. This Pro Se Defense gives them the  opportunity to question their former partner on the stand and legally  badger and intimidate them, all the while the judge and others are right  there watching and letting it happen. This in itself  boosts the  abusers self-esteem, thinking they are even controlling the judge and  playing the legal system.

Most all of these “Pro Se” abusers have  studied the laws, inside and out. They will put a lot of time and effort  into these actions. Many will file in different jurisdictions, to avoid  becoming too well known to the judges and to keep their victim running  around. They will mask their reasoning and make it look as if they are  the victims and their rights have been violated.

There are many  large and well-known groups, who use and teach these tactics. Most of  which will have a cover that seems real and legitimate. Many of them use  children’s rights as their cover. They put a lot of money and energy  into minimizing domestic violence and it’s effects on the children who  lived in a home where abuse occurred. They will give very little support  to issues that will actually help children.

These groups true  agenda is abolishing abuse prevention legislation and child support  laws. They try regaining some control and punishing their partner for  leaving them, and they try to do this by controlling the children, by  gaining full custody, with visitation or by not paying child support.

What has not been corrected by  legislature is letting abusers use the judicial system as a weapon  against their former victims, especially after a Restraining Order has  been issued.Most  States have trained their police to recognize abuse and enforce  Restraining Orders, funded child protective services, made abuse  prevention statues, opened women’s shelters and educated personnel of  the dangers of domestic violence. This gives the abuser several legal contacts with their  victim, where they can legally harass and badger them with no fear of  violating the Restraining Order. If this same abuser/stalker does Pro Se  defense, they may even get away with other stalking of their victim,  like watching or following them, photographing them, going through their  trash, ect. All with the cover of “investigating” their case.

These  victims have left their abusers for a reason. They are in fear of them,  yet the abuser has found a way to put them in a position, they can not  walk away from. They must sit through court proceedings and on going  harassment, where they are made to endure their abusers subtle looks and  movements, which they know so well and fear.

They will try to  make them lose their composure and they will attack their credibility,  making this person victimized for the second time but even worst, the  abuser puts them on trial in the eyes of the community and the  courtroom. They have used a lot of will, to get away from their abusers  and usually don’t have the emotional strength to go for hours or even  days being questioned on the stand, by their abusers.

The use of  courts is most widely know in custody cases, all to many times not with  the child’s best interest at heart, but to try to exploit weakness in  their ex-partner, to regain control or at the least to manipulate and  hurt them as a punishment for leaving. They may try to prove them an  unfit parent, digging up or fabricating any type of evidence they can.

A  spouse who abuses their partner and parent of their children are twice  as likely to try to gain full custody of the children, whether they  truly want custody or not. They will often try to mis-use the legal  system, through retaliatory legal actions to continue their abuse and  harassment. These actions make the victims have to prove themselves to  the court, keeping them in the victim role.

While their rights are  violated, for the second time around, the abusers/stalkers rights are  protected. Is that justice? At the least, victims of domestic violence  should have the same Constitutional protections as their abusers, even  while they are being stalked and harassed by them with the judicial  system.

If our founding fathers that wrote our Constitution and  the Bill of Rights (for all people) were inside these courtrooms, I  believe they would be horrified at the way our basic human rights are  being violated. The laws of our Country are being twisted and used in  ways many can not even comprehend.

Victims of terrible crimes are  being belittled and torn apart by defense attorneys and Pro Se  cross-examinations, on the witness stands on a daily basis. Litigation  of a abuser/stalker is different because they know the victim, knows  their family, their past, what sets them off, what will hurt them most  and especially what frightens them, this brings the adversarial system  to new low. These litigations twist our Constitution till it is almost  unrecognizable and at the expense of our entire society, protects the  rights of the abuser/stalker.It is  slowly being recognized as a major problem and there are programs  working on ways to end this, in the future.