The Evil I Experienced

The intense jealousy over ANYone of the opposite sex.

Telling me how guy friends only talked to me because they wanted to have sex with me, telling me even though I was SOOO STINKING LOYAL and In love with him, that I had too many men. (he was married)

He paid my children for the passwords to my emails so he could spy on me, he hacked my and my kid’s email to erase all traces of our relationship.

He subjected me to the silent treatment at times for weeks until I did what he said. He told me that he’d resume talking to me when I removed the “evil” from my facebook. He was talking about the fact that I was friends with another victim of his on facebook; a former co-worker.

When I was late once from getting him a Christmas gift, he accused me of being out “cheating on him”.

He filed an injunction of harrassment  stating that I threatened to drown his children & that I was a stalker who he “never had a relationship with” (SMEAR CAMPAIGN)

He threatened to have me fired from jobs and created a website about me

There’s SOOOOO MUCH MORE he did to me its unfathomable.

I want to FORGIVE him for all of it.

Im out now, FREE; A FREE woman, which is all I ever wanted if I wasn’t going to be loved in a healthy manner.

I want to let go of these awful, traumatic experiences. Im out now. I dont have to go through the rigamarole. Im in a safe place. I feel healthier, happier, more stable and downright fulfilled in all areas of my life than I’ve ever felt. I wouldn’t trade this for ANYTHING.

Dear God, take this resentment from me and allow me to forgive _________’s  trespasses.

Im humbled,

  1. It’s amazing how I just came home, walked into My house prepared to read this article & I FEEL THE AXACT SAME WAY!!! Congratulations on your ridding yourself of (what sounds like!) a horrible experience for which only the word
    “Unfathonable” could describe!!!
    It sounds like almost the exact same guy except the NP I was involved with was (??? You never know…?!) divorced. The silent treatments seemed to last longer & the happy loving guy i once knew became only a memory! When he felt me slipping away, I’d get a glimpse of the wonderful charmer I fell in love wirh only to change like night & day!!! The tornent & bewilderment he put me through (making me think he was in dire need of a wonderful person such as me) Is too cruel & unbelievable!!! The similarities of these vampires is as if someone wrote a script for them!? Confabulated tales of overnight success & lies after lies…!?!
    I too was taken to court stating that I did horrific physical harm upon him for which I won –the case was dismissed in my favor! Leaving the courtroom, he looked like a zombie attached to his mother’s side obeying her orders as witnesses watched with mouths opened wide in amazement Making comments of disbelief!
    It is unthinkable how a mother could do such atrocities to her own offspring , maintains a vicious smirk on monster/mom’s face as if undetectable!?
    I took a positive away from all the chaos & drama of insanity away with me that I have never been more grateful to be ME!!!


  2. I am happy to read that you are a happier person now that you aren’t living in the nightmarish trauma any longer! Each time I began feeling better, it seemed as if my EX-NP sensed it & he break the silent treatment (I too received!), which is hoo ribble being ignored!!! I am sorry for the horrible ‘smear campaign’as im goin through the same humilating degradation from my final attempt to ‘help’ him!? After 3 weeks of ‘silent treatment’ , I got a text that my NP wanted me over & I imagined horrifying scenarios which he revealed glimpses of so I went. The nightmare (this is the 2nd (& last!) escalating from 2 months ago! His Monster-mom burst in his house (no boundaries as usual), looking mad, demanding & upset (morbidly jealous of him not being completely isolated hence Stockholme Syndrome)!!! I was nice & attemped pleasant interactions but before long, the monster took what turned out to be a electric shock taser device !!! The sound & sight of electricity -thankfully-msde me defend my boundaries of high alert & ultimately, I pushed ‘IT’ down. My ex-NP did nothing to help me -of course! Mo afrr-mom calld police & I was treated like the perpetrator!? Neighbors heard & were extremely angered at the evil hate & intent of my harm. Police unbelievably were catering to her as usual & it shocked & bewildered me questioning my own feelings!? Of course the monster lied, but I had pictures, videos (I don’t know how I managed to think quick under those circumstances?) but the police-about 6 of them did nothing empathetic towards me -not even allowing a neighbor/friend come to me!? I even showed the officer the text fr NP asking me to come…monster lied bout that too!
    I called the police department who told me to leave my ex-NP alone or HE will file harassment charges against ME!? I feel as though I’m in the twilight zone ! DVe 1 of his neighbors who became my friends called asking if I was OK! Validation is extremely important I’ve learned !!! I can’t comprehend the connection of the police department to this insane dynamic of people called ‘family’ but I now, finally, know the importance of total No Comtact!!! With knowledge I have gained through research & support of others, I too feel empowered & will live much happier as I’m happy that you are!!!


  3. I was in a relationship with a narc and I was the perfect victim from every aspect! As I started figuring him out he was trying to break things up with me in the most hurtful way but at the same time he wouldn’t leave. I was not good enough for him in one hand but could not let go on the other! His excuse staying with me was because he felt sorry for me!
    At the slightest suspicion of me walking away he would turn things upside down to be the first one to end the relationship. At the very last phase of the devalue process he staged the break up scene but at the same time he couldn’t stand the fact that I was leaving him! He went manic.
    He tried several ways to reverse the split the weeks that followed and he demanded to stay in my life as a friend expecting me to report to him daily if not hourly!
    I went no contact. He did several weird things to get a reaction the months that followed but got nothing in return.
    Now he is dating my friend of 20 years who never had respect for! She was considered an underachiever, cold, boring, unsuccessful and too old for him! Would a narcissist go that far for revenge? He knows being betrayed by her was the thing that hurt me the most in this story.


  4. Wow is all I can say everything said on here is exactly what I went through and not knowing what’s wrong with me except I continue to hurt more everyday for no reason it’s unbelievble to read and put into words that I could never come up with what I went through it’s like reading all about my life the last 7 years my question is how healthy can it b to go into a REALTIONSHIP a few months after will I seek out this kind of thing or will I want the opposite and will it or could it actually work


  5. When it comes to forgiving a Narcissist, do it for yourself, but don’t bother telling them because they don’t give a fuck. First of all, they’ll say it was all your fault, and second, they will say why do you are to think they need forgiveness when it’s been established it was all your fault?
    These are not normal people.
    They are self programming robots who learn to be charming and considered good people by mimicking the words and sometimes even the actions of admirable people.
    The N is a keen observer. Not only do they take their social behavioral cues from people who seem normal and popular, they also watch for codependents, the more codependent the better because they are gullible and seek love so desperately. A good victim never questions them.
    That’s why they go berserk if you confront or accuse them of anything, because they haven’t observed anyone they consider “normal” react to confrontation. They have no idea what words to say to make it stop, and they hate to feel like they’ve lost control of any situation. When cornered with the a lie they’ve told, they will do anything to change the subject. They will sometimes even claim heart pains of pretend to faint.
    When I discovered mine cheated on me (the first time) I was angry and anyone could see I was, and they’d think my reason for being angry made sense.
    The Narcissist waited until the dust settled and said to me, “I am starting to worry about your temper, and you are really scaring me.”
    So, it no longer was about cheating, it became all about the N’s feelings were never hurt so much because I called names and made threats after catching them cheating. Yes, in the N’s mind, the cheating was canceled out because the confrontation was soooo hurtful. What an assclown.
    Forgiving a Narcissist makes about as much sense as forgiving your toilet paper roll for running out on you.
    Have I forgiven mine? No. I may as well forgive a chair I stubbed my toe on.
    I have forgiven myself for falling for it way too many times. That was good enough for me.
    They have no souls, and they think they are their own higher power. The clergy would make a great cover for a hollow narcissist, so would any position of authority: law enforcement, military, politics, teaching, therapist, or President of the USA.
    Donald Trump is a textbook Narcissist, and look how many people are falling for his grandiose bullshit.


  6. I just broke up with my boyfriend for 4 1/2 years. I have never experienced in my life how someone can be so evil. I am an emotional wreck,hurt betrayed,and all the emotions that come with a breakup.I never knew he had this disorder until I started searching the internet for answers.


  7. I just found this website. AMEN. My name is Colleen Baker and I spent 27 years with an abusive, dangerous narcissist who happens to be a police captain. I could write thousands of evil experiences similar to those mentioned above, but I thought I would share the ultimate evil. My ex is so evil, he actually sold my family cemetery plot (which I purchased along with my living siblings in 1989, after my brother died) without my knowledge or consent. Now I can’t be buried with my siblings or my mother and father. He did this two years after we were divorced! Heartbreaking to all those involved and difficult for most to believe. But, survivors of narcissistic abuse understand. Pathological Narcissists always trip-up and expose their true self. When I shared my experience with a highly successful, best selling author and expert on abusive people, she said, “He want’s to erase your existence”. Enough said.


  8. Who would you forgive? Is there a human soul in that mind or body? Which one of the projections of false-self is the person you would forgive? I ponder this about my ex-N of 30 years. He was/is a minister…a pastor. In my reflections I try to figure out who he was so I can forgive. I have had to settle for wanting God’s mercy on him. Perhaps God knows who he is. Perhaps a severe mercy will heal his evil.


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