About ANA

ANA was developed out of sheer desperation of the human spirit clinging to it’s last bit of hope.

Lost and confused after ending a long term relationship that at one point had felt like the greatest “love” of my life, I struggled to find answers and put a finger on just WHAT IT WAS that had gone so terribly wrong.

So desperate was my need for answers, I sat on my therapists couch, tears streaming down my face, begging him to tell me, “WHAT IS WRONG WITH MEEEEEEEEEEEE?”

His answer surprised me; and forever changed the way I view this world.

“You were in a domestically abusive relationship.”

“WHAT?????”  I asked in utter shock. “But he didn’t “hit” me?”

He answered with, “Not with his fists.  You are dealing with a narcissist. You have just ended an abusive relationship with a NARCISSIST.”

My mind whirled  – when I heard my therapist name what it was – I began to be flooded with many examples from the narcissist’s behavior that fit what the therapist was telling me.

The narcissist lured me into a toxic affair with charm, mind games, promises & flattery – sold me on a soul mate love that he’d never felt before and then proceeded to take every good thing he could from me; my love, my innocence, my trust, my sense of justice, my kindness, my empathy, my unconditional love, and my good name – and replaced it with abuse. Lies about me (he told others I was stalking him), got me fired from jobs, created a fake website about me claiming that I was crazy, delusional, a drug addict, and even talked poorly about my children, who he was a father figure to for years.

The therapist ran over the list of symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder:

Lack of empathy? Check!
Boasting about his image? Check!
Perfectionism? Check!
Lack of boundaries? Check!
Expects special treatment? Check!

Obsessive Compulsive and sexually perverted? Check!

Pathological lying? Multiple serial affairs and cheating? Check!

Guilt tripping?  Check!
Passive aggressive? Check!
Possessive, Jealous, downright mean? Check!
Controlling. Wouldnt ‘allow’ me to have feelings or express them? Check!
Loved by everyone on the outside – but HATED by those who know the real them? Check!

I was dating the poster boy for narcissism

For the first time in many years….I finally felt that IT WASNT ME,  like the narcissist had blamed me for over & over.  It explained why I’d never been able to do anything right to ‘earn’  his “love”.

From that day on, I promised God that if he brought me through the darkness, that I would pay forward the knowledge of everything I learned through my lesson, about the narcissist, their red flags, their abuse, my upbringing with a narcissistic parent, my own vulnerabilities and how to never allow myself to be exploited again by another narcissistic individual; be it a boss, boyfriend, family member or friend.

My philosophy is very simple: KNOWLEDGE IS POWER  – I am making available all the knowledge I’ve gained as a result of this experience with a narcissistic abuser in an effort to help empower you and let you know  that you are not alone in your suffering.

There truly is Light, Life, Love & Laughter after narcissistic abuse, It is my hope for you, that you truly come to know this for yourself.

xo,

ANA

 

 

  1. Thank you for your writing and insights.
    I didn’t realise till I was into my forties and had been through many counselling sessions that my mother had been Narcissist #1. By then she had died from Alzheimer’s Disease.
    When I was 24 I had a very destructive 2 year relationship with Narcissist #2 who I finally managed to get away from. Having been charming in the extreme to begin with (to get his own way, I now know), he took everything he could from me and took complete advantage of my kind nature. He was very scary in the end and for many years I felt like I had PTSD or something similar, like a physical reaction to the memories etc. I was petrified of any contact with him and changed address, phone number, job.
    A few years later I found myself being charmed by another man, Narcissist #3. Unfortunately the alarm bells didn’t go off until three months after the wedding, when he took his mask off and took me into his particular type of hell. He was cruel and controlling but people he worked with etc thought he was wonderful and believed the horrible crazy stories he told them about me. I was married to him for 5 years with all the symptoms you mention. We had a daughter who he idolised. He used to tell me he was #1, she was a close 2nd and me and my other child were way down the bottom of the list because, he said, I was such a terrible person. He took me away from all my family and friends, took everything from me, even my own self, and left an empty shell of a person. We ended up living far away from my family in a different country. When my father was dying he wouldn’t give me money to go and see him. He said I should have thought about that before I left home. My sister paid for my flights and I saw him just days before he died.
    It was a miracle how I managed to gain the strength to take my kids, get the car keys from the N and go to a refuge where I got help. He blamed me for everything that had ever happened to him, every single thing was my fault. After we left he committed suicide.
    I have had many more counselling sessions since then and came to fully understand what madness I had been living in since I was a child. It certainly messes with your mind and skews your perspective on life. I found my authentic self again and now I’m very happy in my life and am very aware.
    Recently Narcissist #1 tracked me down after 35+ years wanting to meet up for a coffee. I thought about it long and hard before agreeing (very careful to not let him know where I live etc). It didn’t take long for the old patterns to raise their ugly head when things weren’t going his way, and I put a stop to it right away. It catapulted me right back like a kick in the guts. Very interesting to witness it quite objectively years later and see how he’s still blaming everyone else for his failures and still not taking any responsibility for himself.
    Thanks again ANA!

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  2. Thanks Ana….. now I know the name. … suffering at the hands of one such for the last 18 years….. and continuously thinking it’s me. Now my path is clearer.
    is there a way to reform a Narcissist? I would really like to help if it’s brings out a better person …. there must be some way.

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  3. I feel that my wife is narcissistic. Can someone please help me I don’t know what to do anymore.

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  4. Hi what is the best way to heal from this? I dated a n in 2013 who my best friend said he hated I started dated that narc in May 2015 his wife died Valentine’s Day 15 he tried to get me to marry him by July 16th wanted his name only on any place we bought together I tried breaking up with him 3 times last time mar 29 16 and went no contact after lots of mind games I am seeing a counsellor but he said he can’t diagnose
    The guy a true narc but most stuff I read seems like him like when he says one thing and then says different three days later I’m really disappointed cause I thought he would be my best friend. Most of my friends and family say he’s mad cause you didn’t marry him but I had no peace about marrying him. I feel relief and lost 12 pounds but I also feel guilty and my boss who we all worked for I think she thinks I’m totally nuts but she still keeps me on staff cause she hasn’t found anyone to replace me yet the counsellor says I’m codependent and need boundaries and I’m not disagreeing but what can I do now? I can see the counsellor once every two or three weeks cause I’m low income. I’m already been on sleeping pills since 2004
    Sorry I’m tired and not sure how to fix my mind from trying to keep solving problems

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  5. I was in a relationship with a narc for 9 years. He would make me feel like I was worthless, tell me I was stupid when he’d made me cry and shout at me for showing emotion. manipulate and control me, would never get a job yet would spend all my money and borrow of others, cut me off from friends and family, cheat on me, he would use cocaine regularly then lie about it when you could obviously see how high he was, physically threaten me (held a knife to me, ran at me with glass bottles and more.) but everyone thought he was amazing!!! (except the people who knew and loved me). He gave off this air of charm and wit to everyone and made me feel like it was all me and I was just going crazy!! But I thought he was the love of my life, my soul mate, and that if I left him I would always be alone because, as he said, no one else would want me.
    I left him nearly two years ago and now have a man in my life, who is wonderful, kind, giving and so supportive. I have so far had 2 courses of counselling (starting my 3rd next week.) Yet I still suffer from anxiety attacks, depression, flash backs, nightmares and more. Doctors have suggested it could be PTSD from the trauma of it all. We have a child together so he is still a small part of my life which is very difficult as it brings back memories I’d rather forget each time I have to see him. I know I’ll get there eventually but I wondered if anyone had been through similar and had any techniques or strategies which worked for them. I don’t want my daughter to see me cry any more. She’s only 6 and she’s seen, heard and been through enough already.
    Thanks

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  6. Ana and all other posts: Thank you so very, very much for sharing your experiences with the world. I knew there was something wrong in my marriage, but I carried the weight of the issues. My husband berated me for my family of origin, humiliated me (“just kidding around”, “you’re too sensitive”, etc) in front of friends, family and in private. He had at least one physical affair, plenty of emotional affairs, chased me at the beginning of the relationship, then emotionally abused me once he won me over, played the “money game” (controlling – didn’t want my input about “his money”, but told me all about what to do with “my money”), played the patriarchal healer/leader of HIS family, told his glory stories over and over again, yelled at me when he didn’t get what he wanted/because the internet wasn’t working/because the water bill was too much/because the traffic was awful, etc, yelled when he was spending “his money” on whatever, used sex to “connect” with me, obsessed about his appearance, and on and on.
    I am working intensely with a PTSD therapist and finally see why I have ALWAYS picked guys like him. He is almost (embarrassing to admit) the worst of them all. I feel like I am finally coming out of a 50 (yes, 50) year black fog. I knew I ended up in bad relationships (addicts, emotionally abusive) over and over again, but I couldn’t figure out why. I have thought about suicide more times than I can even remember – The only way I THOUGHT I could stop the pain.
    Once I started PTSD therapy, I began to understand more about the trauma I experienced as a child, and then repeated over and over again, as an adult. I was setting up the sickness and pain on a continuous basis. All the men I would be interested in, were absolutely abusive toward me, and I was the ONE who kept walking in front of the train. Looking at me, I don’t think you’d ever suspect what I was doing. I had successfully owned a business, smiled and was upbeat almost all the time, well groomed, but not over the top. But if you knew me well, you knew I was in a constant state of either high on “love” or miserable in abuse. Seldom was I living a calm life. I would run away when it got too difficult, but go right back in to another sick relationship, because I didn’t have a clue what was going on with me.
    This time it’s different, I am not RUNNING! I am also not trying to outwit or beat the N in my life. I am allowing the N be uncomfortable, without being vindictive, while I detach from him emotionally and make plans for MY future. I’m taking the time I need to remove myself from this situation, without hurting myself in the process. I have an incredible group of professionals, friends and family who are encouraging me, not pushing me on what they think I should do and when I should do it (been there many times), and keeping the light going while I move through the darkness.
    The “friends” who have disappeared, are not missed and I am not hurt by their disappearance. I don’t think of them as not being my friends, I think of them as people who are doing what they need to do, to take care of themselves. I am not their responsibility and they have a right to remove themselves from the drama.
    I am committed to moving forward, in a different light, uncovering my personal responsibility in setting up these relationships over and over again, and I feel certain I WILL get through this, I WILL be safe, and I WILL be happy.
    This is my commitment to myself and I encourage anyone suffering from N abuse, to please find a therapist that actually understands N and can guide you through the process of finding peace and finding your Self. It took me 4 therapists and 9 years, before I finally began to understand and accept how it was happening over and over and what I can start doing differently, to live a fulfilling life. As the old saying goes, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” Man, is that the truth!
    It hurt to see that I, too, have N characteristics. I am the Introvert, the victim N. I have cried too many times about what “he did/does”. I found myself constantly talking and obsessing about me, me, me, and him, him, him, because I wasn’t getting what I wanted or needed from him, and I couldn’t understand why he emotionally abused me. It was hard to see and accept some of the similarities between us. BUT, I have hope for me, because I never lost my empathy of others and the willingness to see my part in the setup.
    My codependency almost destroyed me. I now choose Life.
    Hurrah for this site and blessings to all N sufferers. For the first time in 9 years, I truly believe there is hope and freedom for me. I hope you will find this too.
    Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Ana, do you have a direct e-mail that I may ask you a couple questions regarding a certain situation and a FULL BLOWN NARC who takes not 1 ounce of personal responsibility for anything in his life. Affairs, lying, cheating, stealing, manipulating multiple business partners, gets his jollies off busting up marriages…the whole nine. But, yet will act like a lil Christian choir boy and act like everyone else is worthless, crazy, insane, or stupid. The only stupid ones are the ones that tolerate his BS! I swear some of these people think they are God. Thank you!

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  8. My daughter has been married to ONE for 13 years. She kicks him out but gets worn down and lets him back. I just wonder about my 2 grand children. What do Narcissants do to their children and how do you help them? I have seen how he has brainwashed the 4 yr for a year. Not allowing her to cry, demanding that she be with him. Now after a year he is working on my grandson. Being his best friend. Treats him as if he were 14 or 15, even tough he is only 7. Does adult things with him. Takes him to Hooters, bars and watches R rated movies that he watched when he was 15 or 1.6. He thought it was neat for them o see his deer head that he killed. He had them go to the garage and look at this jagged cut head and neck sitting in the garage.kept it there for a couple of weeks so they could see it every time they got in the car.
    If you know any books written about children of Narcissants, or what happens to them I would appreciate it. I see some of the same behavior in my grandchildren that I saw in.my son in law for the past 11 yrs I’m in denial. I’m probably in denial. But I would like to know what I could do to help them or get my daughter strong enough to not see him. She uses excuses, but the one I have trouble with is she says she does not want to cause a scene in front of the kids. I understand but it’s not like this would be the first scene! Please help.

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  9. Looking to learn. Thank you.

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  10. WHEN WILL THE DOUBT STOP? I still feel have to defend myself as to why I am not insane or a narc- I still have that awful feeling where one is trying so hard to explain self to N…. he is really being… himself… court soon…. will he ever be done coming after me claiming I am source of all that is wrong in the world, his life… ugh….

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  11. Ana , thank you. I echo much of what has already been shared. With the help of the community of victims I believe I can recover and still have some kind of life once I discover who I really am. Two points I would just like to point out here . One is that I noticed that many victims are female. I need to say , without shame , that I am a male and was ‘ fooled ” just like the rest . In a male dominated society it makes me feel very foolish. I should have “known”. How could I be so duped ? After all I’m a “guy ” right ? Well the truth is I have very deep and sensitive emotional feelings . I have empathy towards others. I’m not ” power oriented “. And I’m not afraid to say that I cry. The second thing I want to say is that being involved with a narcissistic wife for over 45 years consumed my whole life up till now. Yes , it went on for that long. I went thru the discard phase for 5 or more years at the end . How I finally got the courage to leave eventually only God knows. Someday I will write a book about my life with a narcissist as I’m sure many of you could too. But for now , no matter if your a guy , or an older person whose been blindsided after a lifetime filled with lies , don’t give up. With the help of ANA and others there is a future for even the oldest and most damaged of victims.

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  12. Hi Ana,
    I was married to a Narc and went through all that is listed on your site. I have recovered and have a passion to help women. I have a health and wellness consulting business called ForeverWhole101. I am putting together an online self esteem building workshop this spring. I wanted to know if I could share this with your audience to see if anyone is interested. I have a passion to help women in abused situations like you do. Would love to be of some assistance. My FB page is https://www.facebook.com/foreverwhole101LLC/
    my email is foreverwholenow@yahoo.com
    God bless!

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  13. I am in a full blown Narcissistic marriage. My husband is also an alcoholic so when drunk (daily) and blindly drunk (every weekend), he gets even worse. Thanks for this site. I am starting to see that there might be a life for me after this.

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    • The “alcoholism” is smoke and mirrors. Narcs use it as an exuse for their bahavior or as a reason to treat people the way they do. It’s secondary to their mental health issues. They are fully aware of this. If they are not drinking or drugging or both, it only makes it easier to mimic “normal” behavior and to manipulate you easier. Do not buy into it. They will not change if they stop drinking or drugging. It will only destroy you further if you buy into this as a Narcs excuse.

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  14. Greg: Finding it hard to accept that its a man writing this blog! For some reason it’s hard to wrap my head around. Although my first narcissist was a woman, my mother. That’s hard to wrap my head around too. Working on it. 20+ with Mother, 20 with first husband and 20 with this husband. I’m going to write a book when I get to a safe place. For now I can’t even stay logged in on this computer long enough to refill my coffee. Keep up the good work. Is your story here somewhere?

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  15. Right there with ya on the checklist Ana…my narc showed almost the same list….. astoundingly yet sadly familiar behaviours.

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  16. There need to be more clued up therapists. It took me 3 years to find someone who could actually recognise trauma sitting in the chair opposite them, that it wasn’t me or my supposed “codependency” or allowing it to happen, but narcissistic abuse. I just didn’t know what I had been involved in. I had two of these terrible relationships. The first destabilised my life significantly, and left me in a tough financial situation. Number two was brought into my world two years later by so called friends. I really thought it was soul mate stuff. When it was all over and I was emotionally wrecked, my friends, who had given him such a glowing write up at the start, claimed that they didn’t really know him that well. I think I experienced one overt type and one covert, maybe even psychopathic. When I went to a therapist with what I now know was cognitive dissonance and various symptoms of trauma, she abruptly suggested that I was “hanging on to it”. To think I even had to pay her for that!! When there is obvious trauma, a therapist should start with the recent event and work as far back as is required. This one wanted to drag me through my childhood point the finger at my parents and seemingly dismiss the adult abusive relationships I’d just survived. I spent three years trying to work it all out on my own and heal myself. I quit my job, sold my home, and now live with extended family in another county. It has cost me a lot to recover, but I’m pretty much there now. I think I might even have ended my life to stop the pain if it wasn’t for wonderful information like this being available on the internet and some very good books (I have an “impressive” library now, enough to scare the daylights out of any narc!). Four years on and I’m training to be a therapist myself who can help other people with this kind of thing.

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    • Is there anyway you could list your book/article library? I would greatly appreciate any & all info as from being on the Internet I’m copying & pasting infinite links to refer back to as well as help others. I’m recently on my journey & hopeful with all printed info that survivors can thrive, my goal is to continually recover & shine light for others-thank you in advance for any help you could provide.

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  17. I have had blinders on all my life! I have never cried so much just by reading the statistics of my life in black and white. I cant lie, I am terrified!!! I have almost 22 years in and 16yrs married and I’m only 37. I have 2 sons with this person… He just left 6 days ago and hasn’t spoke a word to me since and vise versa… & yes to the best of my knowledge he has himself a new supply, what am I say I know he does!! Or he would have returned by now… I am every single emotion listed!! I feel like I’m schizophrenic, or Bi-polar. I am so lost and alone and confused and sad and heartbroken. The list could go on for days. Down right unstable and sick to my stomach!!! I am so afraid of what I need to do and need not do and I have to arm myself with the skills to make this the last time he does this to me!!! Thank you for all the wisdom!! I cant tell you how much this resource means to me. I know now that I will need to find myself a therapist to help me become the woman I was meant to. Not this scared little girl that I am now.
    Much Love
    Fist Bump*
    S.

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  18. I see a lot of woman on here feel so bad for y’all. My narc was a woman of 35 years old with a child, I’m 25. Such a terrible party for the year of hell that I thought was love. I still cry though she made it as painful as possible for me. Lieng backstabbing manipulation it hurts so much I did so much for her and she never reciprocated anything emotionally. I just feel like I’ll never be the same sometimes. I’m much less patient with people and at a time I was one of the most patient people I knew. Does anyone have any advice on dealing with the subconscious anger?

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    • First, it is very common to experience identity shifts after encountering narcissistic people. It’s possible to get yourself back, just a stronger version, but it really takes a ton of honesty and hard work.

      Because the many losses these relationships cause us to suffer, we have an intense and extended grief process / cycle. Anger, is part of that cycle. It’s a fuel, a motivator that propels us through all the stages and of course, serves its own purpose of expressing the reaction we have to the unnecessary hurting we did because narcissist enjoys taking advantage of and using other people. (taking without giving back).

      My advice Joe, would be to not let the anger remain dormant (as you put it, subconscious). Get it out of you in healthy ways. Some of those ways involve: physical exercise, journaling/ writing about the anger, seeing a therapist, or posting on pages like ours where you can get the support and validation for your feelings – even anger.

      Your anger at your former partner is justified. You were treated inappropriately, whether she realizes it or not. As you know if you’ve read up on the disorder, narcissists NEVER take responsibility for their behavior so many of the things she did to you, she will blame you for. Trying to get her to apologize, see the error of her ways, or realize the tremendous hurt she caused you is FUTILE. Wasted energy & breath that can be better spent discharging your pent up emotions in a healthy manner and tending to your own self care so that you heal.

      Please feel free to reach out to us and all the survivors in our community either here on our blog, or on our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/pages/After-Narcissistic-Abuse-There-is-Light-Life-Love/114835348601442

      Take care of yourself! You are WORTH IT!!

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    • I relate Joe!! my patience is thin and though I had always been patient, caring, not angry and a good listener, now after 3 months narc free im still noticing that im showing traits my narc had…..unconsiously behaving similar and it really sucks…..

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    • I can relate to the anger. I was afraid to go to social functions and family dinners because I was trying to start arguments all the time. I finally realized I’m so angry at myself for marrying him in the first place, angry and me and being in denial about it and still pretending things were OK. So, now, eyes wide open, dealing with forgiving myself has most of the anger tamed. Dealing with my own “neediness” and wanting to be loved so desperately that I ignored 5 red flag warnings and married him anyway. So, yes, angry at myself. Now working on that neediness and love hunger. But my fear of finding someone like him again is keeping me here for now. 3 narcs in my life, 20 years each, so there’s a lot of fear in being single again. I think I’m hoping he’ll go find someone else and leave me alone. Things are OK for now, he’s turned to a work addiction (Everyone loves him at work, he’s the star, of course,) so I rarely have to see him anyway.

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    • Hi, I totally hear you on the anger taking over. After “V” destroyed me, it has taken me almost 3 years since the end to realize that my loss of trust in humanity, and the terror of “if I loved “V” that much…and I was still cheated on, abused, etc., then why love anyone ever again?”… I started feeling like why should I let the Narcissist win over my life, my years, myself? Try telling yourself that first of all, your narcissist’s opinion is no longer valued because they are not a good person. Next, try and think about how there still are some good people, just be careful and remember you shall “know them by their fruits”.
      When I get angry (anyone displaying cruelty or lying), I try to tell myself how well I am doing recognizing that trait now, and that the person doing something mean is not worth my precious energy. Don’t let them win sweetie.

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  19. Wow. My only regret is not having found this site and others a long time ago. My N was in law enforcement, and its amazing how that can strike even further fear into your heart (when you realize how he has snookered his co-workers into believe that you’re having an affair and then you realize not only is your husband stalking you, but so is his co-workers…all of whom carried guns and watched your movement!). Whirlwind romance, too good to be true, then he said after we got married I was the one who changed…once our names were signed to that paper! He backed me into corners financially and with property…and many moons later, the love of his life finally freed herself from her husband and, buddy, I was gone with the wind, thrown away like trash. Off he trotted with her, leaving his children and me behind….devastated. I lost the home I paid for, my retirement fund, my vehicle, struggling with a low-paying job with two children still at home. And EVERYTHING I have to FIGHT for: a roof over my head, child support… I mean FIGHT for! He took my floor jack and jumper cables and I have to drive 3 hrs to meet him with my children and don’t have those items b/c I can’t afford to get them! They are slick wolves in sheep clothing. It took me forever to realize I was victimized, punished myself for allowing myself to be caught up in something like that. I am a strong personality and NEVER would have thought I would be in such a position. I, too, wanted to do what I could to help others who are in the midst of such a storm. It’s an interesting animal, to be sure. If there is anything I can do to help…by all means let me know!

    Things to look out for:
    Whirlwind romance
    God complex
    Your friends and family interaction dwindling
    “Nobody likes you.”
    “You hate me b/c you cooked THAT!”
    “You’re just mad b/c you’re not getting your way!”
    “I just can’t win with you, (name), can I?”
    “You don’t trust me, that’s why you don’t let me have my name on bank acct/house/car.”
    “Something’s wrong with you, that’s why you don’t want to do ___ in the bedroom.”

    I tried to find sites that would help me deal with him and possibly save the marriage. HA! The best advice is the one I didn’t want to hear: “RUN!!! While you still are alive and breathing…RUN!” They cannot be fixed. WHY SHOULD THEY BE!? You are talking to a narcissist…someone who has already reached perfection!
    My advice? RUN!

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  20. Amazing! I moved our of my home a left my N the end of May 2015. Still not divorced but living in my own place and exception of seeing him at a couple of community event theatre has been no contact for months (2 I think)

    It has been a learning experience. I know I am mentally still deling with what I went thru in our 9 year marriage. I am learning who are friends and who aren’t. Those I thought were “best” friends have ousted me.

    STBXNH has moved on, best of my calculations he chad a new lady in July for sure, maybe earlier. Me, I’m still married I will not date until divorce is final, working hard to heal and seem to be making some progress. I do hope one day I too can help others understand what they have been thru.

    I know I am not to blame for the treatment I endured, and right now I am working hard to figure out why I fell for his nonsense. Scares are deep but they are healing, I have a great attorney and a fabulous counselor. They are my dream team, two wonderful ladies and I will get past this, thanks for sharing your story.

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  21. Ana, I am grateful to come across your website and hear the voice of another woman who went through what feels like a carbon copy of the same experience; it’s uncanny. I am so fortunate to have finally ended my relationship with mine. Every day I stitch my life back together as I walk my journey home to Self, putting one foot in front of the other. I shared my story recently on a wordpress blog.

    Please feel free to share with anyone you think it might help. Much love to your on your journey. You are an incredibility courageous woman.

    Much Love, Aimee

    https://lovetrustfaithblog.wordpress.com/2015/12/29/blindsided-heartbreak-what-a-relationship-with-a-narcissist-looks-like/

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  22. Thank you so much for all of the helpful, valuable and empowering information you are sharing with us, giving us the knowledge to deal with the Narc in our life. Please, please, can you construct a website/blog page geared toward helping teenaged (or younger) children dealing with the Narcissistic parent in their life? My own grandchildren have been dealing with a Narc parent and have finally recognized how toxic this parent is. They need guidance and help dealing with their feelings and coping strategies. Since being away from the toxic parent, they are so much happier, more calm, able to focus and feel more secure. It would help to have something for them to constantly refer to (on THEIR level) on a daily basis for comfort, strength and coping. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you and please keep up the excellent job you’re doing enlightening the public (and the victims) about Narcissistic Abuse and Recovery. God bless!

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  23. I just happened to come across your blog and I cannot thank you enough for your honesty. I am going through my own stuff and your post has finally put a label on it.

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  24. Thanks for your site! I realized about a year ago that I was married to a narcissist, and I am in the midst of trying to divorce him now. He is the flag bearer for all of these traits, and I have to say that divorcing has not been easy, particularly with small children at stake; he is turning on all of his charm to try to convince me to stay with him, but I don’t think I could ever trust him again after everything that has happened. He has also started calling me, his family, basically everyone else in his life a narcissist to try to deflect blame for his bad behavior, while using our children as pawns. It is an ongoing struggle. Thanks for putting voice to all of this, I look forward to reading all of your posts!!

    Like

  25. Oh my god. Thank you. Thank you for this blog. I had to go to nursing school with my narcissistic abuser – I identify with everything you’ve said and now am exhibiting those symptoms of PTSD all while thinking I am literally going insane. I am reading every word of your blog – I have shown it to my roommates and girlfriends from school and they have become inspired to read it and help me through this MESS I allowed into my life.

    THANK YOU. Thank you for putting into words what I am only starting to be free from. Thank you thank you. I’m starting to hope again.

    Like

  26. Just wanted to say I love your blog and follow you on FB. As a survivor of a 12 year relationship with a narcissist/psychopath, I am called, as you are, to gather and share as much information as I can to expose these monsters! I recently started a FB page ‘He Said The Sky Was Purple- The Narcissist’ and have shared several of your posts. I am returning to college ( at the age of 53 ) to finish up my BS in Psychology and minor in Creative Non-Fiction. I plan to put out as much information as humanly possible to help educate the masses. I truly believe if I can help even one person dodge the narcissist’s bullet, it will make my 12 years in hell not be wasted. Kudos for a job well done, keep fighting the good fight and have a blessed Christmas!

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Thank You!!! After 12 years of Physical & Emotional Abuse, Self Harm and Addiction I have just realized I’m not losing my mind. Merry Xmas- it’s already a disaster in the making but this just saved me. I don’t know how to get out yet due to my 13 yr old Stepson (I’m the Breadwinner) but I do see it’s a possibility…….without crawling back in shame…. There is HOPE starting to grow.

    Like

  28. Thank you so much… Im a 25 year old male my qualifier girlfriend of 35 years old really put me through it. I thought she had narcissistic tendencies but I had doubted my own institution for so long. It helps to hear that other people understand how difficult the recovery can be? Where do I start?

    Like

  29. Hey I am a research student and I would like to ask your permission in a formal way to use the data (stories and maybe blogs) on this website to analyse for my research on those who have cohabitated with a narcissist. Can you email me back so I can officially send you the invitation. This is bonafide research conducted through Queensland University of Technology in Queensland Australia. The invitation explains more and you can choose either way without any repercussions.

    Like

  30. im in physical pain atm not from him hitting me just my body feels so tense and i feel sick without him

    Like

  31. Hi Ana – thank you so much for sharing your story. I’d like to submit an article I’ve written about overcoming the aftermath of dealing with a narcissist. Thank you!

    Like

  32. I feel like a mist has lifted. I’ve been subjected to this for 20 years. Never realized exactly what was going on.

    Like

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