Psychological/emotional abuse is a grooming and conditioning process whereby the abuser ‘conditions’ or manages down the target/victim through subtle to extreme CONTROL.

It is purely psychological and emotional abuse with a Narcissist!! A Narcissist needs to project so many things at and ‘into’ their target to feel empowered and real, as well as deny their own darkness and destructive ways by transferring and dumping everything and anything toxic onto the target/victim. It is a tangled mess for the victim/target to discern reality from all of these mechanisms that are in place for the Narcissist to succeed at doing what they are doing – ABUSING TO GET SUPPLY!

From my Book – Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist!

Psychological/emotional abuse is a grooming and conditioning process whereby the abuser ‘conditions’ or manages down the target/victim through subtle to extreme CONTROL. As I outlined above there are so many tactics that a Narcissist uses to do this that every aspect of the target/victims conscious world is manipulated into dealing with the abuse tactics and this diverts and warps a target/victims reality over time. It becomes a 24/7 or full time job as it concerns the target/victim dealing with so many mind games that are thrown their way. It literally causes their world to fall apart around them.

Conditioning changes behaviors and thus the abuser successfully changes or manipulates a person’s normal reality and transforms it into some form of fear and control over the intended target/victim. Fear can be interpreted as many things with psychological abuse; fear that the target/victim BELIEVES they really have mental issues, fear of abandonment, fear of punishment, fear of loss, fear of rage, fear of destruction at the hands (or better yet the mouth) of a Narcissist, fear of being harmed, and fear of not being worthy of love AND life.

The grooming process puts the target/victim into a place of trust first where they are joined at the hip with their abuser. Clinically the Narcissist ‘love bombs’ the target/victim literally to death to create this strong emotional bond so they can easily achieve their agenda to pillage, extort and destroy their target/victims reality, mind, and soul. It conditions the target/victim to value the Narcissist above themselves because the Narcissist successfully managed the target/victim down so they DON’T value themselves anymore. It is a constant barrage of a combination of manipulative and negative actions as well as the LACK of positive and supportive actions. It is also punishing the victim through silencing, raging, ignoring, putting them down and forcing them into complete compliance. The target/victim is forced to only consider what the Narcissist needs are, and the Narcissist NEVER considers a single need of the target/victim.

The Narcissist disallows individualism in favor of this complete compliance and adoration of themselves. Failure to do so will only lead to stronger attacks to comply or else. There is no reward for meeting the Narcissist’s needs because they will demand more and more. The target/victim is drained of their self-esteem and reality and the Narcissist will only go in for the kill with more dehumanizing, destruction and ‘smearing’ their target/victim and then abandoning them and moving on to abuse another.

With all of this in mind is there anything that is as equally insidious as far as what this abuse does to a good, loving, caring, and moral person that lives with empathy at the core of their reality. NO and I say it again as a survivor of this abuse that has lived within this destructive lifestyle and lived with what was a battle to regain my integrity and life back. This is not a simple matter of going into recovery, it is like learning to walk again, seeing the goodness once more that does exist in life, learning to trust people, rebuilding yourself financially, and basically starting over after being infected by a contagious, destructive, diseased Narcissist. I have talked to many targets/victims that are many years past their abuse and still feeling frozen from the effects of this abuse, as well as targets/victims that just can’t escape this abuse because the psychological aspect is so deep rooted and they are looking for that ‘little miracle’ that will revive this relationship or change their Narcissist. Please understand that it will NEVER ever happen. No/minimum contact ALWAYS. Greg