NEVER look back at this connection or relationship you had with a personality disordered individual (narcissist) as anything but abuse and leave it there in favor of healing and moving forward with clarity, education, and support. A GREAT reminder that we can never look back when we are healing!

Posted by ANA - After Narcissistic Abuse

The recovery process is so multi-dimensional that it means that there are really no simple answers to the question “how do I stop the pain and what do I do to move forward with my recovery?” There are answers that we need to have in the beginning of our recovery but they are basically concerning the educational process so we are ‘in the know’ about this disorder and can get our ‘ah ha’ moment and then move onto personal introspection and a healthy recovery.

From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist

The first revelation we must ABSOLUTELY accept is that the Narcissist will never give you any satisfaction with any question as to ‘why’ or any closure – UNLESS they want something more from us and it will only be more distorted manipulation and devaluation — this is their pattern ALL THE TIME. They ran off to a new source of supply to do what they do best and basically that is to extort the next person that will be in your same shoes one day. You will need to let go of thinking that you need them to understand what you are going through or that you will be successful at changing them in some manner and get that validation. That would pull you right back into the trauma that you are trying to heal from as well as giving your power away and setting yourself up for more abuse! The Narcissist is NOT any part of your recovery as looking to them for anything to help the process along.