Fighting the GOOD Fight
Battling a narcissist and their lies is an exhausting battle.
Im a person who gets exhausted by fighting. That’s all that existed for the 3 years I was involved with the self centered, reality twisting narcissist. I fought to save my sanity, earn the respect I deserved, have my feelings honored, my questions about my future answered, and my boundaries respected.TO NO AVAIL.
My mind body and soul were ready to move on 12 months ago. The narc had other plans: If I wasnt going to keep quiet about the REAL him being revealed, then he was going to “show” me by exacting his rage and fury by using proxies and the legal system to shut me up. I always said I’d STOP telling the truth about him, if he stopped LYING about me. I know better than to try and bargain with a narcissist however; as its nothing more than negotiating with the devil.
I was forced to fight a fight I didnt choose to engage in, but had to in order to fight for principal, TRUTH and my own self preservation. The future holds a couple of other fights with the dirty narc that targeted me, but I’m prepared.
The one thing I know for sure is that I will never again engage in a futile argument with the narc that targeted me as well as all the other narcissists running freely rampant in our every day lives. I will no longer allow my character, my word, my truth, my actions, my integrity, my mental health, my motivations, intentions and godliness to be up for debate.
Just because people don’t believe the truth doesn’t make it a lie – Just as people believing a lie doesn’t make it the truth.
After Narcissistic Abuse 
if someone feels like they have been the victim of Narcissist abuse who do they call. Again, I’m doubting myself. Every single warning sign is there, I just need to know where to go for help.
thank you Karen
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Thank you for sharing this I’m still confused and one of believe something we had was real I read this it makes sense but I’m still confused in an absolute wreck and want to handle it in a Godly way I need prayers thank you. He’s so believable it does appear that I’m absolutely crazy. Some people believe it so it’s constant anxiety from feeling loved to absolutely crushed I keep believing him and then he breaks my heart again I already lost one job family.
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Please remember that confusion and anxiety do NOT come from God. This confusion is present because someone’s words and actions caused conflicting feelings and beliefs. The narcissist is a skilled expert at blaming these feelings on YOU, not to mention, everything else. They expect you to carry the shame and responsibility for all the ways they feel, think and behave. You likely have been accused of things that you haven’t done. This is the narcissist projecting their problems on to you.
Here’s a suggestion: Make a LINE down the middle of the page. Be very honest. On one side of the page, write down everything you are responsible for (examples: letting him into your life, not telling him no, not ceasing contact, etc. Remember – you are responsible for your thoughts, feelings, words, and behavior) then on the other side of the paper, put all the things the narcissist is responsible for (example: lying, cheating, manipulating, blaming, deflecting, smear campaigning, etc.)
In times of confusion, pull out the list and add anything you need to, to either side of the line. Anything that belongs to the narcissist, you cannot do a thing about except ACCEPT that, this is how they are. Then use your personal power to change the things you can.
Another very effective tool is to pray the Serenity prayer. Ask God to:
Grant you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change (the narcissist)
The COURAGE to change the things you can (yourself)
and the wisdom (boundaries – the list you will write) to KNOW the DIFFERENCE.
Understanding the differences between yourself and the narcissist, will help you be less confused.
Please reach out to your support system or to members of our facebook group if you feel comfortable, when you need extra help. 🙂
Thank you for reaching out here!!
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wow – well said – thank you
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How do I cope with a narcisstic family member who I have to remain in contact with to protect my mom. Not only am I attacked personally with constant lies but by stories told to doctors are irrational and inconsistent to the truth. This person co tinues to build an army is supporters while I spin my wheels documenting the lies to build a case. I feel like I’m never going to get ahead or have peace in my life again. I’m exhausted and sick from all of this. Thank you!!!
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I WAS WITH MY WIFE FOR 9 YEARS SHE DROP ME LIKE TRASH I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE HER TO COUNT FOR EMOTIONAL DESTRESSING ABUSE N MISTREATMENT
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Been through that, too. I wrote about everything on a blog and on fb. The truth. Publicly but no names. The narc girlfriend of the man that flirted with me and started a narc abuse on me when felt rejected (since my guts were telling me danger something is wrong with thi man) started to abuse me, calling 20 times a day, 8nulting me, telling lie agter lie, wanting to provowuefights with me, telling me to shut up and atop eriying about everything i lived. She narc, he narc or borderline or s8mply an assh*le, and both victimized by each other, fighting each other hirting each other and me in the middlw the scape goat. Someone to attack together. She told me: you wanted to tear us apart but now we arw more united than ever. Speaking about karma: both were each others karma. My opinion. I strted to doubt myself and feel guilty and with no rights to defwnd myself, to speak up and stand up for myself. What they wanted implanted on my thoughts and feelings. started questioning myself, If i had misunderstood everything, if i was the abuser, like she always was saying. Still recovering from all that moral and emotional dirt. Sick, evil people. I felt a lot for him, but i realize it was my will to help him out of all that sick life, that drove me to him. his pity eyes i thouht was a cry for help. But he sold me to his narc girlfriend in order not to loose her. Don’t regret having spoken up, it was my moral duty, i owed ot to myself and others. But i have stronger boundaries now. I love my “no” and uae it as much as i feel to. Hank you for your words, for being there, for speaking up and informing, too.
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