What Does the Bible Say About Narcissistic Behavior?
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After Narcissistic Abuse 
WOW!
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On a personal level I can see how utterly destructive being associated with a narcissist must be. With passion, I hate the evil inflicted on victims of narcissism. I’m sure it’s common that as this article is read that the reader mentally identifies the description of the narcissist with persons known to them. For me, I see this description being a perfect fit for the current US President.
What are the dangers to democracy and the US’s standing in global affairs when a narcissist is president?
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I’m overwhelmed now. I know now for sure that I’ve become my husband’s target and although I’m hard to kill, going in almost 12 years, he seems more determined now so he just got me arrested. No charges pressed but now he’s got another weapon to attack me, undervalue me and do all of the above against me. I have nobody to talk to that can help me get out of this marriage. I have a toddler with him that now seems to be obsessed with him and therefore “prefers” him over me. I’m very scared and desperate.
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Wouldn’t you agree that Satan was the first narcissist??? Look at the damage he’s done..after being involved with several in my life..I would say RUN and never look back. They will destroy you!
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OH for CERTAIN, I agree that Satan was the very first narcissist. And what does that say about all “his children”? All the narcissists that came after him!
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..good to know they will reap what they’ve sown!
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I want to know what the Bible says about leaving a narcissist.
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This is heartbreaking. So many narcissistic assholes in my life. Stepmother, one of her brothers, exes. It’s a wonder I survived. Without God I wouldn’t have.
Now my children are, and I don’t understand. I have always loved them, and did everything I could for them. Why?
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im dealing with a narcissistic older father i moved in to help out around the house….i am labeled a guest i pay rent and i do everything around the house he does nothing. He locked the food in a cupboard so my brother and i couldnt eat. We got so hungry we found a way to slide the lock with a butter knife…hooray we could eat…if only for a day. As kids we didnt think of him doing inventory so when he fed himself that night he knew we had gotten in there and taken food. We were punished with hitting and sent to our room. The next day when we went back to eat our loving father had put a metal plate across the lock so we could get the butter knife in there to open it. Hes doing all the narcissistic things to me and i feel im losing my mind….my only hope is to run away from this person i feel awful….i know what to be aware of now. Very good read thank you so much.
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foglight story doesnt make sense
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Yes it does.
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I know what you’re going through. I had a narcissistic mother who was also borderline too. She did the same sort of things to me and my younger brother. It drove me to suicide on a regular basis. YOU have to leave. I know you are probably looking at your younger sibling and asking how you two are going to get away from this. The only answer is to either A) move in or stay at friends houses or family as much as possible until you are old enough to move out. or B) if you are old enough to legally move out, then get ready to go, DON”T TELL YOUR ABUSER YOU ARE MOVING! Prepare secretly and then you and your sibling can leave perminately. Limit or cut off contact with your abuser and get help from counselors. If you need FOOD right now. Look up getting foodstamps in your area and go to that office and apply for them. Tell them you are not a dependent of your parent and you don’t get food from them. You do not share meals. They should issue you a foodstamp card and they should expedite money to the card so you can buy some groceries for you and your brother. You can also call 911 and tell them about the abuse, but know this – if you do that and they don’t remove you and your brother and put you in foster care, you will have to deal with that parent’s narcissistic rage. HE WILL RETALIATE, HE WILL PUNISH YOU. Be ready. So if you want to keep the peace, get on foodstamps, move out. If you’re 16, pack a bag and sleeping bags and keep it in your car so you can sleep in your car if you have to so you can get away. If you’re under 15 and so is your brother – you can go to your school counselor and principle and tell them ALL ABOUT THE ABUSE. They can help you.
Be strong, you can survive this. Don’t take your own life. Your father’s mental problems are not YOUR problems. Ok? There is nothing wrong with you, you just have an asshole for a parent. He’s crazy. You are entitled to be treated with respect, and you are entitled to be fed. It’s LAW that he feed you, otherwise it’s Child Neglect! He can go to jail!
Keep your chin up, you can get through this. Try to be avoid him as much as possible until you have a plan on how to get yourself and your brother safe.
*BIG HUGS* Don’t give up! And if you’re really upset and you think you’re going to take your own life call for help 1-800-273-8255. It’s the national suicide preventional hotline.
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I have been married for 35 years to one. I didn’t know they had a name. The most unforgiving,lying,and hurtful person I have ever known. I use to say strangers are more important than me. Now I know they are. The emotional pain I am not sure I will ever get over. The physical brusies are gone. The nightmare still in my head. He had a new girlfriend within two weeks of course saying what he did I did. And then saying I left him not that he stabbed me in the throat with a fishing pole and hit me over the head with a jar. Of when I said say your sorry. No was his answer. Totally not worth bringing around. At least I am I am worthy now. I want a lifetime restraining order. Of course I have already told the kids. If he is coming I am not. I am so tired of the holidays or party being ruined. Am grateful for my daughter telling about Pinterest. So grateful!
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I am a stage 4 metastatic breast cancer patient. I escaped for fear of my life at the beginning of Nov. 2017. I am in assisted living/hospice now. When my oncologist recommended hospice bc of my health. I jumped at the opportunity. Finally, I had a viable reason to escape from under his thumb. The Lord has placed me under Eagles Wings, this place is my sanctuary, my refuge, my safe place.
The more serious my illness became, the meaner, more vendictive he became bc I had become a burden. to him. Caring for a home, the role of care-giver is meant for a woman, not a NARC, therefore, he punished me through witholding basic needs. Twice I had to increase the hours of my caregiver from 12, 20 to 35 hours per week. Although, my spouse was home, retired, he resented caring for me.
When going from severe emotional abuse to physical abuse on a cancer stricken, bone involved body. I feared when he shoved my back against the 2nd floor wooden railing, my spine & right scapula hurt so bad. I had to use my pain pump to help he lieve my pain. I feared, I would crash through the railing rolling more than 10 stairs onto a tile floor. I called police. They are a true brotherhood. He was protected. It was swept under the rug, as he retired from 25 years of being a cop. Suffering from stage 4 cancer with a 3 month prognosis, I knew for my protection. I had to leave.
Narcissism is a brutal disorder. They are not at all remorseful for the destruction they inflict on their entire family. The ironic thing is I’m in couseling, my son is seeking pastoral advice, while my daughter was his “flying monkey” implementing all his bidding. Being raised by a Narcissist becomes the normal behavior for your children. He created a position for my daughter as spreading his smear campaign, while my son & I were made the blacksheep of the family which connotes rejection, withdrawal of any type of emotions, such as unconditional love, compassion, empathy, support. While my husband emotionally abused me, my daughter abused her younger brother, calling him a looser, criticizing everything he ever did. She even lunged at him when he was a grown man hitting him on the chest.
Lots of destruction caused by this selfish, selfcentered, covert Narcissist who will NEVER admit to the damage he created at his hand. Everyone left picking up the pieces, while he is free to walk away & look for another victim.
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Cynthia, My heartfelt prayers go out to you this morning. PLEASE, for your peace and joy during this difficult time, cling to the Lord – his intention for you is not to endure 1 more moment of abuse by a malevolent narcissist here on earth. Please let us know if we can do anything to help.
If writing about your experience is healing to you I’d like to offer you a platform to do that. Please let me know if this is something that would be good for you.
In God’s Holy Name, I pray for you – Amen!
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Dear Ms. Hernandez,
I read your message of how you are living through pain and suffering. As being a child of narc mother and a former cancer patient myself, still I cannot even begin to imagine what that must have been for you and what you are going through right now. My wife showed me to your post and I knew I had to tell you about a form of treatment that may be able not only to ease your suffering, but actually to reverse the disease for you. Through God’s infinite mercy, a few months before my own diagnosis I came across a book called “Outsmart your cancer” by Tanya Harter Pierce. In it there are listed many alternative approaches to healing cancer and other chronic illnesses, especially easy to use and potent being a drug, called Protocel. Another good option is the Cesium High PH therapy that is very strong and fast acting. Please, you have time still, take a look at it. It is available at Amazon on Kindle, so you can start reading it right away. Also, please google the Cellect-Budwig method which is the jewel of the alternative medicine. I will pray to God that you are healed and be able to live a long and happy life. May God bless you.
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I have been dealing with a narc on and off for the past 17 years. It took me this long to figure out what the (HELL) his problem is. Unfortunately, we have a son together. I feel just sick about that fact who his father is. No child deserves this!! I am trying to get away from him permantely, what a living nightmare. I pray for everyone who got caught up in this horrible life. We live in a small town in Colorado, wanting to go back to Utah. Ladies, don’t come here, for you will be his next victim. GOD BLESS US ALL
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I’m currently going through a divorce from my husband of 37 years. I had a voice telling me things about my husband throughout our marriage that I thought were wrong about his behavior towards me. It wasn’t until about a year ago that I told my oldest son that I thought my husband was a narcissist; I didn’t even know what it truly meant. I started reading and reading and my eyes were opened that he has a lot of the characteristics but not all. So I’m confused if he really is a narcissist. For example, I’ve read where they cheat on their partner and usually have several other women lined up as potential supplies. I feel that my husband has never been involved with another woman while we were together. But since we’ve separated he has already gotten on FarmersOnly professing that’s he’s divorced while we’re still married. Lining up his next victim. And the other thing I’ve read is how when they are done with you once married, they start “Discarding” you. I’ve never felt during our marriage that he was trying to discard me, he had it made why would he want to discard me? I do feel that he had huge “disrespect” for me and women in general. So can the discarding and disrespecting be kinda the same? He was way too chicken/scared to leave our marriage, he would have never chased me off, but he chose to disrespect me. Now that I was the one who wanted out of our marriage, I’ve hurt him and he’s on a campaign to hurt/smear me in any way that he can. He wants to destroy me emotionally, spirtitually, and financially since I hurt him. Like I said he has several narcisst characteristics, I’m just confused about the cheating and discarding, I don’t think those factor during our marriage. Now that we’ve separated he’s doing it. Can someone explain?
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Kelli go to Quora.com and search narcissist and all your questions will be answered by other victims/survivors! Been there and now going through the healing and recovery.
Take care!
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I can relate to what you are saying ….I’m in the same situation. Oh the pain we have endured. No one will be text book 100% this or that on everything….but I think you have possibly minimised the way you were devalued in the relationship, in my experience. Altho our narcs would not leave the relationship….that does not mean they are not narcs.
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Thankyou I have been struggling for years to find written material on this subject. This is the best I have read so far! I have a predator narcissist for last 15 yrs. I too have my own issues from a violent home. I have been strong enough to cope but it’s not what I’m look for in a wholesome relationship. All I can do for Him is pray and for my protection Amen ty Jesus!!
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Thank you for this insight, it confirmed my suspicion.
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I’m in it…. it’s so hard to leave even though it’s killing me
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Please pray for the people in your lives that exhibit this behavior. Attacking them back, even simple name calling, does more to damage you and does nothing to them. I know this from personal experience with my mom. She is very emotionally abusive when she doesnt get here way and attempts to put all the blame on the other person. Somehow it is my fault she stormed out of the hospital on me. Fortunately, I was prepared based on 35 years of her shenanigans. Its a process, but prayer for the other and yourself will bring about personal healing. No gurantees on them changing but I will keep praying for her and everyone who deals with similar people.
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I found these narcissistic people in congregations running the scene. Getting they want ~ appreciation from the people. When someone stand up against their control ~ They causing ~ havock \arguments \ disruption \ even distroy the whole congregation ~ Be Aware keep your eyes and ears open .They using forgiveness Love and the whole Belief to get what they want
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You’re right. I also found narcissistic people in the congregations too. My first husband was narcissistic. So was his father. His father was the Bishop, and my husband was the 1st Counselor to the Young Men’s Presidency. This particular personality disorder seeks after praise. So being in a position where people will “praise them” is something they will go to extreme lengths to accomplish. They need it to feel ‘whole.’ Both of those men did everything you described. My husband was busy trying to seduce all the other married women in the congregation while we were married. He always used “forgiveness” and “unconditional love” and so many other religious ideas to manipulate me into taking him back after the abuse episodes and the affairs. This type of personality type have no intention of changing when they ask for forgiveness. They only want the victim to stop complaining about it and to let them do it again and worse than before. So beware when you forgive and forget what a NPD person has done to you.
Give them another chance at your own peril!
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Liveing w/one now& yeh he made himself look like a God loveing family man.8 yrs later sooo many truths between him & his kids came when i asked God to highlight truths to me even if its not what i wanted to hear. I got beauty for ashes even if it was hard. What sucks is how many more will have to hear the b.s.about how he knows how it is to be hurt by someone as he’ll tell his story & how thats all the more reason why he wouldnt do that to the next unlucky one . watch out girls their growing in numbers!!!
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Where can the victim find help and move past the betrayal? I completely devoted my life to his dreams, believing it was what a good wife did. I struggled to rebuild my life after he divorced me and 10 years later, still single, let him back in, believing he would divorce his new wife and remarry me. For 3 years he played me for a fool, finally divorcing his wife when he left me again, this time for a woman half hid age. Only now do I know what he was and there was nothing I could do. How can I ever trust another man? How can I heal from the complete devastation of my love and trust?
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Sorry.
Can a narcissist believe in God?
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I was married twice to two different narcissists both of whom I divorced. They both were in the priesthood of the Mormon church. They both professed to believe in God. Whether they believe or don’t believe is not part of the criteria for this personality disorder. However people who have Narcissistic Personality Disorder who do profess to belief sometimes gravitate towards religious environments because they are looking for empathetic, compassionate and forgiving people who will overlook their bad behavior. Any church has members who are good people who are trying to be better. So narcissists are naturally attracted to that environment because they find a larger group of people they can manipulate and use easily.
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Can a narcissist believe in Go
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I was traveling to for entertaining variables toward do in just Philadelphia and observed your report upon the rum punch bar. Appears to be astounding! I’m definetely shifting towards observe it out!
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I now know and feel ashamed to say I’m a victim to a friend who is a narcissus covert.I’m a man of 55 years old.This so called friend has taken advaged by making me move into the same block of flats as he lives,in wanted to move to the first flat I saw yet he persuaded me to take the flat that I didn’t want.when I moved in he made it clear that I should not talk to anyone especially my new naibour as they are all trouble makers,because of I’ll health I did everything he told me to.he made me go to places even though he new I have health problems and always had an excuse why he couldn’t pay for the most expensive meals on the menus so he had his meals and I had a bottle of water,this went on for weeks and all the time my health got worse.He certainly knew how to manipulate me.He started to ask for money because he was so much in debt help started to hound me making me feel as though I was loosing the plot so I told him I would pay him for doing some odd jobs for me like pay bills it ended up me paying his bills and still wanted me to pay him for doing this for me,I started to question him about his life style then I would get phone calls from him I mean crazy calls making think I was the problem of all his problems.he then would come to my flat acting charming then I had to keep fighting him off from trying to pull my clothes off me saying he wants sex.I didn’t give in but he talked me into a few times giving him £300 twice this happened he and his threats were getting worse he asked for my cash card,because he made a good job making me think everything was my fault.now I’ve paid for his Spanish holiday.Now he’s like a madman he’s destroying my life with lies deception and telling people about things in my life that are private and confidential stuff on my health he’s alienated me from all people I know making people think he’s the victim now he’s speaking to my neighbour who he hates getting people who will back him up.I asked my naibour when he speaks to Bobby anything Bobby says about me can he just keep an open mind to what he says about me. I’ve phoned Bobby a few times to say sorry then realising I’ve nothing to say sorry for.I told my healthcare workers about what is going on because we both go to the same hospital.now as he is getting worse with his threats someone told me look up narcissus on the Web. So freaked out everything it says on the covert vindictive narcissus is word for word true.I feel totally ashamed to admit that I’ve become a victim of a covert vindictive narcissus right from the start all the warning sighns were there for me to see I’m now a broken man with no one to tern to for help knowing Bobby hasn’t by far finished with destroying me now I’m alienated by everyone.
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It would be interesting to know what personality traits the victim in a Narcissistic marriage ends up birthing. Who does the victim become. Will the victim (me) have any means of a purpose filled life. How will I find peace and happiness?
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I would just like to say some of us has really experienced being around this behavior and by me reading articles such as this brings healing to the soul and l truly do thank you. This was a great read and. God bless.
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I just would like to say this is a great read. It has cleared and freed me of this insidious evil behavior. I have experience having a parent that has these behaviors. Thank you
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I am the mother of a forty-two-year-old narcissistic son I am just trying to get over an episode with him I am the mother of a forty-two-year-old narcissist son I am just trying to recover from an episode with him where he told me that he didn’t even like me and I irritated him to death and it was all over nothing and now I’m so stressed and upset I can’t eat or sleep how can I recover from this?
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I have a 29yo son..and he exhibits alot of these traits..his dad was too. I try and distance myself from him as much as possible. I notice I’m exhausted after talking with him..his arrogance and selfishness…its disgusting. Thank God he doesn’t live with me. I told him he should never marry or have children..he’s too selfish. He agreed..doesn’t want to get married.
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Oh wow…
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Was an amazing study….in two weeks of meeting a full blown narcissist that has all the above issues and I exsperienced all the above…I saw it unfold real fast cause i as excop saw his tactics each time and heard the words of trying to devalue intense then the discard…I saw it all and your study was confirmation….persons of this are dangerous. …also looking at this very important topic for inner heart search cause living here and have had childhood issues I have to learn of my own errors and acknowledge them bring them to the father and ask for help…the world can rub off on you and effect u in ways you never thought to look….the spirit of narcissistic is strong and it attacks poor to rich it dosent discriminate…alot to learn recognize remember here…I have shared it with a sister…its a need to know thank you so much for your hard work on this..I believe it can save life’s physical and spiritually. .
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Jesus said he will come and divide. A house of 5, 3, and two, two and three. The believer from the unbeliever. Do not be unevenly yoked. Not in marriage, not in friendships, and not in family. No contact. A narc does not love!!! A Walking, talking corpse. Wasting your time. Setting up for narc abuse. We are living in the end days. Their punishment is coming soon. God will avenge us from this evil. These ppl are our tribulation. They harm children. Hate them. They hate anybody not like them. Destroy them w their warped thinking. If the g.parents a narc..so is one of the children. Maybe not your husband….one of his siblings.
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How can they be forgiven if they have no soul? A dog has no soul, but still can adhere to right and wrong. Has love. Did god not seal their fate, by giving them over to reprobate mind? Without a soul, are you not evil. Satan was a narcissist. Did god say to hate all evil? These ppl can kill you. I feel they are sent by satan. To test your faith. Some victims become co dependent narcs. Im surrounded by them. My workplace, the thing my dad married, any man i meet. My friends i thought were friends. Friend w stockholm syndrome and a narcissist. The Jezebel, Ahab demons. So forgive them of their evil? They kill rob destroy like their father, satan. They rejected god by turning off their feelings. They had me at one point wanting to commit suicide. I cant win by not being able to escape them. I have no one except my youngest daughter. Siblings are mentally ill. I have to worry my “best friend” who decieved me to come live in my state for relationship is going to stalk me, damage my car. The train station for him to leave is next to where i live. Ronald Broadstone from fla. .and chicago. Has no license/car….40 miles from me..mooching off his cousin after discarding me two weeks in. Destroyed all oportunity to get work and a license…because i was helping him. Angry flip outs. Wants to play the pathetic loser for sympathy. Said he wanted a woman he can control in an angry aggressive tantrum. I feel he lusts after his cousin. He would always say she will kick your ass. A person who does not know me will do his bidding. They hate intimacy. Spying on her having sex w her boyfriend. Broadcasts it. As they love to gossip. Forgiveness for this evil…no! Pray against them. His next trick to say i made him come here and abandoned him. His cousin said he had to leave at a certain date. He will most likely sit at the bowling alley w his belongings. Give his next target a sob story. An unwittingly flying monkey will feel sorry for him. I was that flying monkey too, when he went to live w a woman from online. Said he didnt want to be with her from the beginning. Tortured her for four years. Judgement day cannot come soon enough. These relationship frauds, deceivers. Deserve hell. Gods wrath they receive during tribulation. Even god tells us who deserves hell. To say it agrees w his word.
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Everything everything you say is so true and we have to stay strong because they ARE THE ONES THAT ARE WEAK AND PATHETIC…… AND SOMEDAY SOON I PRAY THAT THE LORD WILL SEEK THEM OUT AND LET THEM PAY FOR EVERYTHING THEY HAVE DONE TO US….I would love to take my own revenge. They make us think it’s us….we are the ones that are crazy Telling everyone that will listen…AND SHAME ON THEM TOO…!!! We are good people with amazing hearts and I wish I could say that some day they would be sorry…but they won’t …because they never cared to begin with….every step they take is planned, every move they make is planned….
They will never be sorry because they are heartless and soulless….
Our only way to seek revenge is to BE STRONG AND LIVE A HAPPY LIFE…
That within it self will kill them…destroy them….like they TRIED to do to us..!!!!
We have to be strong together and pray for everyone who is or was ever involved with these monsters…..
LOVE TO ALL…
Philly
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Ok. So should you pray to God to change your heart to understand these heathens are no good so you can move on? Is that how you start the moving on process?
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I hanve spent the past year and a half observing and keeping record of my sisters behaviour towards me, since she moved back into the house where my parents, eldest brother who is a bully, and myself live.
I was unsuspecting that it was my sister that was secretly sabotaging all my relationships with my family members and friends, infact anyone who showed an interest and a liking towards me. I was always the girl everybody loved and got along with.
There were always instances inbetween where she openly displayed her true feelings towards me and I knew how she felt towards me but never could tell anyone because she always maintained this image of someone who can’t hurt a fly…. Meanwhile, me, who spent more time with her than anyone else, knew her true colours.
I have observed and figured all this out through my own experience and determination to find Truth.
Thank you for this write-up. It was my message from God reassuring me that I am not imagining these fears I have. Its not paranoa. But I will say this, now that I know, I’m not afraid anymore.
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My sister always sabotaged me too..all my life! Thankfully she lives out of the country and I no longer have any interaction with her. Thank God!
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I don’t know how to explain the complications my sister had after divorcing a man that was above everyone else, abusive, quick tempered etc.. She was tormented by him and everytime she turned around he had her in court on something false, he tormented her for 11 years especially during hours of the night. He told his son before he returned him home for the weekend that somebody was coming in during the night to kill his mother and her dog when he was about 6 years old. he tortured my sister {mentally} and when the son turned 13 he took her to court to get custody because she was mentally unable to take care of her son. This man drove her to anxiety attacks, nervous breakdowns and nothing could be done in the courts, he lied, he did unimaginable things to her vehicle and the police would not do anything. Back in August of 2016 she diagnosed with cancer. The drs. could not see what kind she had until a catscan in Oct 2 months later. For years she suffered with much pain, but no special tests was done until then. It was a metastic sarcoma, a fast moving cancer, unknown where it started. She saw oncologists and questioned them if stress could caused this, knowing how much she was going through. Their answers were a possibly. They explained when the body is under much stress the immune system then gets low and we all have a cancer in us and more than likely it activated the cancer cells. On Oct. 27,2016 my sister passed away. This man had the nerve to buy a flower blanket for her casket with “WIFE” on it. He has since taken many of her personal items and made a shrine in his home for her. This is a woman that he would not let go of and now has his son with the same behavior as he.I don’t understand how someone with this personality could do such things and not realize that he has an unhealthy mind?
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Is it possible for a person to be a partial
narcissist ? Meaning— have some narcissistic qualities– but capable of truly caring for someone ?
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No…sorry but no…they don’t care about anyone but themselves and their next supply..
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Yes, it is. There is a spectrum of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Someone can have narcissistic behaviors, which is mild narcissistic qualities but not actually have the personality disorder. Some people have it to the extreme and are on the high end of the spectrum and can be diagnosed with the personality disorder.
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As a therapist and victim of narcissistic abuse, I found this post to be the most apt description of the internal motivation of such profoundly ill and unrepentant individuals as well as the soul murdering exploitation that results from interaction with necessary, masked godlessness. Beware, their inhumanity cannot be paralled to any other experience.
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Thank you for your comment! It gives validation to what I’ve been dealing with. Seeing a therapist who was also a victim of this abuse at least is comforting in a sad sort of way to see that even the best of us who are well educated on the subject sometimes become a victim of this sort of behavior. That’s the reality of how good someone with NPD is at deception and manipulation. It’s terrible, but an absolute fact. Sometimes narcissists’ masks are so good that they don’t reveal themselves right away even to therapists at first glance!
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Amazing. This describes my husband almost to a “t”. Took me almost 25 years to realize it was narcissistic behaviour. I just thought he was lazy by nature and that is why I had to work harder than him to maintain the home and our relationship. Only just finding out that’s not how marriage should be
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I never understood why victims of abuse tend to go back to the abuse until I became one myself. I fight daily not to go back, like a moth to the bugzapper, hopelessly addicted. We should all be taught in school regarding these people so we do not get caught in their web of deception. I made the mistake of correcting this person who then went into a secret narcissistic rage since I did not know at that time what a narcissist does, and it became her mission to utterly destroy me. It only took 5 to 6 months to completely decimate me. Last week I talked to the person (7 mo later) who picked up on a weakness in me just by the tone in my voice. Then she came at me fast and hard attempting to make me feel guilty and ashamed, and once again I had to completely pull away. There is no, and I mean no contact that can be made no matter how innocent it appears!!! They are master manipulators and if you make them mad, they will become obsessed with your destruction and smile to your face. I cannot comprehend how they smile and ACT like your best friend, while secretly obliterating your self esteem and everything you are. I would be literally dead if other friends did not notice my zombie like behavior, sitting and staring into space dead inside, and pulled me out. Thank God for real friends! And, you cannot tell anyone. They are soooo smooth, you will look like the bad guy. No one will believe it unless they experience it themselves or know you real well. They cover all bases, so it always appears to be your fault. The only way I found out was that she did it to my other friend as well and we compared notes one day, and realized it is not our fault. It is her!!! I have to continually tell myself, there is nothing I need from her. There is nothing she has to offer me!!! Stay Away!! Do not go back!!! It will never change.
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Yes I do not understand why I feel the pull to run back, literally run back when I know how what he is now, I don’t get the draw, like a drug, you want that person, you miss that person, what is wrong with me to miss such a mean hearted 2 face person, I’m disgusted with myself for being sad, I’m the one who walked away finally. Yet I’m the one that is hurt an sad, an embarrassmed, it makes no sense, I know I sound confusing, I just can’t wrap my head around the way a NARCISSIST thinks an acts, cause just when you think its good your all confused again
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You feel this way because in the beginning of the relationship you were “lovebombed.” Narcissists go out of their way to convince their victims in the beginning that they are adored by them. That they are “soulmates” and they have to be together. They drive the relationship forward with their over the top attention and hunting of their victim. This causes massive confusion in the victim when the Narcissist suddenly starts to devalue them and ultimately discard them like garbage. You sit there asking where all the love went. How could they do this to you? Didn’t you mean anything to them? The truth is… they were lying all along so they could use you. I know it’s terrible, I know it’s painful. I know it hurts to believe that because their initial act was so believable.
I fell for it too…. twice. I married one narcissist who did that to me. Divorced him and then married another, only to find out the second one was worst than the first.
You’re not alone. You’re not the first. You won’t be the last either. People with this personality disorder spend their life deceiving people into believing that they matter to them when they really just want to use them to their own selfish ends.
Sorry Sherrill, you got used. Just like I did and so many other people out there. I finally had to face that my past ex’s were sick in the mind so I could deal with both of them in a healthy way. When you start characterizing their behaviors as no longer “love or hate” but rather as mentally unstable actions of an irrational person who needs therapy – it’ll be easier to heal from the damage they created.
The good news is – you get to walk away and not have to deal with them anymore. They unfortunately have to live with themselves everyday, forever. They got the life sentence with their “cRaZy.” You get to move on and get over it. Count your blessings you got out alive. Some narc’s kill their victims. They’re usually vicious physical and sexual abusers too.
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Great article.thank u!😇
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