It is all about that interchangeable MASK, façade, and personality so a Narcissist can become ANYTHING and ANYONE they want to be, to get WHAT they want.
It is all about that interchangeable MASK, façade, and personality so a Narcissist can become ANYTHING and ANYONE they want to be, to get WHAT they want. They are NOT real – they are the great pretenders’ and manipulators that are only a collection of traits that they harvested from other people throughout their life. They process and then assimilate what they need to be into a façade to manipulate their supply to GET what they want. It is about ‘wants and needs,’ THEIR wants and THEIR needs ONLY!
From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist
Nobody is attracted to or lured into any type of relationship by anyone that exhibits abusive behavior; they are tricked and then trapped into that abusive and destructive behavior by a predator (Narcissist.) If a Narcissist would attack your self-confidence on the first meeting, then the Narcissist would lose their prey – YES THEY ARE PREDATORS that wear MANY masks and facades. A relationship with a Narcissist is about control and power. Within that control and power is an arsenal of tools they use to abuse you (us.) The Narcissist uses you for whatever purpose they want or basically to satisfy all their needs. Be it sex, money, a mask of normalcy because you are an exceptionally good person, or your generosity they are right there grabbing what they can get.
The Narcissist is an EXTREME egotist that denies the truth of their dysfunctional and repulsive world to themselves and cleverly hide it by the means of a false reflection or mask to pathologically fool or snare us into their grasp. The more the Narcissist can successfully ‘seduce’ others and convince them that they are loved or liked the more bounty (supply) for the Narcissist. They are self-created, or better yet, self-de-created, and then FALSELY re-created. What is re-created is not a self, but a reflection or ‘FUNCTIONAL” copy of a working image of a human being. It is a compilation of observations the Narcissist has made from watching people and mirroring what he/she learns and then projects it all back to them – imitating their good qualities, likes/dislikes, everything, and anything ESPECIALLY caring or love to draw us into their web of deceit. They really bring home the definition of ‘having something in common’ with people. They MORPH into having EVERYTHING in common with us because they want/need what we have! We ARE the next target in a long line of victims because it is our turn to supply them.
Unfortunately, we believed it was a real bond with them, one that was created with care or love – be it a wife, husband, partner, mother, father, brother, sister, or friend. As harsh as this definition will sound as it concerns our involvement with a Narcissist, it IS the biggest lie, manipulation, betrayal, extortion, and destruction we will ever experience in our lives. It is abuse at the hands of a very disordered personality, one that will look you straight in the eyes and state that they care or love you, but they have the proverbial knife to your back to control you AND ready at any time they decide to stab and harm you and even destroy you for no reason other than an association you have with them be it a family bond or an association by chance. The truth is that ANY association with them for ANY length of time and for ANY reason is toxic and poisonous and they will do some sort of damage to your life or well-being. NOTHING is ever right with a Narcissist because we are only functional objects to them that serve only one purpose – fulfilling their needs for the time being.
The habit of treating a human being or a person as a means to an end is utilitarian (to satisfy a need or fulfill an AGENDA) and fundamentally an inhumane or a pathological and perverted manipulation of our basic human rights. The Narcissist is feeding their endless ‘depravity void’ through injustice by his/her regard for others as mere instruments of the Narcissist’s own gratification. The closer the association to a Narcissist the more pathological the Narcissist becomes, and the more emotional and psychological damage done to the target/victim. Their needs are far more than just extorting basic life and biological needs – it is their psychological needs that cause the most damage to their target/victim. It is their need to control and gain dominance or power over other people that damages and destroys them AND at any cost.
So again, it is a trap that Narcissists use to attract new victims and make them feel wanted, cared for, a friend, loved and safe. If this behavior were genuine and consistent, Narcissists would be perfect partners. Unfortunately, it’s not. The flattery, care, friendship, attention, affection, sex, and sensuality, gifts, promises of commitment all constitute the Narcissists bait to trap you into providing them with Narcissistic supply.
So ultimately the Narcissist wants nothing less than to control and get everything they can from you and then leave you a shell of the person you once were – THAT is what is hidden behind the mask and facade. They only lured you into their web of deceit to poison your mind so that they could disable you psychologically. This enabled them to control you with their psychopathic bond. It is within that bond that you risk the chance of losing everything and anything you hold dear to you – and most importantly who you are. They are BASICALLY human with most of the same biological needs like eating, breathing and sexuality – but when it comes to mental functions, their thoughts are seriously delusional and they seem to have a battle that rages in their head to seriously harm people that care or love them as if they loathe all people and need to destroy them one by one. There are no internal mechanisms that allow them to bond with people beyond fulfilling those needs. No/minimal contact to remove them completely from your life. Greg