A little extra for today: Narcissists are completely amoral or just numb to the existence of morality as far as their so-called and all important FAUX integrity they proclaim to have because all of their life is based solely on what the Narcissist wants so there are no rules or laws they abide by. It is like a cantankerous, irrational three-year-old child throwing a tantrum for something they want and want NOW. The Narcissist never gives up the argument or the lie. That Narcissist is standing there in front of you to win. If you engage the Narcissist, he/she will pull you down to their level. Keep engaging in an argument with a Narcissist and he/she brings it down to another level, and another level AND to a level lower than you care to stoop to, so you just stop then and there because it is just futile to go on anymore. The Narcissist has no self-respect, and behaving this way is not beneath them.
From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist
Now you are standing in front of them and they look like big boys and girls (adults) but they are dragging you back to your days at the playground and if you don’t play exactly the way they want you to play “make believe” they will throw you off of the merry-go-round. I learned this early on to disengage with my Narcissist or an argument could go on for days AND this Narcissist would easily resort to making fun of me or whatever it took to take me down. It is control pure and simple. Clinically we get here and engage in their fantasy world because it is like having a fairy Godmother/father that appears one day with their magic wand and gives us unbounding love (love bombing actually.) The Narcissists play world and castle then starts to crumble and we try to duck and protect ourselves to avoid the fallout and we get devalued and discarded for doing so.
In all honesty a Narcissist only has the mentality of a playground bully. They incorporate other kids that are weaker and smaller than them with threats to join in on their imaginary games or else. There will always be someone that asserts their individuality in the playground and that Narcissist will gang up on and harm whomever with the help of their little gang. Be assured you will be run off that playground just for being you and not buying into the Narcissistic bullying, dysfunction and games. You may even get the Narcissist’s Mommy knocking at your door and really get in trouble.
But no matter how big a lie or how big a fit the Narcissist throws if you allow it you are enabling the narcissist’s lies and that is a huge mistake no matter what the cost is to you otherwise. It facilitates the Narcissist’s delusions, and it gives them a power rush and CONTROL. Thus the Narcissists is cramming his/her delusion through insults to your intelligence down your throat. You are spoiling that Narcissistic brat/bully and allowing the monster to grow and take over completely. Unfortunately, people make this mistake because of the Narcissist’s GOOD qualities that preempted the appearance of this raging bully. Greg