A Narcissist is a trainwreck and disaster waiting to happen – they will derail everyone’s life they have any association with!
A Narcissist is a trainwreck and disaster waiting to happen – they will derail everyone’s life they have any association with! Narcissists are insecure, envious, and malicious so much so that they are ALWAYS on the defensive with their MANY facades because they must look normal enough to fit into OUR world, so they put up a HUGE wall to protect it. They MUST control their environment especially IN PUBLIC because they KNOW what they are, and they MUST protect themselves from being exposed as the abuser they are!
From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist.
They are ALWAYS ahead of the game because they must be! A Narcissist has been betraying you all along with backstabbing and triangulation to constantly be in control. They do this for various reasons but basically to divide and conquer as well as to destroy the victims they abuse by discrediting them FIRST.
So, the TRUTH and the real lesson about a Narcissist: Again the Narcissist creates the grand illusion of a “special bond” or “love” for those whom he/she finds most useful at any given moment. This interprets as those who enhance his/her reputation, or help him/her lure or procure other sexual partners, or offer him/her money, property, status, etc. For those unlucky individuals that the Narcissists fosters a relationship with it is really to isolate and target us for the time being to drain us of whatever it is that Narcissist is after, and they hoard over (isolate) us until they have gotten all they can get. Everyone who sees through the Narcissist’s mask of insanity or exposes his/her lies becomes an “enemy” in the Narcissist’s eyes, and therefore a target of his/her hatred and will be devalued and destroyed!
Their life boils down to an accumulation of targets/victims, sexual partners, and whatever property gains they manage to extort. As many spouses know Narcissists will have children with them as well, and sometimes children to other spouses or partners. It is sort of like a collection of human beings for the Narcissist or better yet objects that have no emotional depth or the chance of a worthwhile life with this Narcissist acting like a real parent. Malignant Narcissist are so heartless and callous that they reject their own children once they devalue and discard the target/victim spouse. BUT they will portray themselves as the BETTER spouse that is a complete care giver to these children, often taking credit for things the abused spouse has done.
So, the truth here is that their abuse is absolute and fundamental to the Narcissist’s survival in the real world. The Narcissist cannot change and, most importantly, they DON’T want to change. They inhabit a fantasy world which becomes reality for them and those they manage to brainwash. There is no reality or truth for any person that resides in their world. It is a train wreck waiting to happen and there are always many victims. In their world the truth and falsehood only hold a weak instrumental meaning as they apply it to any situation and there is absolutely no morality contained in any of their thoughts or actions.
We must imprint this message in our minds that at the core of the Narcissist’s psychopathy is a mindset governed by their grandiosity, lack of empathy for others, and a grand sense of entitlement and superiority that places them above laws and morality. The Narcissist grossly overestimates their abilities and accomplishments and underestimates the complete being of their target/victim. Simply put, the Narcissist should be able to do anything they wish, however harmful and destructive, because the Narcissist is better than others. In the Narcissist’s mind, by making us a part of their wonderful life by mere association with them, he/she passes on to us this grandiosity as if they are royalty and that is our reward. It is ridiculous and repulsive that they can believe this nonsense and more akin to pompousness and arrogance. There is only one way with a Narcissist – their way and we must reject that and get as far away from them as we can or be pulled down deeper and deeper into their psychopathy to the point that it can drive us to the point of disparity or insanity. No/minimal contact to BREAK the cycle of their abuse always. Knowledge and education about this abuse is imperative to starting on your road to recovery! Greg