It is ALWAYS about ME and ONLY me – or what is at the core of the Narcissists reality! The Narcissist is an EXTREME egomaniac – and feels so deserving of everything in life – this is the totality of their infliction and what makes them a Narcissist because nothing else matters in their world except for their every need – AND they seriously do not care who they HARM in the process.
It is ALWAYS about ME and ONLY me – or what is at the core of the Narcissists reality! The Narcissist is an EXTREME egomaniac – and feels so deserving of everything in life – this is the totality of their infliction and what makes them a Narcissist because nothing else matters in their world except for their every need – AND they seriously do not care who they HARM in the process. We are all steppingstones that they walk on and over to get what they want. ONCE we understand this and internalize this, we must NEVER engage with them or look back at them as anything but the predatory and destructive con-artist that they really are.
From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist
They feel that they are BETTER than everybody and deserving of EVRYTHING they want in life and they will take it no matter if they abuse people or break the law to do so and they just do not care. They act as if they are royalty in life and feel above and even insulted by any unworthy subjects – like YOU and I expecting his/her majesty’s affirmation or attention – we are there to serve. It is all part of the fictional novel going on in the Narcissist’s childish mind, that magnanimous work of fiction about themselves in which he/she is the star of a great masterpiece all about themselves.
Little children do the same thing in their play fantasies, but THEY eventually grow up and deal in reality. The Narcissist totally IDENTIFIES with the fictional character that he/she creates in that mirror that is you and me. WE have a bit part in this show as a character (one of many) that exists to reflect the Narcissist’s greatness through our interactions with them period. They will always share how amazing they are and how they have so many friends, how their family and children love them, etc. BUT in reality, what they share are usually bits and pieces of tiny truths that are ALWAYS the direct opposite. Their immediate family eventually rejects their hideous actions or perversions that they have inflicted on them, but it is always somebody else’s fault. Everybody else picks up the slack for these creatures like raising a family, paying the bills and keeping up the real responsibilities in life. The real relationship with them is no give and all take but never care or love, it is all about serving the Narcissist – the rest is their fictional story that you believe that locked you into what you believed was a relationship. In time you realized the truth when their words and actions never backed up the façade, they personally created for you.
You will fall out of grace when your eyes reflect the disdain of their lies and manipulation, and you will enter a battle with them where they will destroy you for making them face the reality of who they really are. They will just run off after they have destroyed your integrity and start up a new life of abuse with someone else. Yet, deep down inside, the Narcissist is aware that their life is a sham, and they are vulnerable as far as being exposed and that is what they fear. They are always a step or ten ahead of the game and have gathered up every bit of personal information they can use against you to destroy your integrity so that your voice becomes weak and unheard when you start to speak out. Their out-of-control life is a constant reminder of how unstable their amazing world is AND how weak and feeble they really are! Clinically this is described as the Narcissist’s Grandiosity Gap – or in other words they are gift wrapped box that is EMPTY inside when you unwrap it.
The Narcissist can pretend to know everything, in every field of the human condition and they are seamless with all the knowledge that spills out. Again, they are all confabulations and lies that the Narcissist prevaricates to avoid the exposure of their real ignorance AND their dark world they MUST hide. Their knowledge and experience are just copycat information that has no basis of reality or is earned through realistic education, goals, hard work, relationship bonding, human compassion, real love, or anything else. AGAIN – they have no reality to back it up or empathy to understand life at any level! The Narcissist resorts to numerous prefabricated ‘imitations of life’ to support their God-like omnipotence. What goes on in the shadows is what really defines them and exists in their REAL world, and that is their vast neediness and out-of-control lifestyle that betrays all of life and love. You can take the power away from the Narcissist by removing yourself from their diabolical and delusional world and stop supplying them with your life. Start with no/minimal contact! Greg