SHUT, NO SLAM THAT DOOR COMPLETELY: A Narcissist will NEVER come back in good faith, changed, or because they care or love us – NO they still see potential supply from us.
SHUT, NO SLAM THAT DOOR COMPLETELY: A Narcissist will NEVER come back in good faith, changed, or because they care or love us – NO they still see potential supply from us. JUST SAY NO! Probably one of the most confusing and difficult things we all face when being involved with a Narcissist, is the crazy making ‘painful’ cycles of breaking up, followed by the HIGH’s of making up. Unfortunately, it is an inevitable process that comes along with being involved in a Narcissistic Relationship!
From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist
Many targets/victims always get caught up with the chaos and hurt of the Narcissist leaving you, only to return to the relationship? So, the big question of WHY and WHAT would possess a Narcissist to hurt you so deeply, only to come back on bended knee, and beg for forgiveness? ALSO why does a Narcissist spend so much time trying to convince you to give them another chance, only to revert to their cruel and abusive ways after they realize you have forgiven them ONCE again recommitted to them? Furthermore, how can a Narcissist change like the weather AND not show ANY shame or remorse?
The reality is that most victims want to believe this behavior is based upon the Narcissists real and genuine desire of wanting to be with them and wanting the relationship to work! The sad truth is that a Narcissist only returns to the relationship to get a quick fix of supply, drama, chaos, or whatever serves them to keep CONTROL over you and to feed their addiction to constant supply.
It will resemble the ‘love bombing’ we experienced in the beginning of the relationship where the Narcissist puts on a great act and uses their best performance to lure you back in and win you over! BUT almost immediately you will notice a drastic change in the Narcissist’s behavior again, and you will be reliving the cycles of abuse again or the idealization and devaluation stages! This becomes an ongoing process that continues, even during the breakup stages! It is insanity for sure because it will never change until the Narcissist moves on to new supply!
So basically, once you validate the Narcissist AGAIN by responding to him/her in any way, shape or form, The Narcissist has got his/her hold on you as well as a fix and the Narcissist will just move on to the next and the next best fix or high. Finding supply is just an ongoing thing with Narcissist because they need it like we need oxygen and there is no limit to who or what they use for supply. BUT remember this if you remember anything, you are not anything to them no matter how much you love them or believe they love you! You are only one optional source of supply that they invested in for a certain period of time.
This is the VERY reason that targets/victims MUST remember that while we may feel some source of relief or renewed security by the Narcissist’s change of heart, the minute you take them back, and the minute the Narcissist realizes that they have you again, they will immediately revert back to their old cruel behavior and abusive agenda. You must accept that it IS psychological abuse with all their mental mind games, and the ONLY reason a Narcissist continues to come back is to ensure that they still have you right where they want you and to fill in the blanks as it concerns having a constant source of supply!
ALSO, when a Narcissist is experiencing withdrawal from not having enough Narcissistic Supply they will immediately go into the pursuit mode coming back with the goal of winning you over once again – but they are only recycling us until they secure new supply again. A Narcissist does not and cannot be alone, they constantly need supply or someone to validate them. NO contact and always keep it that way! Greg