ALL OF THOSE LIES and that is what this relationship was all about!
ALL OF THOSE LIES and that is what this relationship was all about! You will never be able to conjure up a conceivable motive for why they lie as they do. If they are breathing, they are lying – and you can count on the fact that it is to always benefit THEM or to protect THEM from other lies and indiscretions, or to weasel their way out of a bad situation, OR into a situation that serves THEM! Finding our way through the dense fog of this abuse with knowledge, education, and clarity. Narcissists will say ANYTHING so basically you can count on it all being LIES and there is ALWAYS an agenda behind those lies that benefits THEM! They lie in Technicolor with a wide spectrum from simple or nonsense lies to the outrageous, obnoxious, and perverted or the wildest lies conceivable.
From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist
Narcissists lie gratuitously, about matters great and small (and everything else in between). Their lies are the substance that they invent their false mask or shield from that hide their dark and secret disorder. So, the Narcissist creates a special person just for each of us, BUT really it is created to pull us into their world to fulfill their NEEDY agenda and control. They decide what rights you will have, what they want you see, and what they want you to hear, and especially what they want you to know. THEN they embellish it all with brightly colored wrapping paper and a big beautiful bow and a gift tag with our name on it and a “Love always – Your Narcissist – XOXOXO !” Unfortunately, when you start unwrapping that present you find that it is just an empty box.
So within this grand illusion that they create and live in, they won’t hesitate to say that black is white or square is round and you are expected to believe them. They will lie to you about facts they know that you know. They lie to you about what you have said and done, even if you said or did it only a few seconds ago and know the truth. They lie to you about what they have said and done in your very presence. If they are breathing, they are lying!
Being amoral or just numb to the existence of morality as far as their integrity goes is based solely on what the Narcissist wants. It is like a cantankerous, irrational three-year-old child throwing a tantrum. The Narcissist never gives up the argument. That Narcissist is standing there in front of you to win. If you engage the Narcissist, he/she will pull you down to their level. Keep engaging in an argument with a Narcissist and he/she brings it down to another level, and another level AND to a level lower than you care to stoop to, so you just stop then and there because it is just futile to go on anymore. The Narcissist has no self-respect, and behaving this way is not beneath them.
Now you are standing in front of them, and they look like big boys and girls (adults) but they are dragging you back to your days at the playground and if you don’t play exactly the way they want you to play “make believe” they will throw you off of the merry-go-round.
So, the Narcissist needs people to feed their Narcissistic Supply. But he/she refuses to create or associate with any person in an emotionally meaningful way. The Narcissist lacks the needed skills – or real EMPATHY – which is required to connect to obtain his/her drug (supply), so they make it up as they go. The very people who are supposed to sustain the Narcissists grandiose fantasies through their adoration and attention will always find the Narcissist repulsive and too dangerous to interact with after the truth becomes apparent that love and life with a Narcissist is one big lie. No/Minimal contact to stop the chaos and crazy making that their lies create within our time with them. Greg