‘THEIR WORDS.’ ‘Their words’ are NOT used to communicate, they are used to manipulate, diminish, and control people. Again – and worth repeating – ‘their WORDS’ are only used to manipulate and control people. ‘Their words’ are always lies that are used as weapons to harm people. ‘Their words’ have NO basis of reality except to fulfill their agenda and one that ALWAYS benefits THEM. Do not allow them to use ‘their WORDS’ to poison you.
THEIR WORDS. ‘Their words’ are NOT used to communicate, they are used to manipulate, diminish, and control people. Again – and worth repeating – ‘their WORDS’ are only used to manipulate and control people. ‘Their words’ are always lies that are used as weapons to harm people. ‘Their words’ have NO basis of reality except to fulfill their agenda and one that ALWAYS benefits THEM. Do not allow them to use ‘their WORDS’ to poison you.
From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist
Narcissistic BABBLE, and their blah, blah, blah – or circular conversations, double talk, and word salads – just trickery, manipulation, diversion, and lies to create chaos – what else is new with a Narcissist – BUT these are dangerous emotional and psychological tools they use to diminish their target/victims. KOWLEDGE is power in understanding ENDING this abuse!
Narcissists are pathological hypocrites! They pretend to have morals and empathy, but they have NONE. Behind closed doors they are emotional abusers that demean, lie, silence, betray, and purposely harm the very people that care/love them. They believe all of that is OK and they can do whatever they want without reprise. They have standards and rules for everybody else, but do NOT abide by any of them OR practice what they preach! Make them accountable and you will be attacked and destroyed!
Skilled manipulative Narcissists intentionally use vagueness and ambiguity as a deflection so they can accuse YOU of misinterpreting what THEY said or did. This creates confusion, discredits the victim, and creates an avenue for the Narcissist to always evade responsibility from what they have said or done. Just another tool to gaslight, manipulate, and con their victims!
So, let’s start with the truth first – Narcissists use MANY deceptive and manipulative tools that are absolute and fundamental to the Narcissist’s survival in the real world – in other words everything is a manipulation of real facts to serve their agenda, opinions and actions – and the way it is conveyed is THROUGH THEIR WORDS. The Narcissist can’t change and, most importantly, they DON’T want to change. They inhabit a fantasy world which becomes reality for them and those they manage to brainwash. There is no reality or truth for any person that resides in their world. It is a train wreck waiting to happen and there are always many victims. In their world the truth and falsehood only hold instrumental meaning as they apply it to a situation and there is absolutely no morality contained in any of their thoughts or actions.
We must remember that at the core of the Narcissist psychopathy is a mindset governed by their grandiosity, lack of empathy for others, AVOIDANCE of the truth with a grand sense of entitlement and superiority that places them above laws and morality. The Narcissist grossly overestimates their abilities and accomplishments and underestimates the complete being of their target/victim. Simply put, the Narcissist should be able to do anything they wish, however harmful and destructive, because the Narcissist is better than others. In the Narcissist’s mind, by making us a part of their wonderful life by mere association with them, he/she passes on to us this grandiosity as if they are royalty and that is our reward. It is ridiculous and repulsive that they can believe this nonsense and more akin to pompousness and arrogance.
It is hard if not impossible to fully wrap our heads around the outlandish behavior of a Narcissist or their psychopathic mindset so we really shouldn’t try to as it relates to and describes our abuse because it really had nothing to do with who WE are. Narcissists believe the truth they create at the moment they need it to provide them with new opportunities – there is no rhyme or reason to it. I believe they even have their own language, and it is delusional at its basis and only ‘doubletalk’ to meet their agenda to extort other people’s lives.
They are only charmers and seducers that use their staged ‘word scripts’ to extort life and people. If I had to interpret SOME of their words, it would go like this — there are MANY more examples, TOO many to list – but most everything they say is weaponized – so please add to the list.
1. “I love you” means “I want something to give me a ‘high’ at this very moment like a drug addict taking a hit from their favorite drug.”
2. “I would NEVER intentionally hurt you” literally translates to “Watch your back because I can’t be trusted as far as I can be thrown, so I am gathering up all the information I can to smear you, back-stab you and WOUND you so you learn to fear my wrath!”
3. “You love me and you know it” translates to “You WILL forgo any and all of your needs and bend to my will and ALL of MY needs.”
4. “Trust me” means “Tell me what I want to know so I can use it to get what I want as well as use it against you when I have to.”
5. “You are the love of my life,” translates into “You are just the next one of a long, list or sequence of targets/victims that will be used and abused.”
6. “Mutual monogamy or fidelity” means “you WILL be faithful to me while I cheat on you.”
7. “Betrayal” in the Narcissist’s mind is defined and justified with this – “How dare you disapprove of something/anything I did or said. You broke the law, didn’t follow my rules and you disobeyed ME. I will show you what happens AND you must and will be punished.”
8. “Mutual commitment” translates into “Everything in your life revolves around me and me alone, BUT I will do exactly what I want.”
9. “Honesty” never means the truth “It is me (Narcissist) saying whatever gets me what I want at the moment.”
10. “I miss you SO MUCH” means “I miss the function you play in my life as supply, but there are plenty of other objects I can play with when I need MORE and better supply.
11. “I love you like no other, we ARE soul mates” means “I’ll give you attention, flattery, gifts, and ‘love bomb’ you to death only until I hook you emotionally and gain your trust AND can extort everything I can from you and your life, and then I am out of here.”
12. For the supply on the side “My wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend doesn’t really love me or satisfy me” really interprets to ‘Neither will you, in a few weeks or months, at most and I will toss you aside too.”
13. “We are MEANT to be together forever” means “ABIDE by my rules because I own you completely while I remain free to do as I please.”
14. “We can and will work this out” means “But it is NEVER my fault. If I did something you believe is harmful, you are over-reacting OR it’s because your services weren’t good enough for me.”
15. “I am tired of you ALWAYS bringing up the same arguments!” Which interprets as you have hit on the truth every time so the Narcissist will just turn it back around onto you!
16. “I hate you” means that YOU have caught them in their lies so they are going to divert to try to hurt you at any level they can.
17. “You have issues” literally means that again you have called them but on something and it is like a little child responding with – “I know you are but what am I,” or just psychobabble to create chaos.
Every word, phrase, or statement of the Narcissist’s so-called “circular truth” is only said in the moment or momentary and always contingent upon their immediate gratification. All their efforts, no matter what only represent an investment designed to satisfy the Narcissists immediate wishes and desires through positivity or negativity – none of which is real or a true reflection of you and I. Their feelings are shallow, so is the value of their ‘truth’s’ that they are always waving in our face. The best thing to do when they make one of their famous proclamations is to always add “for now” to the end of their declarations. There is no passion, and they are by far never grounded with any caring emotions, empathy, or love AND NEVER A COMMITMENT! They may pretend to care or love you FOR the moment but once they are not physically in your presence, they will be pursuing another source of supply or chasing after some new and temporary pleasure!
Lies and deception are a coward’s tool in re-writing and deflecting from reality, but the Narcissist does this with a very deceptive agenda in mind and that is to secure a steady base of SUPPLY! They feed off of our lives, pretend to be something to us when they are NOTHING, steal from us, backstab us to create chaos ALL AROUND our lives, live a perverse lifestyle while they are pretending to be someone special in our lives (and sometimes for MANY years), then blame and shame us into believing we are the PROBLEM and even take it to the point of convincing us we are mentally ill or insane on top of it all, and finally they smear our good name and integrity! BUT here is the truth – you are an amazing person, you have all your mental facilities, you can love, you have great empathy, and you are STRONG because you survived this and are here today. You will recover from this and be free from this abuser. It all starts now with education, knowledge, and support. You will align with all of this and the truth of your situation and purge all the abuse out of your life. It is a process that requires time, but it is worth it because you will get your good life back and freedom. It all starts with no/minimal contact to get the clarity you need! REMEMBER knowledge and education is imperative to move forward! Greg