Their WORDS are their most used weapons that manipulate us into a place of despair so with that in mind knowledge and education are imperative to moving forward to recovery
Their WORDS are their most used weapons that manipulate us into a place of despair so with that in mind knowledge and education are imperative to moving forward to recovery. A Narcissist will keep recycling us into this abuse with their careful and highly manipulative words that really deflect from the truth of who and what they are complete opportunists that will take and steal whatever they can from all people. They will divert from the truth of their conflicted reality by adding a little bit more of that charm, an apology, or whatever they need to do to always hide the truth – and the REASON WHY – to keep us hanging on because they still need SOMETHING from you! Nothing has really changed because they have been doing this diversion tactic at every level of the relationship in some form or fashion.
From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist
Here is where the big game of manipulation begins and repeats itself OVER and OVER again to keep you in their orbit until THEY are done with YOU. They snuggle right up to your emotions and mimic them to create an amazing connection. Add to the equation that they are charming, and intoxicating – they continually seduce their prey into their lair with lies and manipulation. They create a perfect connection with us and seriously it is only a story and one written precisely for us. It is a calculated move on the Narcissist’s part to figure out exactly how to find a place in our mind AND heart through their extreme manipulation. They are quite good at it because they have fooled us or better yet conned us to get us to a place where they will take advantage of our trust AND generosity. To a Narcissist it is just another day with no real thought or remorse to any of their adverse actions. They want something so they go after it and there are no rules or laws that they abide by as it concerns any harm they cause to people. Do not forget that there is also NO empathy, so they do not know how to care, have a real friendship, or love – they do not even have a clue what it feels like, but interestingly enough they mimic it very well and will support it as long as we are viable sources of supply. What an amazing and well thought out plan a Narcissist develops and uses to secure their supply that shouts out PREDATOR!
OK, so here is what we clinically understand about Narcissists: They lie, they are purely vindictive, they look down on everybody, they refuse to accept any responsibility, they are two-faced backstabbers, they live by no rules or laws, they prefer laughing at people rather than with them, they are pathological bullies, they are very childlike, they believe that no matter what happens they will prevail because they see themselves as invincible, they believe that whatever bad things they do they deserve forgiveness, they NEVER do anything wrong in their eyes, they are fearless and non-caring to the point of being insanely unrealistic with their delusional attacks, their lies, and personal attacks including their smear campaign, they are obsessed with their fantasies about power, success and wealth, they are incapable of compromise and need to win, they thrive on evoking reactions and emotions – both negative or positive because it gives them a Narcissistic high, chaos rules their life, they are out-of-control with their needs to secure supply from all people, they cheat on all of their partners, they break down their target/victim’s will through constant dehumanization and brainwashing to make them feel like they are the negative entity in the relationship and worthless.
The dynamics of any relationship with them is built solely on the premise that you are an object to this distorted creature for as long as they want you to be OR until they have extorted everything, they can from you, OR you uncover the truth about them. Unfortunately, you are coming from what you believe is a real relationship with them, so you are blinded to the day-to-day subtle manipulation and abuse. Love, commitment, and growth are your goals, but slowly but surely your emotions and thoughts are eroded away until you lose the person you were for so many years. The Narcissist does not ever stop the abuse because they need to devalue and discard you and they manipulate you into temporary insanity. They push and push you so that you react in ways that MAKE you out to be the ‘crazy one’ and then they use that against you. This is what they are and what they do. There is absolutely NOTHING you could have done to change any of this. This is a predator with an agenda to secure its prey, feed off it, devalue it, destroy it, and then move on to new hunting grounds to find another person to prey on. BUT they are so good at this game that few see through them until it is too late! Add to the fact that a Narcissist will destroy each of their targets/victim’s integrity to cover their tracks by using the insanity they forced you into AGAINST you. The world is none the wiser to these criminals. Try explaining your incredulous experience and you have sealed your faith as being the ‘crazy one’ just like the Narcissist has described you to everyone and BEHIND your back. The Narcissist has everything covered as far as the abuse is concerned.
They are NOT capable of bonding, having a relationship and especially experiencing any love as normal people know it. They constantly manipulate people to go against their own values willingly, they USE them as puppets, pawns and commodities with positive and negative manipulation and schemes. They burn people out and then move onto their next victim, furthermore they do not value people, do not miss them or love them because that involves bonding emotionally at various levels and the ability to bond at ANY level is completely MISSING – THEY ONLY USE PEOPLE for personal gain and rewards! No/minimal contact always. Greg