There is NEVER a relationship with them instead it is a reign of terror with a Narcissist! Understanding the harm these emotional vampires cause to anybody they have ANY sort of relationship with.

There is NEVER a relationship with them instead it is a reign of terror with a Narcissist! Understanding the harm these emotional vampires cause to anybody they have ANY sort of relationship with.

From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist.

The victim becomes less and less of what they used to be prior to meeting the Narcissist in fact they are left broken after and type of connection with them. It becomes a vicious cycle of denigration, debasing, dehumanization, and destruction by the narcissist until there is nothing of substance left of the victim. The dismantling of the victim was skillfully orchestrated by the narcissist, and then as if to add INSULT TO INJURY the Narcissist will unmercifully criticize the victim for “not being the person” the Narcissist fell in love with – basically they are erasing your personality and complete being. All the “blame and shame” will ceremoniously be dumped on the victim to kick them down even further into the destruction a Narcissist inflicts on everyone. The Narcissist will even “project” their betrayal and perverse lifestyle onto the victim and accuse them of what they (the Narcissist) are actually doing. The Narcissist will not yield to anything once they have the reigns of terror going and will even physically make fun of their victim to inflict every possible form of damage they can. This disables the victim completely, so they cannot possibly fight back and expose the Narcissist as the REAL abuser they are. The Narcissist has been back-stabbing and “smearing” the victim to family, friends, co-workers, and any other people that will listen to further damage the integrity of the victim. The Narcissist will then discard the victim quickly and without regard. The cycle of abuse and destruction has been completed. The victim has been devoured by the Narcissist and left by the roadside. This describes and is NARCISSISTIC ABUSE or better yet psychological rape of their victim. This is not simply “emotional abuse”, or a bad relationship between two people – this is a calculated attack of a predator after prey. This is a disordered human being that willfully harms good people – EVEN their own biological children will become victims of their damaging cycle of abuse. Predator after prey!

Is this a disorder as well as a NON-functioning human being? Well, we have to say yes because NO NORMAL person would act out in this manner against another human being, but let us not forget that there is a great deal of thought put into this abuse. It is cognitive, meaning that the Narcissist puts rational thought evoking processes into effect to get the desired results they want from their targets/victims starting with the charm and love-bombing to set the trap. SO, can we safely say it is premeditated? That word is largely used in the legal profession to describe somebody that has carefully thought out a crime with INTENTION! If a criminal is charged with this, they go to jail without passing “GO.” It is a ‘Monopoly’ saying when you draw the card that says “Go Directly to Jail and do not pass GO and collect any money” – a little bad humor.

 Reclaim your power by externalizing (dumping) any and all blame and realize that the person you were dealing with was very stealth and the attacks came out of nowhere. This is not your fault and you are left as a prisoner of war would be and the poison that flows through your psyche started with what you thought was friendship, caring or love. It is an insurmountable and huge betrayal with the dehumanization and realization that it was all a big lie every minute you believed in. It is a ridiculous and horrendous pill to swallow. A person entered your life that you cared for, friended or even loved (and they pretended to do the same) but it was ALL ONE BIG CON JOB! They extorted your emotions and manipulated them in such a debilitating manner to take you from this great connection to making you out to be defective and probably even saying you had issues. Every person that has encountered this abuse can relate EXACTLY to this disturbing truth. Reminds me of one of those old black and white movies where a thug picks up a hitchhiker, making them believe they are going to drive them to their destination with good intentions, but instead steals their wallet and self-respect, and then pushes them out of the moving car and then drives off to find another victim.

As always, I end with go “NO CONTACT!” Unequivocally it is the only way to gain your freedom from this calculating, disordered, manipulating, cunning, lying, extortionist and abuser that MEANS to inflict damage on their prey as well as take everything they can! You can and will recover from this abuse – but YOU MUST understand that the Narcissist is as calculated in their attacks on people as is a shark with its prey. Once you establish the facts/truth about your abuser you must put it all into perspective to release from the ‘blame and shame’ as well as the worthlessness that you feel, and the Narcissist made you internalize or better yet forced down your throat. You are NOT to blame for any of this because abuse is ALWAYS wrong and there are NO ifs, ands, or buts about it! Find that spirit, it is still there with you as well as your self-esteem, goodness, empathy, and LOVE — I promise you that this had NOTHING to do with who or what you are, it has to do with an extremely disordered person that manipulated you into ALL OF THIS because they are an abhorrent and disordered abuser. You are and always have been the beautiful and amazing person you always were – THAT IS WHY YOU ARE STILL HERE TODAY, and you still have tomorrow – and do not give that up. You WILL be the person you once were!

Posted on April 6, 2021, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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