The Narcissist’s world completely revolves around externalization or objectification because they cannot internalize emotions, caring, bonding or love – so EVERYONE is an object that performs a specific purpose
The Narcissist’s world completely revolves around externalization or objectification because they cannot internalize emotions, caring, bonding or love – so EVERYONE is an object that performs a specific purpose. There is no such thing as a POSITIVE value judgment with a Narcissist as it concerns any other human being on this planet – people are merely living objects for a Narcissist to use abuse and discard at will. It is a very manipulative and controlled mechanism they use to their advantage to get what they want or supply – and that is what each of us are!
From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist
You can’t have reality in a situation where there is none, especially a situation that is embellished with toxic behavior to push your buttons, play with your emotions and take you to your lowest level. The Narcissist will ultimately step up the game of their abuse with betrayal, many sexual indiscretions, pathological lies, gas-lighting, etc., but again this starts out as a slow and very ambiguous abuse. Unfortunately it disables the target/victims capacity to function normally within the relationship and then it is too late because the target/victim is somewhere between their emotional connection (love) and the vast confusion caused by the debasing and dehumanizing psychological warfare.
The narcissist has successfully developed strong and shrewd communication skills that basically invalidate and manipulate our own perceptions about ourselves and distort all logic and reasoning rendering OUR communication with them useless. All interpersonal communication becomes twisted, and an opportunity to make us feel invalidated, wrong and basically worthless. This within itself is often overlooked (the subtle abuse) but it is as dangerous as any of their other tools in the arsenal of Narcissistic abuse!
Many, if not all Narcissists get away with psychological terrorism and they murder their targets self-esteem, mind and soul. Be it bullying, slander, or abuse, things that should be prosecutable offenses and they do this all of their lives. So just how do they get away with it all without any consequences AND why do people believe them? WELL, first off because the Narcissist KNOWS that they are creating outrageous and dehumanizing acts against people and humanity, so they also think up ways to avoid the consequences, especially because of what they fear the most – EXPOSURE!
SO they ALSO plan a preemptive attack on their victims by backstabbing and smearing you to those in your immediate circle. The big plan! That shrewd Narcissist destroys the victim’s credibility in advance. They are by far NOT geniuses, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that if you want to get away with abusing someone, you first launch an effective pre-emptive attack on their character, so that nobody will believe the target/victim when the truth finally starts emerging that they (target/victim) was abused. Here is the formula for the Narcissist to be successful at this – abuse and then accuse your target/victim of the very atrocity the Narcissist has committed and BOOM you are on top of your game to escape the exposure. They have been backstabbing/smearing us behind our backs from the very first day that we met them – but we were very distracted by the ‘love bombing’ and growing trust with this creature – just us being a normal and empathic human being. Meanwhile that dark Narcissistic creature was just plugging us into their cycle of abuse and building up their minions, flying monkeys or Narcissistic support soldiers.
The basic facts of life as it concerns those people that love to put themselves in the middle to judge others, or the Narcissists best friends and supporters or MINIONS – they are abusers too. BUT the bigger lesson of “damned if we do or damned if we don’t” is the culprit here too! Everybody knows that when somebody defends themselves from accusations with accusations, the majority will always believe the one who accused first and views the ‘defendant’ as the attacker, the scorned one and retaliating as if the target/victim were caught in OR did the outrageous things that the Narcissist has alleged. This is irrational, because the initial accuser (the Narcissist) is the attacker and there is no more reason to believe one party over the other but people do! Lastly if we don’t make an attempt to stand up or defend our integrity we are guilty by the design of the disordered Narcissist’s smear campaign. No win situation for the target or victim, especially when they are already vulnerable by the ABUSE and basically a shell of a person.
So what a Narcissist puts into motion is pathologically treating us like dirt and maligning us behind our backs to control and destroy us. They are predators that are pre-loaded with delusion, psychopathy, and abuse. This seriously puts Narcissists in their own special class with Psychopaths or like a branch from the same Psychopath tree. The class of people who don’t wish you or any other human being any sense of well-being, no matter what or how friendly, caring or loving their façade is. This is the same class of predators as physical, sexual or ANY other kind of abusive predator and Narcissists are just as dangerous. Seriously we MUST internalize Narcissists really are predators and dangerous, but many people just don’t appreciate the true meaning or the reality of Narcissistic abuse basically letting it in one ear and out the other as the saying goes!