PROJECTION – a Narcissist’s ‘hocus pocus’ or magic to transform themselves into anything they want to be – OR – to dump or get rid of anything they don’t want! Break the ‘spell’ by disallowing them to connect with you at ANY level!

PROJECTION – a Narcissist’s ‘hocus pocus’ or magic to transform themselves into anything they want to be – OR – to dump or get rid of anything they don’t want! Break the ‘spell’ by disallowing them to connect with you at ANY level!

From my Book – Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist

So to start, think of “projection” as the Narcissist posing in the image of your face just as if they were looking in a mirror for a reflection of themselves. They are projecting or throwing all the bad flaws, deeds and ALL of the beliefs about themselves onto and INTO you. These feelings or beliefs are the positive ones as well as the negative ones. The positive projection is linked directly to their extreme CHARM and/or ‘love bombing that got you trapped in their world and started you off on this dehumanizing journey. In their grand creation of their false self they try to encapsulate every AMAZING quality they can into their mask that HIDES their true damaged self that they project to everyone that makes them so CHARMING! Along the same lines they will have to dump most if not all of the reality of their damaged and perverted self onto somebody as well when they need to. When I say somebody that means other human beings again because they are posing and using us like a mirror.

Think of it in your own normal and functioning world as to why you would ever lie. Well first off because you would be hiding some sort of ugly action and trying to redeem yourself so you won’t be cast off and out of your circle of friends, family and loved ones. Lying is the use of words to project a false image to correct the real or bad image! You could also lie in a good way by over complimenting or flattering someone to win them over, perhaps even exaggerate a few things here and there, but basically lying has a deceptive agenda attached to it. With the Narcissist think of it in bigger terms or EVERYTHING that constitutes their personality or life is based on lies and hideous distortions and it is pathological in nature and all consuming. You or I could never have known this when we met them nor could we have done anything to correct any of their dysfunction. This is their normal and they just utilize their talents to jump from one relationship to another and they are not looking back at any of the damage they have caused to anybody.

Now to the negative projection. It is basically the same thing in reverse. The Narcissist projects their ugliness, perverted habits, distorted thoughts and beliefs, acts of betrayal, or the truth about just how hateful their actions and deeds are, or their whole reality onto the mirror or us (again). This time they are essentially transferring their negative reality onto us in order to make us feel and appear to be the faulty one. The reflection they get back is another version of their saintly selves as being moral and denouncing the very hateful and perverted things they act on. The Narcissist transfers ownership of their negative and faulty character flaws as belonging to us. Doing this, the narcissist is in effect using the target/victim as a dumping ground to rid THEMSELVES from blame and shame.

Their projection works amazingly well because it is just so much crazy thrown at us that we are never the wiser or seeing it as projection because it was damaging our chances of fixing things ONCE AGAIN – or just a new crazy approach they use LIKE ACCUSING US. We would react by wanting to set it all straight, so it just puts us back into that place where we were reacting and explaining ourselves again and bending over backwards to fix another deluded accusation? Well guess what, it was real! NOT that we did something – they did and It was real for the Narcissist because THEY were the ones deceiving us in so many ways, lying, betraying us, or any other number of things – again NOT US. SO to cleanse themselves of their own reality they had to project this onto us and see us squirm and basically punish us for their horrendous actions. They essentially put themselves up on their grand pulpit and exclaimed that they were OUR sins as well as proclaiming their high morality as in they would NEVER commit such an act when they just did. This is how they dump the guilt and patch up their virtuous façade AND attack us at the same time with blame. That is their ‘hocus pocus’ or Narcissistic magic they use to change things.

Projection and smearing at the same time is a work of art for the Narcissist, and it is uncanny how narcissists manage to accomplish it. It’s all in the way their words are carefully placed, because not only do they ditch one of their faults, they muddy up one of your virtues in the process until they eradicate all of your goodness. They are so glib and amazingly adept at “killing two birds with that one stone.”

But understand and remember this, the Narcissist isn’t attacking your ‘faults and shortcomings,’ he/she is attacking your ‘virtues and accomplishments.’ Consequently, when the Narcissist is conducting a smear campaign or character assassination against someone, the gun the Narcissists shoots never hits one of that person’s real flaws, it is shot at you to just wound you enough to disable you. Believe me they will keep shooting and wounding you in the hopes of completely crippling you as time goes by because they have to.

Again, it is just ‘Narcissist magic’ or an illusion created with nothing but words, and they seamlessly trick or warp everyone’s normal perceptions, but like everything else about them it is all about lies and lying. For example, let’s say that the Narcissist is stingy/cheap (a TAKER as most of them are) and that one of your virtues is that you are outstanding for you generosity. He/she hates the glow of that shiny spot in your character, because it serves to foil the Narcissist’s stinginess, making it more noticeable by contrast. So the Narcissist muddies your image and glorifies their image by misappropriating your generosity to themselves and misappropriates their stinginess on you. Think back to how this always seemed to come into constant play with so many different situations during the time you spent with them. They were continually managing you down to only discard you when it was time for them to just move on to someone else. What did you do that was really wrong? You know the answer to this and that is absolutely nothing at all – BUT they were doing MANY things wrong! You must completely internalize the truth to light your way to recovery! No/minimal contact ALWAYS! Greg

Posted on June 19, 2020, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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