Narcissists have NO authenticity whatsoever – only learned behaviors to achieve a specific agenda.
They have NO authenticity whatsoever – only learned behaviors to achieve a specific agenda they have designed personally for each of us. Narcissists are pathological hypocrites because their words and actions do NOT line up with ANY of their actions or REAL thoughts – they are just words they use at any given moment to line up with THEIR particular agenda that is ALWAYS and everchanging to meet THEIR needs.
From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist
There is no “one” real person inside of them that is fully functioning or normal, instead there are many made up facsimiles of personalities that they use to cover up their dark reality to gain access into the lives of normal and healthy people. SO, it follows that there is no proper internal mechanism that exists or functions as it relates to a Narcissist having a normal and functioning ‘personality’ that can relate in a healthy manner with the outside world and the people in it. The reality that exists (and I am very loosely using that word reality) is a thin veneer or skin that is like a mask and costume they CREATE and wear that corresponds with their needs at any given moment TO TRAP ANOTHER TARGET/VICTIM. It is very interchangeable at any given moment as well, so it fools the rest of the world and protects the Narcissist from being EXPOSED as the abusive person that they are.
They are like a chameleon that is able to change the color of its skin to match its environment and they are amazingly adept at this. The Narcissist disengages, detaches, or un-knows their dark inner self and easily identifies with something external and creates (or wears) this projected ‘good’ image instead – and there you have it a different person for every different ‘need’. That need is usually to trick their targets and use them as ‘Narcissistic Supply’ and just a major component of their survival (again they need us for SUPPLY.) Basically their functioning image is the biggest lie that this extortionist uses in their arsenal of deceit or ABUSE. Or as my friend said ‘compartmentalization’ – they compartmentalize us to fit the many different and exacting needs they have for each of us.
Now that is pretty messed up! The relationship with yourself, or the one that requires a conscience, morals, empathy, a soul, etc., is a pretty important relationship to be lacking COMPLETELY, and pretty much a requirement or prerequisite to being a functioning human being and living life NORMALLY with others. If you don’t relate to your own self or your life in a healthy matter, how can you relate to anyone else in a ‘healthy manner?’ JUST MY POINT – a Narcissist lacks the mechanisms needed to be a ‘fully functioning human being’ so they invent what they need as they go along in life and we play along or join in unknowingly with their toxic and destructive game. It is how they survive because they NEED US to be able to survive and live amongst us daily because for now we are still the majority here on this planet. BASICALLY we are here to supply them OR fulfill their every need, be it financially as in a career, sexually to fulfill their physical needs, familial so ‘they’ have a proper ‘face’ to appear ‘normal, moral and ethical’, friends to help them shore up their façade and believe their ‘lies’, or whatever they can harvest and use from people to fill in the huge VOID that they are. None of us serve anything more OR are more than a “bit part” in the Narcissist deranged and disordered life. We function to serve a specified need the Narcissist has at a specific time, AND they may have multiple relationships going on at once to secure all the supply they can get – but we are none the wiser!
A Narcissist lacks all social graces in the most extreme ways because underneath their ‘seductive’ façade, they don’t honor any human rights, respect individuality, or obey any written law. They live life in an extremely pathological and abusive manner. They imitate a functioning human being and take everything they want and need through some extreme and manipulative methods. They also get bored easily with their conquests SINCE they lack the mechanisms to form healthy bonds (and decisions), so they STRAY very easily to keep the excitement and adulation flowing in their world. Now it is bad enough they are life’s extortionist but they also seem to loathe all healthy loving people that would dare express their individuality, question them or demand accountability, so they lose their patience with us quickly and psychologically attack our minds in an effort to destroy our life as we know it.
Like any other bully you have to disengage from the Narcissist because if you don’t they will only attack you in unimaginable ways to destroy your integrity as well as your life – they have to win the battle they have with life, people and essentially the WHOLE world! You will ‘seemingly’ end up being the crazy one and the abuser because they will make you out to be everything bad/wrong just like a psycho bully would react to remove any blame from themselves and pass it onto you, basically their back-stabbing and smear campaign. Not a very pretty package at all. Just always remember, you haven’t done ANYTHING wrong to deserve this because they don’t function like other human beings. They don’t even have a clue what liking, caring or LOVING is so they live without it by pretending they know it, but you CAN’T pretend to care/love especially when you have no morals and it catches up with the Narcissist very quickly. NO/minimal contact to shut them out of your life completely – you cannot have reality or normality with a Narcissist being ANY part of your world. Greg