It is all a game of deception, extreme manipulation, conquest and control! NEVER trust a Narcissist’s intentions (especially when they are trying to be nice) – there is always a reason behind what they do and it is to benefit them!

It is all a game of deception, extreme manipulation, conquest and control! NEVER trust a Narcissist’s intentions (especially when they are trying to be nice) – there is always a reason behind what they do and it is to benefit them!

From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist

Narcissists have an amazing level of rationalization. Rationalization means mentally taking something you know is wrong or off base, and re-characterizing it in a way that makes it seem much more acceptable, or even virtuous. Unfortunately, with a Narcissist it is always delusional self-serving rationalizations to avoid having to deal with their REAL damaged self — or purely denial.

They are the ‘SUPREME’ master manipulator and feel an “emotional high” with each new conquest – and that is all it amounts to a conquest so that they can feel the relevance they crave, or better yet addicted to ‘it’ like a drug addict is to their drug of choice. Unfortunately, it is never enough and the high is always short lived just like that drug addict that keeps returning to more and more of that drug of choice. This is a difficult concept to put into words because it isn’t merely a conquest, it is their way of life and how they discard individualism in any person and objectify them to only satisfy their needs. When those needs aren’t met you are swiftly punished, admonished or abused! Whether you are their spouse, a family member, a child of theirs, 24/7 source of supply, extra supply, or “the other’ relationship they have on the side – nobody has any more relevance than the other or a significant hierarchy in the Narcissist’s world – we are all just objects or toys for them to use for however long we satisfy them – we ALL have an expiration date!

To a Narcissist, betraying a person or cheating is like a game (just like their whole façade) where he/she manipulates or maneuvers people into giving the Narcissist what he/she wants. Unfortunately, it has no special meaning to the Narcissist, although he/she will do everything to make that person they are seducing think otherwise because they are consummate con artists. With the Narcissist everything is a mirror to see his/her reflection to get that admiration/adulation as well as to get something they may want. But, to get what they want, they will focus on YOU, feeding you what they know you want to hear making you believe you are special, but in fact, you are just one of MANY objects to be used. Remember part of this need for admiration also includes making people feel jealousy, pain, and extreme hurt – especially their present source of supply and they carry it further AFTER they discard us by rubbing our face in their new conquest.

So just how do they rationalize that they are just that special? They aren’t even remotely special because they are actually dependent on the very things that make them feel superior OR us. That façade serves many purposes and they only lie to themselves (as equally as they do to us and probably even more so) when they believe they are just that AMAZING and that we all flock to them to be a part of their world. No dear Narcissist, you manipulate, deceive, and lie to make YOURSELF believe that you are amazing and you hurt/destroy good and loving people in the process.

We figure it out eventually that your world is flimsy and full of deceit and darkness AND that you harm and even destroy people when you don’t get your way and that is why you run away. It is us you are running from or is it the truth about yourself that you are running from? So you see in the end we rationalize with the real truth of who and what they are – but it was the seduction and horrible manipulation that kept us caught up in their game for far too long and that has caused us great damage. Our truth and reality will come back to us because it was and is what is ‘real’ because we were always ‘real’ throughout this horrendous relationship. They may have caused harm and damage but they haven’t really taken our truth, spirit, or love – they disabled it. That truth is the start of our road to recovery and freedom – once we actualize this truth and couple it with the fact that they are personality disordered we then acquire that ‘ah ha’ moment and that is when we HAVE to make the decision to move forward or stay in this abusive situation until there is nothing left of us. You are amazing and can and will move forward – tell yourself this truth everyday as well as the fact that you deserve so much more than this and you NEVER deserved to be abused! No/minimal contact to start on your journey! Greg

Posted on February 8, 2020, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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