In any type of relationship when communication and thoughts are not nurtured in a process to validate another person, all areas of the relationship are affected.
In any type of relationship when communication and thoughts are not nurtured in a process to validate another person, all areas of the relationship are affected. Communication is the open door that allows two people to exchange cognitive and personal thoughts, and to enable REAL growth. We are independent beings that have purpose and we exchange our thoughts normally by accepting our relative differences. The Narcissist manipulates in such a way to cause false interpretations of all of our cognitive processes to distort reality and make them fail and become disabled – or erasing us.
From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist
When we are manipulated in this manner it affects those important skills that we use on a daily basis. It is like we lose our motivation to be effective with simple matters in our personal life or even block our ability to concentrate and learn because we were manipulated in a manner to constantly question ourselves from someone we BELIEVED we could trust and more than likely someone we loved. Basically there is NO growth in this type of toxic relationship – but instead a complete invalidation of person being manipulated. This is betrayal in the most extreme manner and describes just how sick a Narcissist is to use our love to create and administer their hate and destruction – AND WHY? Our mind is linked to so many internal processes, and when it is psychologically wounded, other areas will also be affected just like a disease that will spread unless treated – even causing physical damage. It can take its toll and cause long term problems linked to trauma.
It is akin to being a prisoner of war with brain-washing, gas-lighting, extreme manipulation of facts, or psychological terrorism. Some of those areas that become affected are; our attention span, our day to day memory, how we process things in our daily life, our long/short term memory, how we see and hear things AND our logic and reasoning abilities. AGAIN, this is basically brain-washing in an effort to slowly but methodically break us down and render us useless as an independent thinking and speaking being – Narcissist do not allow individuality because they are cruel dictators. This is what describes the abuse, and this is what is damaging to the target/victim’s well-being as far as it concerns the psychological abuse that is imposed on you/us. The most striking aspect of this is that it is dealt to us in a slow and insidious manner like being around a slowly leaking and poisonous gas that has no apparent smell so we don’t know the danger we are in because we take it in slowly and when we finally realize, the damage is already done.
So to encapsulate this Narcissists play pathological games to break us down, invalidate, erase, and to completely CONTROL us. This is done for the sole purpose of extracting all they can by confusing and disabling us – AND from multiple targets at the same time (factor in their daily interactions with friends, family at their workplace, etc.) There is never one real working relationship with anybody that DOESN’T include this abhorrent manipulation. We are all a means to an end with a Narcissist and that is extracting their supply and destroying people!
Narcissists are dishonest; they give mixed signals, always running hot and cold. They triangulate everybody by playing people against one another to maintain control AND they avoid real commitment because it doesn’t exist in a world where there is no give and all take – they are life’s extortionists.
Narcissists do not think the same way the rest of us do as far as it concerns empathy, care, friendship, love, and support because it would allow us to be individuals that think independently of their controlling and abusive nature. What is personally good, fun, logical, and reasonable to us, is the absolute opposite to them – again THIS is what leads us to our ‘Ah Ha’ moment. It’s one of the reasons people get so frustrated, confused and ABUSED by Narcissists. We would never consider diminishing someone we care for OR intentionally making someone angry or fearful of us – especially someone we care for, value or love – NOR would we use words as ammunition to wound someone. To the Narcissist making someone angrier, fearful, invalidating them and using it against them is their goal in life OR controlling their victim They are big cowards that always lurk in the shadows to hide their identity with their lies, manipulation and perverted lifestyle. Control is power in their world! Trust your intuition and empower yourself with truth and clarity. No/Minimal contact! Greg