YES we are strong and we become survivors the moment we say ‘NO more!’ This was not just about simple arguments, name calling, etc. – this was the total exploitation of our emotions, our care or love, and the dissembling of our identity and core values.

YES we are strong and we become survivors the moment we say ‘NO more!’ This was not just about simple arguments, name calling, etc. – this was the total exploitation of our emotions, our care or love, and the dissembling of our identity and core values.

From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist

Through the lies of the Narcissist you/we as targets/victims have expressed feelings and ideas which were genuinely our feelings, dreams, ideas, and unconditional love. Now you/we find ourselves in the position where we are not sure about our own genuine and unique self – we trusted what can only be considered a destructive and disordered individual and basically an extortionist of life and people.

Abuse at the hands of a Narcissist can be described in many ways – but the reality of the situation is that we have looked into the eyes of what can only be described as the nearest thing to evil. It is psychological terrorism by a disordered human being that had no intentions whatsoever to be anything to us but a thief of hearts, as well as a thief of life.

The aspect that is the most damaging about this abuse is that it is silent and invisible – the psychological abuse that has robbed the target/victim of their spirit. When you came out of this you felt like you were in a fog, or better yet that your reality was altered and basically it was through the slow process of brainwashing and the manipulation from your perpetrator. You are/were traumatized, confounded and confused and wondering what hit you squarely in the brain. We are functioning, but not as we once did. If we were the person we were before this abuse we would have had a much clearer perspective AFTER discard, but unfortunately we are not that person anymore. We have gained the knowledge but we are vulnerable and damaged, so we really struggle. Furthermore children also grow up in this abuse and never have a real sense of a happy and healthy emotional environment. This abuse comes in many forms and can be a close friend, a co-worker, a boss, a professional, or basically from any association with a Narcissist.

Understanding this: Life is no longer the world that we once knew – it doesn’t feel safe, and our core beliefs about one of the most cherished aspects of life – “LOVE” – has been redefined by a silent battle that ensued with an enemy that believed we loved. A battle that we actually never realized was going on. Yes they are enemies to mankind because they act out in a manner to destroy good people, leaving them and their welfare at such a vulnerable place that the recovery is a process that requires time that can compound the abuse even more. Loss is the best word to use here, loss that destroys people and families.

A Narcissist will always rob a target/victim of their authenticity and identity – and then purposely them with backstabbing and a smear campaign. To learn to trust yourself and to believe in yourself is a task which will not be easy to accomplish, and the only help at hand is the reality in the knowledge that you were genuine with your feelings and that you had been tricked into an emotional situation which ultimately was out of your control. Recovery is a process to reclaim your feelings and emotions in the real world and to overcome fears of expressing such feelings in the real world. Every little step towards this is a success. Just remember that the potential for finding a genuine and loving relationship still exists within you. YOU ARE A PERSON THAT CAN LOVE, a Narcissist can NEVER love and lives in a loathsome and dark world where they will always be alone no matter whether they are physically with someone or not.

Together we heal and my promise! First I totally believe you and IN YOU, I totally understand what you are going through and I will always explain this abuse in a manner to help educate you, as well as help you embrace this in a manner to achieve closure on your own. I will always try to explain as much of this as I possibly can to help you get through this and achieve that “Ah Ha’ moment where you will ‘GET THIS’. I will always do this in a manner that goes beyond the clinical definitions and put it out there in a raw manner with real definitions and explanations from the perspective of a person that has gone through this and returned back to a normal lifestyle. With each and every separate topic I am going to keep bringing you back to some of the same specific points I may have covered in a manner that not only defines a specific situation but reconnects it to the bigger picture! I will repeat and connect thoughts over and over again because there is no real ‘rhyme or reason’ to this abuse, only the truth and facts that every target/victim of this abuse experiences the SAME thing. That is what I am trying to connect you to – or the truth that NONE of this had anything to do with you. So when you fall backwards or feel so distressed I promise I will always try to bring you back to more of the truth and understanding the total picture step by step. I know this because I have lived it for most of my life and I understand that darkness that we must find our way out of and back into the life of reality that we so deserve.

Finally – my wish for you is that you AWLAYS find hope and peace from the traumatizing experience of this abuse through knowledge and education. Together our voices make us strong and educated as we share our experiences so others find clarity too. With our voices we will also spread the word and truth that this abuse is real and can destroy people – and we must make sure that we play it forward so others do not fall into the prison of this emotional abuse forever. Today I wish you a beautiful future – one that you deserve and one that you will have. Happy Holidays to the many amazing followers here. After Narcissist Abuse – There is Light, Life, and Love – I promise. Greg ❤

Posted on December 25, 2019, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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