The Narcissist ALWAYS creates the terms of how THEY measure life, so if they were a “tape measure or a ruler”, they would determine the dynamics of each and every measurement OR define every inch of every foot – and you can believe that it would not be consistent as it is SUPPOSED to be.

The Narcissist ALWAYS creates the terms of how THEY measure life, so if they were a “tape measure or a ruler”, they would determine the dynamics of each and every measurement OR define every inch of every foot – and you can believe that it would not be consistent as it is SUPPOSED to be. The Narcissist has to be ‘that’ which measures (and judges) and NEVER that WHICH IS MEASURED and NEVER judged. Literally they “coin” the phrase “give them an inch and they will take a yard.” Well that and anything they can get their tentacles around because they are ALWAYS after something when it comes to any relationship with a Narcissist. Unfortunately, if you withhold that ‘something’ from them or test them in any way you will be annihilated because they have a very short fuse!

From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist

The Narcissist can’t maintain their façade without exposing their true colors, and exposure is their greatest fear. So, the Narcissist exerts their last bit of power to annihilate the very source that could expose the truth or their target/victims. Hence all those clinical terms that describe the repercussions of our relationship with them like back stabbing and the ‘smear campaign’ and BOOM we are destroyed, done and gone forever. No-one is ever the wiser so life goes on FOR THE NARCISSIST while we pay for it with no closure whatsoever. Don’t forget that there are always THOSE subjects that the Narcissist has been grooming while they were abusing us so there you go again – BOOM – they have a brand new ‘subject’ (target/victim) ready and waiting to serve them and new soldiers to protect their lies and shore up the fortress. The biggest point I want to reinforce is that this had NOTHING to do with YOU. It was situational and abuse and you were conned and betrayed in an inhumane and disabling manner so this creature could get at what they wanted. You ARE still that amazing person and you WILL recover from this with the truth, education, self-compassion, introspection, and time. You are an amazing person to have come this far and you will survive and recover from this! No/minimal contact is the ONLY way to end the abuse and move forward to healing and recovery! Greghave a battle that rages in their head to seriously harm people that love them as if they loathe all people and need to destroy them one by one – but yet they USE them to satisfy all of their needs!

The Narcissist is incapable of emotions or love because at the core of his/her Narcissism is the total refusal to honor others as individuals (basic human rights) or to truly care or love and appreciate others as ‘another’ person that is anywhere near equal to the omnipotent Narcissist – all of this is encapsulated in their TOTAL lack of empathy. What does exist is a fortress or huge wall of envy or jealousy that is weak and very wobbly because it always comes tumbling down and the Narcissist shows their true colors with their debasing and dehumanizing mannerisms because they are empty as far as emotions, empathy, caring, loving or bonding because people are only mere OBJECTS. What the Narcissist does love or better yet crave (for a while) is the false self he/she has created and that he/she NEEDS to see reflected in the affirmation and supply from others to feel real and alive. They are actors and actresses picking and choosing their roles and perfecting them to receive their ‘Emmy’ award or better yet the most and best SUPPLY they can get from their audience. It doesn’t really matter WHO it comes from just as long as they are getting supply and that is why they can move on so easily – and AGAIN they DO NOT bond with people they objectify them.

It is basically a parasitic relationship where the Narcissist is more akin to a TICK feeding on us to survive, as well as infecting us with their poisonous saliva that can and will disable and indect us. We are just a source to feed them, entertain them, and a cover to hide their disfigured and abusive lifestyle. After being objectified and abused we are then blamed/shamed and destroyed as if in a ritual way to remove ANY and ALL accountability from the Narcissist because he/she can never allow themselves to see the reality of their disordered life and the destruction they cause – that and to avoid exposure from the truth that they are disordered and abusive. This is the truth about their superiority or omnipotence, and it is as flimsy as their reality in this world.

Since a Narcissist is incapable of truly loving another as an individual, all of the Narcissist’s relationships with others are perverted, twisted, and abusive. To use a person is to abuse a person, and everyone in the Narcissists life WITHOUT EXCEPTION is nothing more than a means of procuring affirmation, adulation, admiration OR supply. We are a means to an end driven by the Narcissist’s self-serving agenda to secure supply or basically to extort people.

A Narcissist is calculating and refuses ANY connection or obedience of the basic requirements of life or the natural moral laws as they apply to life and human rights. Obedience to a Narcissist implies that there is something larger or better than what they are and they will never comply because it would define them as being WEAKER to allow anyone to feel significant enough to be their equal or better. It is almost like the Narcissist completely relates everything in life to a measurement, but this measurement begins and ends with them. As the saying goes, the sun rises and sets on a Narcissist because they feel they are above all life.

Because Narcissists have depleted or deleted their character so profoundly through choices contrary to the norms of reason or basic DENIAL, they will even begin to see themselves as what they project, mirror, and bounce off of us – so basically we give life to their delusions. If you are not governed by any natural or moral laws, but by the law of “whatever you want to be to get whatever you want” well then you hold great power, but you need to CONTROL the world to achieve this superiority, so the Narcissist is fundamentally a dictator and rule their world.

Unfortunately, this comes at a great cost to the Narcissist and their biggest weakness is that it is never enough and they fall into their “out-of-control” lifestyle quickly for more and more adulation and supply from wherever they can get it. Betrayal, addictions, many affairs on the side, gas-lighting, horrendous lies, etc., are all part of the façade and they become so careless that when they are caught and made accountable time after time, their ‘subjects’ (targets/victims) retaliate. A dictator only uses a stronger fist to subdue their ‘subjects’ and likewise a Narcissist does the same with a ‘smear campaign’ of lies to destroy their victims integrity. A Narcissist can’t substantiate their delusional lifestyle with us to maintain a relationship because eventually the dictator Narcissist turns hateful, destructive, AND bored. It is of course our entire fault for not cultivating/nurturing all of their delusions and lies and allowing them to maintain the abusive life they created for us. SO when all is said and done the Narcissist is really running away from their own lies and delusions because they are afraid of being EXPOSED! Obviously they KNOW what they are doing but they just do not care because they do not have the mechanics to do so – and that is what defines this horrendous personality disorder – a person that does not have the ability to care, feel, or think like we do.

The Narcissist can’t maintain their facade without exposing their true colors, and exposure is their greatest fear. So, the Narcissist exerts their last bit of power to annihilate the very source that could expose the truth or their target/victims. Hence all those clinical terms that describe the repercussions of our relationship with them like back stabbing and the ‘smear campaign’ and BOOM we are destroyed, done and gone forever. No-one is ever the wiser so life goes on FOR THE NARCISSIST while we pay for it with no closure whatsoever. Don’t forget that there are always THOSE subjects that the Narcissist has been grooming while they were abusing us so there you go again – BOOM – they have a brand new ‘subject’ (target/victim) ready and waiting to serve them and new soldiers to protect their lies and shore up the fortress. The biggest point I want to reinforce is that this had NOTHING to do with YOU. It was situational and abuse and you were conned and betrayed in an inhumane and disabling manner so this creature could get at what they wanted. You ARE still that amazing person and you WILL recover from this with the truth, education, self-compassion, introspection, and time. You are an amazing person to have come this far and you will survive and recover from this! No/minimal contact is the ONLY way to end the abuse and move forward to healing and recovery! Greg

Posted on December 24, 2019, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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