There is NO you or I in a relationship with a Narcissist – we must understand the truth that we are all just taking our turn with them as supply!

There is NO you or I in a relationship with a Narcissist – we must understand the truth that we are all just taking our turn with them as supply!

From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist

What is Narcissistic Supply? It is YOU and ME, and anybody else that finds themselves in the grasp of a Narcissist. In other words we are never alone because they have MANY other sources they are manipulating and using – we just SEEM to be their one and only. With a Narcissist there is never a best friend, the love of their life, a beloved child of theirs. or anything but a utilitarian object to use! No matter how big of a production they put on to secure us into their world we are JUST another object and one of many. We are TOOLS that serve a distinct purpose! Our purpose is like a drug to serve their addiction for all things to support their dependence on external reinforcement – or again OBJECTS that serve any one of their main needs that support the fantasy land they live in.

In the overall design of things, misfortune to others does not matter to the Narcissist when they have objectified a human being to obtain their drug of choice or “supply.” It is solely based on what this person has to offer, or what can be taken from this person, and this must resonate in the Narcissist’s grand scheme of things. The Narcissist is convinced of their uniqueness (omnipotence) and basically we are there to serve their needs – they are delusional in this manner BUT smart enough to know they are just too dysfunctional to attract any other human being without their lies or mask. There are no written laws that the Narcissist will comply with when it comes to how they treat other people.

There are no human rights involved either and it is DESIGNED to be that way! Basically we are there for their use and they completely exploit everything they can from us – mentally and physically. They feel no remorse in their acts of deviance to secure supply in the least bit – NOR will they ever admit to their scam or offer any closure – in FACT they will try to destroy anyone that tries to expose them. Lies, betrayal, manipulation, etc., are only tools to extract what they need before they move on to the next and the next and the next. They have perfected and honed these tools to work to their utmost advantage to meet their needs in EVERY situation.

It is not limited to familiar people in the Narcissist’s life though. A Narcissist will seek out perfect strangers to secure ‘extra’ or ‘more’ supply. This will more than likely be physical/sexual in nature like a one night stand with a perfect stranger. Basically it amounts to betraying their ‘loving’ partner with their many out-of-control affairs without a concern, care or thought to how they hurt a person they are in a relationship with, after all it is just extra supply for the Narcissist and it serves them. More than often we are ‘none the wiser’ to their torrid affairs and perverted lifestyle – but look at how easily they have moved on – that did NOT happen overnight – that is just someone they hid on the side that they now see as new and more viable supply – there is always somebody they have in the wings waiting. If we are a friend, etc. – they are betraying us with other friends with backstabbing. smearing, etc., because they must always be in control of their many sources of supply – THIS is who they are. But my point here with this particular example is that WE are not the only person they source out for supply. We may be the ‘consistent’ and day by day supply, but by far we are not the only one!

The Narcissist does not even REMOTELY consider the person who is their supply as a person at all – again we are just a tool to use. They compartmentalize all of their sources and create different worlds for each person to get constant supply and keep everyone separate from the other sources. We minimize the truth by believing we are the only person in a relationship with them and NEVER see the whole picture and they keep it that way by controlling us to keep believing in THEM. Furthermore, a Narcissist does not allow individuality in a person because they objectify us and categorize us by what we can provide for them or how they can benefit from us – we all have our separate roles to support them! If you are supplying a Narcissist you may find yourself being treated as if you are basically a part of the Narcissist – or clinically and extension of them. In the Narcissists mind, there is no boundary between themselves and other people. You have no identity, reason or purpose other than to feed them. They are a parasite and you are the host and they are out to suck every ounce of life out of you that they can.

Anyone – be it a male or female that expresses and type of awe, wonderment, gratitude or praise for the Narcissist’s accomplishments and performance, OR their looks, skills, talent or anything else is readily accepted and pulled into their world. Anyone that expresses complete and unending gratitude for anything/everything the Narcissist has ever done for them, said to them, or told them is also readily accepted and pulled into their world. Also anyone who expresses sympathy and agreement with the Narcissist’s self-perception that he/she is God’s gift to an undeserving world. Anyone who shows complete adoration and compliments/supports the Narcissist for their amazing mind, body, special spiritual connections, job, car, home, clothing, style, and wisdom, etc.
Also anyone willing to give up their time, MONEY, attention, or life in order to meet all the Narcissist’s needs.

The Narcissist is completely entitled, special and above people so much so that they (Narcissist) should not be subject to normal rules, regulations, or laws – AND they even find supporters for their MANY grievances with life and people – or their minions . So, who becomes their faithful minions or protectors in life: Anyone willing to join the Narcissist’s team, and show righteous indignation for his/her suffering, which is FAR greater than most and always undeserved no matter what! Anyone that will join the Narcissist’s battle to destroy people they (the Narcissist) has intentionally harmed as well as support their destructive agenda. Anyone who shows complete agreement that the Narcissist is so special, misunderstood by the entire world, and under-appreciated. Anyone that is willing to overlook the occasional, or repeated violations and exploitation of them for any reason becomes special and ARE ACCEPTED AND PULLED INTO THE NARCISSIST’S WORLD and become SUPPLY! None of us are better than the next source or previous source, WE ARE ALL SUPPLY period. Everybody is a puppet that the Narcissist manipulates to create their false world. Look behind the Narcissist and you will see many puppets they have used/destroyed and then thrown into the garbage after they have served their purpose! Look in front of them and you will see many OTHER sources of supply too. AGAIN, the Narcissist even sources out their minions to stand up for and support that the Narcissist is innocent of ANY wrong doing so they can bury you alive with more lies!

One thing that is very important to understand and that is to differentiate between what you believe is real in your connection with them – like love and the reality of the Narcissist’s TRUE agenda. Narcissists will cling to you as their main source of supply or as long as you are serving them and giving your all! But the second they find someone with more supply than you, they are gone and they have damaged you, your integrity, and your life and extorted most everything that they could get away with. They will leave you in a heartbeat and never look back as well as blame you as being the problem. They will leave their biological children behind as well so they can move onto their next source and a new family and community to support them.

These creatures JUST DON’T care because everyone is just an object. Unfortunately you also loved them and believed in them and somehow thought that if you gave everything you could things would change or perhaps the Narcissist would change! No they were reaping the benefits of their agenda and game plan and sucking your life dry. THIS is the extent of the relationship with them – that huge image of LOVE that you have spent many years developing with them, pursuing, tendering, holding onto, etc., is what they used to COMPLETELY support their agenda to make sure they were able to tap you as a source for their SUPPLY. The Narcissist’s manipulation tactics were seamless enough to fool you so COMPLETELY – so DON’T let it ever fool you again! This is the whole truth in a nutshell that you must accept as reality even after all the time you put into them. You have to stop believing anything about them AND immediately or they will keep coming back for more because this is what they do, BUT THEY WILL NEVER CHANGE OR STOP ABUSING AND EXTORTING!

However if you leave them first you are likely to experience a Narcissistic rage and a battle that will NOT end until they have punished you for leaving them! Your integrity will be smeared to anyone and everyone and you will be made out to be the abuser! But they will also destroy your integrity if they are the first to discard you. They destroy people as a result of knowing them or being in any type of relationship with them! Remember this – their ‘HATE-bombing’ will be just as overwhelming as their ‘LOVE-bombing!’

It is not hard to fall into this abuse no matter how strong you are. Narcissists are skilled liars and they NEED us as supply to survive – just predators after prey. I fell for all of the lies and stories just like the rest of us have. I may not be the smartest banana in the bunch but I am by far not stupid but I was horribly conned by a Narcissist too. When I look back at it all with a clear head sometimes I feel that I was a bit stupid for believing the incredulous lies, but then again I can sort through all of this with the education and knowledge about these creatures as my saving grace by understanding the cycle of this abuse and the similarities that we all experience with them. Narcissists use manipulation, fear and control as the basis of their abusive agenda BUT ONY AFTER they have first manipulated us into believing they love us or manipulating our good emotions. That was just to gain our trust so they could start sucking the life out of us. Why do you think that the ‘new’ target believes the incredulous lies and false persona? Because the Narcissist makes a career out of extorting people’s lives through their distorted lies and manipulation.

I could pass on all of my many articles I have written to whomever my Narcissist has as a new source of supply but once they are pulled into the abusive Narcissist’s world they are clinging onto the same false beliefs that we did. I could send proof to new supply that my Narcissist is out there on every sex site and having many affairs, but until a new target sees this for themselves they will reject the truth that is right there in front of them – so leave it to them to figure it out. I was conned and believed the horrendous lies until I pulled away and sourced out the truth. These are dark creatures that employ extreme manipulation techniques from day one to capture our trust and use it against us! New supply will have to get their own ‘ah ha’ moment and that will definitely happen because Narcissists are very careless and their needs always outweigh rational or conventional thinking and that Narcissist HAS to act on every opportunity to get some supply just like a heroin addict has to get that drug! DISCARD THEM COMPLETELY from your head, heart, and life. Greg

Posted on December 13, 2019, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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