A little more education on the subtle, slow, AND effective day to day abuse tactics of a Narcissist that exploits and disables our LOGIC, worth, spirit and self-esteem. Narcissists are gatherers of our personal information – the good. the bad, and the ugly – that they will use AND distort in every possible way to DAMAGE and destroy their targets/victims NORMAL!
A little more education on the subtle, slow, AND effective day to day abuse tactics of a Narcissist that disables our LOGIC, worth, spirit and self-esteem. Narcissists are gatherers of our personal information – the good. the bad, and the ugly – that they will use AND distort in every possible way to DAMAGE and destroy their targets/victims NORMAL!
From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist
FACT – they exploit everybody! The Narcissist is a shrewd and keen observer of all humans and has successfully developed strong and manipulative communication skills USING the very personal information they have uncovered about us to invalidate and manipulate our own perceptions about ourselves and distort all logic and reasoning rendering OUR communication with them useless. All interpersonal communication becomes twisted, and an opportunity to make us feel invalidated, wrong and basically worthless. This within itself is often overlooked (the subtle abuse) but it is as dangerous as any of their other tools in the arsenal of Narcissistic abuse!
A Narcissist doesn’t acknowledge individuality or even like other people (remember we are just objects to use). Along with this premise the Narcissist doesn’t care about being liked – THEY EXPECT and even DEMAND to be admired, feared, and favored, (as well as completely extorting their targets to get supply.) They don’t care about getting along with people, and a Narcissist is no more capable of considering the consequences of their actions than a rock would – AS LONG AS THEY GET THEIR WAY. There is no consideration for anybody or anything with a Narcissist and nothing is ever about whatever it REALLY is, instead it is always all about their omnipotence, superiority or ego instead — or their fake façade. They HAVE to exploit EVERY single interaction with us to gratify THEIR needy ego at your ego’s expense or even DESTRUCTION. There’s no end to it. It’s exasperating and you never get through that brick wall a Narcissist throws up in front of you constantly, so always remember how much time you have tried to break down barriers to “fix” things. Everything would just bounce back to you as more blame and shame from the Narcissist. It was a relationship that was meant to deny you every bit of gratification or any “giving” from the Narcissist and instead “taking” every bit of gratification (supply) they could for their vast needy void.
So to encapsulate this Narcissists play pathological games to break us down or to CONTROL us. This is done for the sole purpose of extracting all they can by confusing and disabling us – AND from multiple targets at the same time (factor in their daily interactions with friends, family at their workplace, etc.) There is never one real working relationship with anybody that DOESN’T include this abhorrent manipulation. We are all a means to an end with a Narcissist and that is extracting their supply and destroying people! Remember supply is many things to them – be it attention, adoration, people, physical items, power, or anything and everything because the empty void that defines them is like a vortex and needs CONSTANT fixes of ‘supply!’ They extort everything they can from a person or situation because it MUST be about THEM.
Narcissists are dishonest; they give mixed signals, always running hot and cold. They triangulate everybody by playing people against one another to maintain control AND they avoid real commitment because it doesn’t exist in a world where there is no give and all take – they are life’s extortionists.
Just watch their unnatural facial expressions when they are telling one of their fantastic stories (lies), or pretending to take the higher ground, etc. — their face says it all with the unnatural and even forced expressions – you can even feel it when they are talking. NOW – disagree with them or question what they are saying and watch their anger rise up as well as how they will attack the very person that threatens them. Their life boils down to many theatrical roles – so never believe they are better off because you will not find a real person in there at all.
Narcissists do not think the same way the rest of us do as far as it concerns empathy, love, and support because it would allow us to be individuals that think independently of their controlling and abusive nature. What is personally good, fun, logical, and reasonable to us, is the absolute opposite to them and unnatural – again THIS is what leads us to our ‘Ah Ha’ moment. It’s one of the reasons people get so frustrated, confused and ABUSED by Narcissists. We would never consider diminishing someone we care for OR intentionally making someone angry or fearful of us – especially someone we care for, value or love – NOR would we use words as ammunition to wound someone. To the Narcissist making someone angrier, fearful, invalidating them and using it against them is natural and their goal in life OR controlling their victim They are big cowards that always lurk in the shadows to hide their identity with their lies, manipulation and perverted lifestyle. Control is power in their world! Trust your intuition and empower yourself with truth and clarity. No/Minimal contact!