A Narcissist has one main function and that is to control and objectify each and every person that is involved in their lives and to secure SUPPLY.

A Narcissist has one main function and that is to control and objectify each and every person that is involved in their lives and to secure SUPPLY.

From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist

Once you enter into Narcissist-ville you sign away your right to freedom or individuality, and you better be ready to become an indentured servant to the Narcissist, as well as take your emotional beatings regularly. Your lawful rights are striped from you and you are now under the rule of a sadistic dictator that lacks any and all emotions and empathy – and there is no way to escape their rule unscathed or damaged. The Narcissist intends to control people through negativity, harm, and fear. This is how the Narcissist maintains their reign of control and that is through emotional and psychological manipulation. It is an epic relationship with them because they start you out on this journey by loving you – or so they say to open the door to their abusive world!

At any given moment there are lies to cover the their delusional truths, manipulation to confound and confuse you, betrayal to hurt what you believe is real, back-stabbing to undermine your integrity, triangulation to destroy your immediate circle of friends and family, love-bombing to make you believe the Narcissist is true to you, blame and shame to make you believe you are the destructive force in this relationship, WITHHOLDING to condition you to react as the Narcissist wants you to, raging to make you fearful of your existence, hate to reduce you to feeling anguish, name calling or making fun of you to steal your self-esteem, projection to make you out to be the force behind the destruction, denying you any semblance of your own reality, silencing to invalidate your individualism, punishment to make you accept their way or accept harm as a consequence, smearing to destroy your complete integrity so the Narcissist can escape exposure, AND many more avenues that a disordered Narcissist will travel to abuse their target/victim. We must never allow this to be defined as just a personality disorder and give it credence and acceptability – IT IS DESTRUCTIVE AND DEBILITATING EMOTIONAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE!

Psychological abuse is a process whereby the abuser conditions or manages the target/victim down through subtle to extreme CONTROL. As I outlined above there are so many tactics that a Narcissist uses to do this so that every aspect of the target/victim’s conscious world is manipulated into dealing with the abuse tactics and this diverts and warps a target/victim’s reality over time and traumatizes them. It becomes a 24/7 or full time job as it concerns the target/victim dealing with so many mind games that are thrown their way. It literally causes their world to fall apart around them.

The conditioning a Narcissist uses changes behaviors and manipulates the victim’s normal reality and transforms it into some form of fear for the target/victim where they are always having to react. Fear can be interpreted as many things with emotional and psychological abuse – fear that the target/victim BELIEVES they really have mental health issues, fear of abandonment, fear of punishment, fear of loss, fear of rage, fear of destruction at the hands (or better yet the mouth) of a Narcissist, fear of being harmed, fear of isolation, and fear of not being worthy of love AND life.

This conditioning process ALSO puts the target/victim into a place of trust first where they are joined at the hip with their abuser. Clinically the Narcissist ‘love bombs’ the target/victim literally to death to create this strong emotional bond so they can easily achieve their agenda to pillage, extort and destroy their target/victim’s reality, mind, and soul. It conditions the target/victim to value the Narcissist above themselves because the Narcissist successfully managed the target/victim down so they DON’T value themselves anymore. It is a constant barrage of a combination of manipulative and negative actions as well as the LACK of positive and supportive actions. It is also punishing the victim through silencing, raging, ignoring, criticizing, and forcing them into complete compliance. The target/victim is forced to only consider what the Narcissist needs are, and the Narcissist NEVER considers a single need of the target/victim.

The Narcissist disallows individualism in favor of this complete compliance and adoration of themselves. Failure to do so will only lead to stronger attacks of anger or rage to comply or else. There is no reward for meeting the Narcissist’s needs because they will demand more and more. The target/victim is drained of their self-esteem, worth, and reality and the Narcissist will only go in for the kill with more dehumanizing, destruction and ‘smearing’ their target/victim and then abandoning them and moving on to abuse another.

With all of this in mind is there anything that is as equally insidious as far as what this abuse does to a good, loving, caring, and moral person that lives with empathy at the core of their reality. NO and I say it again as a survivor of this abuse that has lived within this destructive lifestyle and lived with what was a battle to regain my integrity and life back. This is not a simple matter of going into recovery, it is like learning to walk again, seeing the goodness once more that does exist in life, learning to trust people, rebuilding yourself financially, and basically starting over after being infected by a contagious, destructive, and personality disordered Narcissist.

The Narcissist will always manage EVERYBODY down and condition us to believe that their every action/word (abuse) is a reality that we must accept because we don’t deserve any better. A Narcissist wants your reality, your goodness, and basically your life and to completely accept them as ‘perfect’ or jump ship and drown without them.

Posted on October 19, 2019, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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