Sticks and Stones may Break your Bones, but a Narcissist’s words will Emotionally and Psychologically ABUSE you!

Sticks and Stones may Break your Bones, but a Narcissist’s words will Emotionally and Psychologically ABUSE you!

From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist

You have been abused. You are a target/victim of abuse. You were systematically targeted, betrayed, and deceived by a disordered human being with a false mask of reality. A person manipulated you into liking them, getting to know them, trusting them and and even loving them. It was as real to you as it would have been to ANY OTHER human being that started out on a relationship journey. The experience of meeting somebody special and going through the process of dating and creating this relationship WAS NO DIFFERENT than what any other person would experience. BUT IT WAS DIFFERENT because you were being set up for abuse AND the relationship wasn’t REAL in the least bit, not even in the smallest way. It was all lies, a con job, manipulation, and a hideous betrayal. We mourn the loss of reality in our life, along with dreams, memories, time together, small laughs and shared experiences. We mourn the loss of our life as if a part of us was suffocated or died from this hideous abuse. Our emotional scars cause us to doubt and question the truth of this ugly reality. We are merely disposable objects to them, and that is incomprehensible to us.

MOST PEOPLE have no knowledge or understanding of the emotional/psychological abuse or of a Narcissist as well as the effects of the trauma. It is akin to a prisoner of war being released back into captivity and life as usual when that is not even near a possibility or reality for the prisoner OR the target/victim of a Narcissist that needs serious help to return to the normal life they once lived. It seems more like the target/victim instead stands in judgment from most of the people nearest and dearest to them.

This type of abuse has exposed you to horrible manipulation, betrayal, resounding fear and terror because of the coercive methods from the Narcissist as well as dehumanizing control. Most people just presume that they would show greater courage, strength, and resistance than the victim in similar circumstances. They will just tell the target/victim to move on and allow time to heal the wounds. What does this message say OR do to the target/victim? It makes them BELIEVE that they ARE the source of their own problems. Time alone does not heal these wounds! Unfortunately for the target/victim there is the tendency to account for the target/victim’s behavior as flaws in THEIR personality as if they gave into or deserved the abuse because they did not leave the Narcissist. Nobody is listening to the real truth of your situation because it sounds so incredulous so the pleas for help are lost with the misinterpretation of your situation. Once AGAIN the target/victim is left with more isolation, damage, vulnerable AND alone to figure this out on their own. This is a very lonely and scary place to be!

It was pathological in such an extreme manner that it is just impossible to understand how another human being could be so cruel and abhorrent to lead a basically good, caring, and loving person down a road of psychological abuse that essentially could destroy or damage them for life. This is a feeling that nobody could ever understand – there are NO ADEQUATE words to describe the feeling of what this abuse does to a sane, loving and empathic person. To understand the time that is lost, the EXTREME betrayal, and the experience of feeling worthless AND punished for no other reason than the fact that you were at the wrong place at the WRONG time and chosen by a predator to be their next victim of abuse. It is incomprehensible and takes so much self-reflection, strength, courage, love, and validation and a new journey that we must embark upon to fix ourselves now. Sometimes it doesn’t happen because many targets/victims do not even understand that they have been abused, they are convinced that they were to blame and have issues concerning their mental health because the abuse was PYSCHOLOGICAL RAPE and MEANT to make them feel insane, crazy, etc. They were intentionally led down this road by a malignant Narcissist and the ABUSE has disabled them mentally so they also believe they ARE AT FAULT and live in that confusion and fog forever and NEVER recovering fully!

SAY NEVER! We never, never, never deserved this and most assuredly NEVER, EVER asked for this because of WHO we are. We wonder where our prince/princess charming has gone and WHAT HAS HAPPENED that made this go so wrong because now they are more like Dr. Jekyll and Mr./Ms. Hyde. Well the time has come that we HAVE to move forward and learn about these predators. We have ONE DIRECTION to go and that is forward and now it is time for some education about this abuse. We could only have wished we had known that this was abuse prior to this destructive experience – but how could we have known that this really existed and that there are predators out there like a psychologically abusive Narcissist.

Time to EDUCATE and LIBERATE yourself! Your knowledge will be your success in recovering. It will break the chain of this abuse OR thinking we can help them, cure them, use our ‘love’, fix and reverse this, change, plead, bargain or negotiate with this abuser. We quickly realize it is impossible and how the abuser wants us to react to keep us chained up in the chaos of this abuse. We will finally comprehend they have a problem we can’t possibly fix. Malignant Narcissists are masters at their game AND targeting our caring/nurturing instinct as well as capturing us through their fake ‘love.’ If you’ve been attempting to fix this over and over again, STOP and accept the inevitable failure of these attempts and accept the reality, they are what they are (abusive) and there is only one direction and that is OUT of their disordered world and free from them. We have to fix ourselves and right all the wrongs and return back to a real life and the living again. NO/minimal contact to start the process of recovery – we MUST discard this Narcissist from our heart, our mind, our thoughts and every aspect of our life and empower ourselves with positive healing. Greg

Posted on October 14, 2019, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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