The real definition of a Narcissist is that of a creature that totally lacks empathy so much so that they are preoccupied, obsessed, and focused on their every desire, pleasure and need that it completely blinds the Narcissist from reality and self-blame.
The real definition of a Narcissist is that of a creature that totally lacks empathy so much so that they are preoccupied, obsessed, and focused on their every desire, pleasure and need that it completely blinds the Narcissist from reality and self-blame. The Narcissist re-writes reality to fit his/her delusions with every new ‘con-job’ of life – it is like the Narcissist is an addict finding a new ‘hit’ of their drug of choice with the targets/situations they utilize to extort and harm. They relish the chase, the kill and of course the rewards!
From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in between with a Narcissist
Their modus operandi or the tools of their trade are manipulative words/actions, pathological lying, slander, back-stabbing, and a cunning personality like that of a fox! They lie to weasel their way in and out of any situation and come up smelling like a rose. They are pathological liars in every sense of the word and hide their hideous and perverted life. This is the sad reality of a human connection with them and keep that connection going and the reality turns personally disastrous and destructive as the truth becomes evident that they are not fully functioning human beings and they will take your life down with them.
You only have to watch the Narcissist as he/she grins at their own exploitive games that accompany their malicious actions. It reveals the reality that their behavior and intentions are as far removed from caring, loving or having any semblance of empathy. The Narcissist has one main goal and that is to trample each and every person that is involved in their lives. Once you enter into Narcissist-ville you sign away your right to freedom or individuality, and you better be ready to become an indentured servant to the Narcissist, as well as take your beatings regularly. Your lawful rights are striped from you and you are now under the rule of a sadistic dictator and there is no way to escape their rule unscathed or damaged. The Narcissist intends to control people through negativity, harm, and fear. This is how the Narcissist maintains their evil reign of terror. It is an epic relationship with them because they start you out on this journey by loving you – or so they say to open the door to their abusive world!
Admitting faults, or taking responsibility for their harmful actions would take some degree of empathy of which they have NONE. It is virtually impossible for the Narcissist to put themselves in other people’s shoes and seeing him/herself as causing harm and destruction because they are so obsessed with THIER many needs. Not only is the Narcissist incapable of this it also repulses them to believe they are anything less than perfect. Remember the Narcissist is omnipotent and as such is superior and always in charge of their delusional world. They will never put themselves in a position where they would even consider anything negative or wrong about their own self-absorbed and tyrannical nature – this would be a weakness on their part. This superior concept that the Narcissist maintains is consistently mirrored in everything they do. We all end up failing to meet their needs so we will be dismissed by this grand dictator. Remember the Narcissist’s self-absorbed perspective defines humanity as existing only to serve his/her immediate needs.
Their life boils down to an accumulation of targets/victims, sexual partners, and whatever property gains they manage to extort. As many spouses know Narcissists will have children with them as well, and sometimes children to other spouses or partners. It is sort of like a collection of human beings for the Narcissist or better yet objects that have no emotional depth or the chance of a worthwhile life with this Narcissist as a real parent. Malignant Narcissist are so heartless and callous that they reject their own children, once they devalue and discard the target/victim spouse. BUT they will portray themselves as the BETTER spouse that is a complete care giver to these children, often taking credit for things the abused spouse has done in reality.
The Narcissist can’t change and, most importantly, they DON’T want to change. They inhabit a fantasy world which becomes reality for them and those they manage to brainwash. There is no reality or truth for any person that resides in their world. It is a train wreck waiting to happen and there are always many victims. In their world the truth and falsehood only hold instrumental meaning as they apply it to a situation and there is absolutely no morality contained in any of their thoughts or actions.
We must remember that at the core of the Narcissist psychopathy is a mindset governed by their grandiosity, lack of empathy for others, and a grand sense of entitlement and superiority that places them above laws and morality. The Narcissist grossly overestimates their abilities and accomplishments and underestimates the complete being of their target/victim. Simply put, the Narcissist believes they should be able to do anything they wish, however harmful and destructive, because the Narcissist is better than others. In the Narcissist’s mind, by making us a part of their wonderful life by mere association with them, he/she passes on to us this grandiosity as if they are royalty and that is our reward. It is ridiculous and repulsive that they can believe this nonsense and more akin to pompousness and arrogance. Add to this that everything about them is a lie – and they are aware of that, but within their grandiosity it is just another day, another lie, another manipulation, another con, and another person they have harmed – and that is no big deal to THEM because it works for them!
It is hard if not impossible to fully wrap our heads around the outlandish behavior of a Narcissist or their psychopathic mindset so we really shouldn’t try to as it relates to and describes our abuse. Narcissists believe the truth they create at the moment they need it to provide them with new opportunities – there is no rhyme or reason to it. I believe they even have their own language and it is delusional at its basis and only ‘doubletalk,’ with their circular conversations, lies, and vast manipulation to always and ONLY meet their agenda to extort other people’s lives. NO/minimal contact always – DISCARD this abuser out of your life, heart, and mind forever because they are dangerous to your well-being! Greg