STOP believing in them and empower yourself with positive solutions to reclaim your healthy life – the one you deserve! Narcissists do NOT possess any EMPATHY whatsoever!

STOP believing in them and empower yourself with positive solutions to reclaim your healthy life – the one you deserve! Narcissists do NOT possess any EMPATHY whatsoever!

From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist

I finally stopped believing when I realized I was compromising my own emotional and psychological well-being when my head just froze up with too much confusion, too many justifications to stretch my beliefs, and bending my emotions too much to meet the Narcissist’s needs and getting out of this horrendous relationship became my primary and only process. I was constantly spinning my wheels trying to always believe in what only amounted to lies and manipulation in EVERY aspect of this relationship with this Narcissist. This awakening AND the truth were the real miracle for me that got me away from this Narcissist and searching for the truth, validation, support, real information, and positive solutions.

This is psychological abuse in a nutshell, a hideous and destructive daily betrayal by a disordered Narcissist. I wish I could put it into better words for those out there that are still justifying their life away and sinking deeper and deeper in this emotional/psychological abuse. Believing them only takes more and more of your reality away and they will take you down all the way if you keep believing in them and leave you with NOTHING!

Even after realizing that you are dealing with a Narcissistic personality with all the cheating, lying, shouting, criticizing, raging, making fun of you, and all of the other unpleasant things that are occurring on a regular basis, it can still be incredibly difficult to break off the relationship even though you know a Narcissist is not going to change his or her behavior. Their mental hooks are buried very deep in our heads – and thoughts of ending the relationship (whatever type it is) can create feelings of hopelessness, depression, sadness, anxiety and trauma! Remember the Narcissist has been conditioning us in a manner to confound our every thought and action. It is sometimes an impossible feat for a target/victim to wrap their head completely around just how disordered a Narcissist is. Where do we pull this information from because this is more than likely our first experience with a Narcissist, so we defer to what we know about ‘normal’ human relationships and that is as different as apples and oranges?

One reason healing and recovery is slow and we fall backwards is because we need to be educated about this abuse FIRST because we have had no real experience to really understand it as well as why we reacted as we did and fell into these destructive patterns. When all is said and done we are dealing with what we believe are those normal emotions and the withdrawal of breaking up, but it is much deeper because it was emotional/psychological abuse!

To truly understand this abuse and how we managed to live with it (and through it) as well as the destructive unhealthy patterns, we need to purge everything out of us so ‘time’ is part of the equation of recovery, and EVERYBODY recovers at their own pace. BUT your voice is the very first step to validating this abuse by talking about it and finding your way to other people that have experienced the exact same patterns that you have and then from there the truth will light your way to recovery. A Narcissist is NEVER going to tell the truth about anything yet alone offer any type of closure or admit that they abused you, so remove them from the equation completely – this is about you becoming healthy again. Once they KNOW you are on to them they start maligning and destroying you to your immediate world (friends, family, co-workers) because they fear exposure. They start on their horrendous smear campaign to make you out to be everything wrong, a liar, damaged, mentally ill, etc., and basically destroying your integrity. That is just more of the abuse and again them displaying MORE chaos and diversions to keep you under their control, silenced, and dragging you back into the emotional and psychological manipulation, confusion, and TRAUMA. So, information is healing power and we need this from the experience of others to lead us in the right direction so we don’t keep stumbling and falling back into the abuse. It is not within our realm of understanding so it keeps us continually wrapped up with self-doubt and justifications and we can’t allow ourselves to be locked up in this abuse.

Recovery is a process that demands that we separate ourselves from the Narcissist that is inside of us as the result of living or being with that Narcissist. The Narcissist has crippled you (us) and assigned you a role as they do to every target/victim. We HAD to develop coping mechanisms with him/her and we don’t want that anymore because it was purely manipulation. EVERY day we were forced (controlled) to “walk on eggshells” and we lose our identity to support their every need and we bury ourselves deeper and deeper into this abuse. The pain we feel is abuse and a direct result of the elaborate arsenal of tools that the Narcissist uses and the result of the trauma and abuse inflicted upon you (us) by the Narcissist.

You have the heart, soul and mind to grow from this destructive time you spent with them. You can love again and you have the spirit and goodness from your past life to reprocess yourself and bring yourself back again. Unlike a Narcissist that is in a constant battle with life, you are resilient because you know unconditional love that heals and have empathy to grow as rational, functioning and normal human beings do! Don’t waste any of your precious time thinking about them because they are not giving you a single thought – know this as the truth! No/minimal contact to move forward! Greg

Posted on October 8, 2019, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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