Don’t fall for ANY of it – their lies, manipulation, or ABUSE! What they APPEAR to be and what they really are – CON ARTISTS and emotionally manipulative ABUSERS that WANT something! Don’t fall for any of their antics.

Don’t fall for ANY of it – their lies, manipulation, or ABUSE! What they APPEAR to be and what they really are – CON ARTISTS and emotionally manipulative ABUSERS that WANT something! Don’t fall for any of their antics.

From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and everything else in Between with a Narcissist

Narcissists work extremely hard at making themselves believable as it concerns their overt lies and myths about themselves BECAUSE THEY HAVE AN AGENDA TO EXTORT! They arm themselves with a vast array of learned information they have harvested through their observations of other humans. They acquire and then wear, personalize or enhance this information as if it is truly theirs because they lack the basic component of EMPATHY. So what is the goal with all of this? To snag you into his/her Narcissistic lair to make you supply them with the things they need and can’t get because they are a dark and manipulative personality that envies life, love and people.

They can incessantly talk and talk about most anything without skipping a beat with their interesting information. They are human chameleons that study and imitate the human condition, but with a goal to further their power by enhancing their stature and influence the people around them to get what they crave, and that is admiration, attention and supply. Undoubtedly, they exaggerate their every claim and position in their life. They are addicted to this omnipotence and we are what they need to use as a mirror to see this amazing reflection of themselves. Unfortunately, what they do in the darkness without a care to the people that love them is also part of the equation with their ability to tell an amazing story to cover up their out-of-control lifestyle or basically lie.

They lie to weasel their way in and out of any situation and come up smelling like a rose. They are pathological liars and controllers in every sense of the word and hide their hideous and perverted life. This is the sad reality of a human connection with them and when you keep that connection alive it turns personally disastrous and destructive as the truth becomes evident that they are not fully functioning human beings and they will take your life down with them.

The Narcissist plays on your vulnerabilities, fear, guilt, compassion, and values to get what they want. They have gained your trust by making you believe they were in whatever relationship they needed to be in with you. This could include threats to end the relationship, silencing or a “cold shoulder,” punishment, or other fear tactics. A Narcissist believes and projects an attitude of being omnipotent or all powerful, but they are really trying to conquer their targets/victims. They need to be in control of others and must have everything their way or they will resort to threats or any other methods to achieve total submission in people. Eventually, the target/victim loses the battle and becomes a prisoner to the Narcissist and the abuse. Just imagine the number of years a target/victim is subjected to this hideous brainwashing and the resulting damage!

You are left with so many conflicting messages that keep you trapped in extreme emotional confusion because this is what the Narcissist wants. By doing this the Narcissist uses us like a yo-yo on a string, constantly forcing you down and then pulling you back up again – perpetual, disordered and dizzying motion to control you and keep you off balance. You don’t have time to clearly think or see the forest for the trees. This is a person that initially proclaimed a real love for you that you invested in AND believed was real. Suddenly that image turns completely around and what was love is now contempt through subtle BUT direct attacks of your integrity to erode our well-being. From there the Narcissist escalates these attacks and they turn into rage, silencing, and punishment to take you completely down and finish the job or the devaluation phase AND then the smear campaign to destroy your integrity.

People do not intentionally hurt people, as well as take advantage of their emotions, or betray their trust! Narcissists will and do FOR SURE to control people! When someone’s actions are unexplainable and fall outside your normal realm of understanding, belief system or moral code, it is not because you ARE the bad person, OR you deserve this behavior, INSTEAD it is because there is ultimately something VERY wrong with THEM. Somehow you have to internalize and encapsulate this message so that you steer away from the tendency to blame yourself as well as to assure that you don’t in turn apply compassion to forgive your abuser for harming or destroying you because this was intentional. This is why it is tricky as far as putting the correct spin on the truth! You must also consider your personal safety at all times!

You will come out of this. You will form new and strong boundaries. You will reflect on your own inner conflicts and resolve them. You will grow with the knowledge that there are bad and even evil people out there that can and will destroy you. You will learn to differentiate the reality of good and bad in life and seek out the goodness in others and return it naturally as it should be. You will find what is important in life and live with an inner peace from knowing this horrid adversity. It is a life changing reality when someone psychologically rapes and terrorizes your mind. It is an unnecessary evil but you now realize it existed in your world and you will protect yourself at all costs from returning to this Narcissist or allowing a similar toxic or abusive person into your life. It all starts with no/minimal contact to break the chain around your neck! It also requires that you accept the reality of a Narcissist and NEVER return as in trying to figure them out, understand them, and feel a need to help them or associate with anything that concerns them. Put all of that away so you can put positive energy into yourself and your recovery! Greg

Posted on September 27, 2019, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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