Narcissists are totally disconnected from people and from THEMELVES and their life is a mix of facades and masks used to benefit all of their needs, avoid exposure, control people, and hide their disconnect from life and total lack of empathy for mankind. We have to understand and accept that their is no real person or reality in their world.

Narcissists are totally disconnected from people and from THEMELVES and their life is a mix of facades and masks used to benefit all of their needs, avoid exposure, control people, and hide their disconnect from life and total lack of empathy for mankind. We have to understand and accept that their is no real person or reality in their world.

From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist.

They morph into whatever they need to be at any given moment because they are opportunists always ready to take advantage of a new opportunity or seeking out their next source of supply. Their so-called personality or persona is ONLY a working component to support their agenda that lacks ANY real substance. There is absolutely nothing to them beyond their needs that they act on like an addict looking for their next fix.

A normal person can make connections with their own feelings and emotions (empathy) and this connection with one’s own feelings allows them to develop and live in accordance with real values that allow them to function to include other people in their world or bonding. A normal person that has developed a real value system does not violate this system by intentionally USING and harming other people. Society has rules that separate us as the normal functioning human being with the opposite being a non-functioning or not fully functioning human being. Given that Narcissists are emotionally dead, then it follows they lack these internal mechanisms, so they also lack constraint for their actions and impulses, and vast neediness – so the Narcissist fits the category of non-functioning human being. They live in an out-of-control world where they serve their every whim/need because there are no internal constraints to stop them from acting on whatever they want. They lack empathy, so they just don’t care and are not accountable for their negative and hurtful actions. People become their objects to use for their short term or long term needs as well as abuse. They are the great manipulators in life!

This was a manufactured connection, relationship, or love that was meant to completely con you. Your concepts of this so-called connection or relationship that you held near and dear to your heart was mirrored back to you and your reality was manipulated to believe in them. If it WAS love, you were in love or WHAT YOU BELIEVD WAS REAL LOVE. Love is the strongest human emotion and bond in the world, and you felt it with all of your heart and soul which is not anything out of the ordinary or unique because it happens every day. BUT it was unique because it was a manufactured love that psychologically damaged you.

Your whole belief system has been thrown out the window! Your spirit must heal from this loss however traditional it felt or non-traditional as it was (abusive) it is/was because your feelings or love was still very real to YOU! Unfortunately, you must also heal from the emotional and psychological damage as well. But, and the most important message you can internalize is that you DIDN’T ask for this abuse, nor were YOU to blame for any part of this, you are NOT a fool, and you did NOT deserve this. You were conned into this and it was easy for the Narcissist to do because emotions are very normal, familiar, and strong – so they weaponized it to trap you, control you, use you, harm you, betray, you, and essentially abuse you. Validation and knowledge are powerful tools in gaining your freedom and starting on your road to recovery. You ARE stronger than you know because you survived this abuse and are here to tell your story – you are that amazing!

SO, the why and the explanation: The Narcissist is incapable of any bond or love because at the core of his/her narcissism is the total refusal to revere others as individuals or to truly love and appreciate others as ‘another’ self, equal to the omnipotent Narcissist – they relate to objects. It is a fortress or huge wall created from their total lack of empathy that is weak and wobbly because it always comes tumbling down and the Narcissist shows their true colors with their debasing and dehumanizing mannerisms because that is who they really are. What the Narcissist loves is the false self he/she has created and that he/she needs to see reflected in the affirmation and supply from others to feel real and alive. They are actors and actresses picking and choosing their roles and perfecting them to receive their ‘Emmy’ award or better yet SUPPLY from their audience. It is basically a symbiotic relationship where the Narcissist is more akin to a TICK feeding on us to survive, as well as infecting us with their poisonous saliva that can and will disable us. We are just a source to feed them, entertain them, and cover their disfigured and abusive lifestyle. After being objectified and abused we are then blamed/shamed and destroyed as if in a ritualistic way to remove ANY and ALL accountability from the Narcissist because he/she can never allow themselves to see the reality of their disordered life and the destruction they cause – EVER. This is the truth about their superiority or omnipotence – it is as flimsy as their reality in this world.

The Narcissist creates the terms of how THEY measure life – so if they were a “tape measure or a ruler”, they would determine the dynamics of each and every measurement OR define every inch of every foot – and you can believe that it would not be consistent as it is SUPPOSE to be. The Narcissist has to be ‘that’ which measures (and judges) and NEVER that WHICH IS MEASURED and NEVER judged. Literally they “coin” the phrase “give them an inch and they will take a yard.” Well that and anything they can get their tentacles around.

Lastly the Narcissist can’t maintain their façade without exposing their true colors, and exposure is their greatest fear. So, the Narcissist exerts their last bit of power to annihilate the very source that could expose the truth – their target/victims. Hence all those clinical terms that describe the repercussions of our relationship with them like backstabbing and the ‘smear campaign’ and BOOM we are destroyed, done and gone forever. No-one is ever the wiser, so life goes on FOR THE NARCISSIST while we pay a debt for trying to care or love them normally. Don’t forget that there are always THOSE subjects that the Narcissist has been grooming while they were abusing us so there you go again – BOOM – they have a brand new ‘subject’ (target/victim) ready and waiting to serve them and new soldiers to protect their lies and shore up the fortress. Truthfully, they are a universal MESS and poisonous to all people!

Once we understand this we must internalize this as the truth and remove them as completely as we can from our lives and then concentrate on ourselves and healing. Greg

Posted on September 8, 2019, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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