ALWAYS follow up when your intuition tells you that something is terribly wrong. When those ‘Red Flags’ are waving in your face TRUST that something is very wrong, so step back and observe as if your life depends upon it!
ALWAYS follow up like a detective when your intuition tells you that something is terribly wrong. When those ‘Red Flags’ are waving in your face TRUST that something is very wrong, so step back and observe as if your life depends upon it!
From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist
The most dangerous predators among us are ingeniously masked, veiled or disguised. They carefully surround themselves with people entirely unlike themselves (their minions or flying monkeys.) Basically, deeply empathic human beings who see the goodness in others, wish to please others, and who are slow to judge and are excessively tolerant always having an eye for digging up the good to be found in others – they tolerate the Narcissist. Narcissists know how to exploit these kinds of people to their own advantage as well as exploit and wear their character traits. It is their association with these people that maximizes the Narcissists chances of perpetuating the most of their “FAUX” mask and façade keeping themselves away from being ‘found out’ or being exposed. Remember a Narcissist is really in conflict with themselves and in chronic anguish so they will keep up this façade as if a matter of life and death.
The awareness that others may have is a constant source of anxiety for the Narcissist and thus a huge need to control their immediate world. The Narcissist is also aware of the limitations surrounding their façade of lies. When people talk with one another, they begin to acquire a much larger perspective of things, that is, they begin to see a bigger picture of the Narcissist. The pathological narcissist CAN’T afford to have people talking amongst themselves and sharing stories. So, he/she will go to great lengths and carefully produce very devious and underhanded schemes to keep people divided. The Narcissist will create division among colleagues by planting lies about one person to another, and another about someone else. This can be a successful strategy because no one expects a highly intelligent adult to be carrying on like a scheming child or an emotionally disturbed adolescent. And since most of us avoid confrontation, it is much easier to believe the liar. This is the Narcissist’s damage control to protect their abusive agenda and keep an endless “SUPPLY.”
A Narcissist is completely pathological in every single aspect of how they relate to the people and world around them. Unfortunately, their world is completely delusional, one in which they do not allow individuality because they are absolute rulers (dictators) in that world. The unfortunate fact is that a Narcissist needs people in their lives to SURVIVE but they just don’t ‘like’ or ‘relate’ to people so it is a hideous, demeaning, debasing, ANGRY, and abusive coexistence that we get TRAPPED into. They do not have ‘relationships’ by any normal means, they live among us like zombies that are after our ‘brains’ or our ability to function normally because they attack our thought processes with extreme measures like gas-lighting, brainwashing, manipulation, and betrayal – ALL extremely abusive measures.
This is especially apparent with their ‘people skills’ or lack thereof. They have no viable or normal functioning interpersonal skills with anyone, and it is all about their needs and manipulating everyone to get what they want. So, with that function being completely null/void and DEAD, it follows that they have absolutely NO ability to relate to another human being in any normal manner, especially as it concerns empathy, compassion or LOVE – THIS is where we start to see what is truly behind that mask and that is when our intuition starts yelling at us that something is very wrong!
Narcissists do not think the same way the rest of us do as far as it concerns empathy, love, and support because it would allow us to be individuals that think independently of their controlling and abusive nature. What is logical and reasonable to us, is the absolute opposite to them and WE SEE IT IN TIME – again THIS is what leads us to our ‘Ah Ha’ moment. It’s one of the reasons healthy people get so frustrated, confused, and ABUSED by Narcissists. We would never consider diminishing someone we care for OR intentionally making someone angry – especially someone we care for, value or love – NOR would we use words as ammunition to wound someone. To the Narcissist making someone angrier, invalidating their concerns and using it against them is their goal in life. They are big cowards that always lurk in the shadows to hide their identity with their lies, manipulation and perverted lifestyle. Control is power in their world! Trust your intuition and empower yourself with truth and clarity. No/Minimal contact! Greg