The Narcissist is an EXTREME egomaniac and feels so deserving of everything in life – this is the totality of their infliction and what makes them a Narcissist because nothing else matters in their world except for their every need.
The Narcissist is an EXTREME egomaniac and feels so deserving of everything in life – this is the totality of their infliction and what makes them a Narcissist because nothing else matters in their world except for their every need. We are all stepping stones that they walk on and over to get what they want.
From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist
They feel that they are BETTER than everybody and deserving of EVRYTHING they want in life and they will take it no matter if they abuse people or break the law to do so and they just don’t care. They act as if they are royalty in life, and feel above and even insulted by any unworthy subjects – like YOU and I expecting his/her majesty’s affirmation or attention – we are there to serve. It is all part of the fictional novel going on in the Narcissist’s childish mind, that magnanimous work of fiction about themselves in which he/she is the star of a great masterpiece all about themselves.
In reality this is projection: Little children do the same thing in their play fantasies but THEY eventually grow up and deal in reality. The Narcissist totally IDENTIFIES with the fictional character of the day that he/she creates in that mirror that is you and me. WE have a bit part in this show as a character (one of many) that exists to reflect the Narcissist’s greatness through our interactions with them period. They will always share how amazing they are and how they have so many friends, how their family and children love them, etc. BUT in reality, what they share are usually bits and pieces of tiny truths that are ALWAYS the direct opposite. Their immediate family eventually rejects their hideous actions or perversions that they have inflicted on them, but it is always somebody else’s fault. Everybody else picks up the slack for these creatures like raising a family, paying the bills and keeping up the real responsibilities in life. The real relationship with them is no give and all take but never care or love, it is all about serving the Narcissist – the rest is their fictional story that you believe that locked you into what you believed was a relationship. In time you realized the truth when their words and actions never backed up the façade they personally created for you.
You will fall out of grace when your eyes reflect the disdain of their lies and manipulation and you will enter a battle with them where they will try to destroy you for making them face the reality of who they really are. They will just run off after they have tried to muddy up or destroy your integrity and start up a new life of abuse with someone else. Yet, deep down inside, the Narcissist is aware that their life is a sham, and they are vulnerable as far as being exposed and that is what they fear. They are always a step or ten ahead of the game and have gathered up every bit of personal information they can use against you to destroy your integrity so that your voice becomes weak and unheard when you start to speak out. Their out of control life is a constant reminder of how unstable their amazing world is AND how weak and feeble they really are! Clinically this is described as the Narcissist’s Grandiosity Gap – or it other words they are gift wrapped box that is EMPTY inside when you unwrap it.
NOW – a little bit of information on PROJECTION:
Imagine watching a movie on the big screen at a theater. To make the movie viable and ALIVE so that people can see the writer’s and director’s creation, it has to be PROJECTED onto a screen, otherwise it is just a canister of film that has no meaning. Basically, the Narcissist is an empty vessel that lacks reality, emotions and empathy, so like a writer/director they have to create a fictional story to be endearing, open, welcoming and charming to survive and live alongside all of us in the world. Then they have to project it onto and into their audience. Just like the writer/director the Narcissist reflects in the glory of their work on our faces! The movie is fictional to say the least and just one big gross lie but they make it as perfect as they can so they can profit from it.
This is how they justify the HUGE denial of their disordered life. If they are creating these amazing qualities to hide the truth, they are obviously cognizant or aware of just how damaged they are to HAVE to hide them. They can’t hold onto that awareness of being damaged and destructive, so THIS IS WHY they are projecting an altered and amazing persona. Just part of the process to create their false world as well as dragging us into it to see their own reflection through us! This process holds them together, so the truth doesn’t make their head implode. BUT always remember there is absolutely NOTHING real about them – let me repeat this again – NOTHING IS REAL ABOUT THEM!! They absolutely know this so when that damaged child starts surfacing after they have betrayed us, cheated, lied, stole or any number of things they need to dump those feelings of inadequacy and guilt ASAP – they HAVE to patch up that mask or false image to save themselves from seeing their REAL image or reflection? So they just dump it onto and into somebody else and that would be our role in all of this. We are the mirror or big screen and they are a self-contained fortress full of fake images to adorn themselves with as well as establish and enable some sort of reality to hide all of their damaged parts!
What is the main coefficient here? You, me and the rest of the world. Without us there is no way they can participate in life and achieve supply. They HAVE to live amongst us with a believable reality, but they can’t monitor or control their distorted needs, nor do they even see their destructiveness or perverted lifestyle as dysfunctional because they are too damaged and just don’t care. Everything you offer them be it care or unconditional love is used and abused so they can get what they want period. Their ‘projection’ is the tool they use to HIDE the truth and make us believe. Unfortunately that façade and mask slips because they obviously will get caught up in their lies and distortion, so they turn them right back around onto and into us as if we are abusive like them! They are very efficient abusers as it concerns hiding their reality to get what they want. We have to put ourselves in a position to truly understand that what they were doing was subjugation to each and every one of us and only destructive to US. No there is no real love or commitment as it concerns our time with them and there never will be. Once you get to this realization the pieces fall in place to help you actualize your position as an object that they only extorted and abused you!
The Narcissist can pretend to know everything, in every field of the human condition and is seamless with all of the knowledge that spills out. Again, they are all confabulations and lies that the Narcissist prevaricates to avoid the exposure of their real ignorance AND their dark world they MUST hide. Their knowledge and experience are just copycat information that has no basis of reality or is earned through realistic education, goals, hard work, relationship bonding, human compassion, real love, or anything else. AGAIN – they have no reality to back it up or empathy to understand life at any level! The Narcissist resorts to numerous prefabricated ‘imitations of life’ to support their God-like omnipotence. What goes on in the shadows is what really defines them and exists in their REAL world, and that is their vast neediness and out-of-control lifestyle that betrays all of life and love. You can take the power away from the Narcissist by removing yourself from their diabolical and delusional world and stop supplying them with your life. Start with no/minimal contact! Greg