They do murder their target’s soul, destroy lives, and then put MORE blame back onto the target with a ‘smear campaign’ to seal the deal! Knowledge and education is IMPERATIVE to moving on.
They do murder their target’s soul, destroy lives, and then put MORE blame back onto the target with a ‘smear campaign’ to seal the deal! Knowledge and education is IMPERATIVE to moving on. Do not let anybody tell you differently because it is the first step to moving onto recovery with clarity and a true diagnosis of what happened to us and that it is NOT us but situational abuse.
From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist
Take a moment and look at yourself after your abuse and then compare that to when you started out on this hideous journey with them. If you would seriously take inventory you would see so many levels of loss, to the point that this Narcissist has basically disabled you emotionally and psychologically. Write everything down in a journal and make the comparison. Whatever you attempted to do in a positive manner was done because you believed in them – and it was snatched up by the Narcissist and then they beat you down and made what you did wrong. You only tried harder because there was no sense in their actions but somehow you believed that you did something wrong that needed fixed. Little by little they were murdering your heart, soul, and mind. This became a deceptive and debilitating dance with them, part of their plan to manage you down more and more to keep taking what they could and harm you more in the process. These are not just jerks, or users, these are destructive individuals that enjoy the chaos and harm they deliver as they extort your life away from you. That Narcissist (just like a thief) has pillaged and taken everything (emotionally and physically) they could, or all you had to give and then basically abandoned you for other supply! They conned you into believing they cared or LOVED you to get you under their spell to do all of this!
Narcissists manipulate in a manner to control their target by always reacting in a very demeaning, debasing, dehumanizing and perverted manner to everything – this is chaos and crazy making meant to confound their target’s normal thoughts. This can be very evident at times, because it is a downright shocking situation and we have all been there shaking our heads in disbelief at what they have said or acted on. It can also be very subtle with many small manipulative and dehumanizing actions that disassemble the target/victim’s well-being slowly, consistently, and methodically. It is so perplexing that we actually disbelieve our very own ears and more than often we dismiss it and justify it by thinking it is anger, a bad day, insecurity, jealousy, or they have some wrong information about us — BUT, this constant and consistent behavior is intentional and meant to debase us. Unfortunately, we spend our time trying to fix the situation and avoiding the real truth that this is just one of their tools in their vast arsenal of control and ultimately ABUSE. Little by little this behavior erodes the target/victim’s self-worth and creates an almost obsessive situation where the target/victim is constantly trying to avoid the conflict, keeping things peaceful, and walking on eggshells. There is never the opportunity for a “healthy self” in this relationship and you become a casualty of the constant psychological terrorism or abuse – essentially you become a shell of a person.
What does a narcissist do when we demand our individuality? They cut us down into the smallest pieces they can to CONTROL US. They have numerous tools in their arsenal, but one of the most efficient of all is replacing us with another person. What is the message the Narcissist is sending? It is no big deal to find another person to fill your shoes – but in reality they MUST constantly stay in motion because anybody that has any type of personal relationship with them eventually sees behind their façade. The Narcissist NEEDS supply like an addict needs their next fix of their drug of choice. So, what goes along with this is that Narcissists definitely operate out of their fear of being exposed ESPECIALLY the truth about their perverse and disordered lifestyle. Unfortunately they NEED us to extract supply, but they can’t keep up their façade forever because they are out-of-control, so they jump from one relationship to another and abuse another person, their family, their total life.
This truth is crazy to comprehend, but it depicts the true nature of a relationship with a Narcissist and they just go on with life switching out their partners like buying a new pair of shoes and leaving their destruction behind them. This even includes their own biological children or essentially anybody that had any personal interactions with them. No/minimal contact to start on the road to a recovery and a healthy new life. Greg