What it feels like to be ABUSED by a personality disordered Narcissist! Information to share with people that just don’t get it. .

What it feels like to be ABUSED by a personality disordered Narcissist! Information to share with people that just don’t get it. .

From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist

MOST PEOPLE have no knowledge or understanding of psychological abuse, or of a Narcissist as well as the effects of the trauma related to both. It is akin to a traumatized prisoner of war being released FROM captivity and straight into life as usual when that is not even near a possibility or reality for the prisoner OR the target/victim of a Narcissist that needs serious help to return to the normal life they once lived. It seems more like the target/victim stands in judgment from most of the people nearest and dearest to them because they just do NOT understand the distress of this abuse they experienced for so many years.

All of this keeps you running in a circle and you are jumping from one confusing distortion to another and never accomplishing anything but adding more to your own grief. It is exhausting, and it feels like there is no way out. You even feel fearful of life in general and lacking a general consciousness of the reality around you because of the trauma. There doesn’t seem to be any relief and you almost feel like you are completely losing it and headed straight toward a mental breakdown. It is just TOO OVERWHELMING. This is why you have to move on and away from these thoughts and that Narcissist completely. It is survival and getting life back to normal – but you feel so alone and isolated.

Emotionally or psychologically abused people tend to be cast off or even judged harshly. The chronically abused person is shrouded with a cloud of helplessness, hopelessness and passivity from the entrapment of the abuse in their past. There seems to be no viable place for them to secure acceptance or the help that they need. There is anxiety and depression that has surfaced, physical ailments and complaints, subdued anger, extreme frustration, isolation and loneliness from the people closest to them because of the extreme need to express ourselves over and over again so the target/victim is subject to more condemnation as well as adding to the layers of the abuse that are already there. We seem like we are crazy, but it is the trauma and the vulnerability of being abused. You are reaching out for help, but it seems like everyone is turning away.

When we actualize the situation it isn’t just grieving the emotional connection that we felt for this person, but a new reality that they were there and actually extorting our love and trying to disable us to keep us in their dark agenda or as a source of supply. The real truth about them now becomes a huge influence on our thoughts and feelings and it confounds the situation even more as far as clarity. It is clinically called ‘cognitive dissonance’ where we have two conflicting realities. We believed we were in love, but we also know that it wasn’t real love but instead a huge betrayal of our love from an abusive person. Not easy to have to believe the truth because they are so far apart and polar opposites. Nor is it us ignoring the facts that this abuse was staring us in the face. Sure we were aware that there were problems because this Narcissist was acting out in cruel ways that we personally understand from our experiences, but we were trying to be real WHERE THERE WAS NO REAL. We were being manipulated in the cruelest way by someone (a Narcissist) that was monopolizing on their deceptive ability to manipulate and manage down our healthy thoughts. This is subjugation of a human being pure and simple or denying the human rights we all deserve. This is our new reality and we have to explore this so that we can actualize the truth.

Knowledge is power that gives us clarity to start moving forward, as well as a strong support system from other victims and survivors – this is where we start on our road to recovery – well that and no or minimal contact! Greg

Posted on July 18, 2019, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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