The biggest lie and manipulation the Narcissist uses starts the very first day we meet them – their CHARM to con us into their distorted and needy world.
The biggest lie and manipulation that the Narcissist uses is their ‘CHARM’ and ‘love bombing’ to con people to varying degrees (depending on the type of relationship) by pulling them into their entitled world where everybody is objectified to fulfill a particular need and then diminished after that need is fulfilled and then they move onto their next target soon to be a victim.
From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist
Once the Narcissist has caught the attention of their new target, they will move in for the kill. The narcissist will begin by coming on very strong, telling the target that they are special and of course the Narcissist will say they were meant for each other because they are a match made in heaven or SOUL MATES. The Narcissist will constantly flatter their target and be very attentive, calling them many times a day, just to say “they’ (the Narcissist) were thinking of them. The Narcissist will quickly assume a strong role and become an important person in the target’s life and he/she will find that they are swept off their feet by this “wonderful, perfect partner (the Narcissist)”. Once the Narcissist has become totally entwined in the target’s life and vice versa, the role will change for them from target to victim.
They do NOT love, care, bond, or feel emotion and they have NO empathy whatsoever. What does that say? They are cognitive/conscious of their actions because they use these very actions as a tool to con people into their world. They will use this ‘charm’ all throughout the relationship to keep you constantly confused and holding on until they are done with you, gotten what they wanted, or met new supply.
The victim becomes less and less of what they use to be prior to meeting the Narcissist. It becomes a vicious cycle of denigration, debasing, dehumanization and destruction by the Narcissist until there is nothing of substance left of the victim. The dismantling of the victim was skillfully orchestrated by the narcissist, and then as if to add INSULT TO INJURY the Narcissist will unmercifully criticize the victim for “not being the person” the Narcissist fell in love with. All of the “blame and shame” will ceremoniously be dumped on and into the victim to kick them down even further into feeling worthless and the source of all of the problems. The Narcissist will even “project” their betrayal and perverse lifestyle onto the victim and accuse them of what they (the Narcissist) is actually doing.
The Narcissist will not yield to anything once they have the reigns of terror going and will even physically make fun of their victim to inflict every possible form of damage they can. This disables the victim completely so they are so vulnerable that they can’t possibly fight back. The Narcissist has been back-stabbing and “smearing” the victim to family, friends, co-workers and any other people that will listen to inflict further damage to the target/victim’s integrity. The Narcissist will then discard the victim quickly and without regard. The cycle of abuse and destruction has been completed. The victim has been devoured by the narcissist and left by the roadside. The Narcissist has smeared the good name and integrity of the target/victim to make THEM seem like unstable, having issues or even the abuser. This describes NARCISSISTIC ABUSE or better yet psychological rape of their victim. This is not simply “emotional abuse”, or a bad relationship between two people, this is akin to a calculated attack of a predator after prey. This is a disordered human being that willfully harms good people. EVEN their own biological children will become victims of their damaging cycle of abuse. Predator after prey! Break the cycle of this abuse with no/minimal contact. Greg