There is absolutely NO reasoning with a Narcissist because there is no reality to them!
FACT: There is absolutely NO reasoning with them because there is no reality with a Narcissist – only their reactions to constantly control, manipulate, and malign their target/victim to serve THEIR agenda through CHARM and HARM – or fear and control.
From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist
Because the Narcissist lacks ANY of the skills required to make human connections OR bond with people, they must COSTANTLY search out and obtain his/her fix/drug or external supply (objectifying people). The very people (you and I) who are supposed to sustain the Narcissists grandiose fantasies through their adoration and attention will always be devalued in the process. This is especially true once we learn the truth and discover that they were merely objects and the Narcissist’s reality is full of betrayal, lies, and manipulation to support their agenda — and the complete devaluation and discard will be right around the corner! They are just too repulsive and dangerous to interact with. This is the truth that becomes apparent when that mask slips and all of the lies and betrayal become too apparent to ignore anymore, but YOU will be the person blamed and punished horribly for trying to friend, care, or love them in a normal manner. Everyone will be cycled through the Narcissists needy agenda as just another source of supply to use, deplete and then discard.
Their life boils down to an accumulation of targets/victims, sexual partners, and whatever property gains they manage to extort. As many spouses know Narcissists will have children with them as well, and sometimes children to other spouses or partners. It is sort of like a collection of human beings for the Narcissist or better yet objects that have no emotional depth or the chance of a worthwhile life with this Narcissist acting like a real parent. Malignant Narcissist are so heartless and callous that they reject their own children, once they devalue and discard the target/victim spouse. BUT they will portray themselves as the BETTER spouse that is a complete care giver to these children, often taking credit for things the abused spouse has done in reality.
So the truth here is that their abuse is absolute and fundamental to the Narcissist’s survival in the real world. The Narcissist can’t change and, most importantly, they DON’T want to change. They inhabit a fantasy world which becomes reality for them and those they manage to brainwash. There is no reality or truth for any person that resides in their world. It is a train wreck waiting to happen and there are always many victims. In their world the truth and falsehood only holds a weak instrumental meaning as they apply it to any situation and there is absolutely no morality contained in any of their thoughts or actions.
We must imprint this message in our minds that at the core of the Narcissist’s psychopathy is a mindset governed by their grandiosity, lack of empathy for others, and a grand sense of entitlement and superiority that places them above laws and morality. The Narcissist grossly overestimates their abilities and accomplishments and underestimates the complete being of their target/victim. Simply put, the Narcissist should be able to do anything they wish, however harmful and destructive, because the Narcissist is better than others. In the Narcissist’s mind, by making us a part of their wonderful life by mere association with them, he/she passes on to us this grandiosity as if they are royalty and that is our reward. It is ridiculous and repulsive that they can believe this nonsense and more akin to pompousness and arrogance.
It is very hard to accept this truth, but you must to achieve your own personal closure with them. Knowledge is power and imperative in starting us out on our road to recovery with CLARITY – put your time and energy into yourself and discard EVERYTHING Narcissist as it concerns your heart, mind, soul, and life. No/Minimal contact to stop the chaos and crazy making that their lies create within our time with them. Greg