Death by a thousand cuts!
Death by a THOUSAND CUTS. A Narcissist will do whatever they can to inflict emotional and psychological wounds on their victims to keep them lost in confusion, isolated, feeling totally worthless and under THEIR control.
From my book: From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist
It is called devaluation – once the Narcissist has manipulated you into their lair of lies and deceit, they manage their victim down into the depths of their pathology. Like a virus entering into their victim’s body they attack and erode our self-esteem away from us, as well as demean, debase and destroy our spirit and extract whatever they want, need and desire.
There is absolutely NO responsibility or accountability on their part for anything they do. Couple that with the fact that they do not live in accordance with any written or unwritten laws (common decency to other humans), and they act on every impulse that they have without an iota of care when they harm the very person that loves them in the process.
This describes just how the Narcissist maligns all people – especially when you do not agree with them. Nobody could EVER find any common ground with them because there is never consistency or stability in any of their thoughts, actions, or words — so they will always create a conflict UNLESS they are charming you because they WANT something.
The narcissist back stabs people continually throughout their disordered life. To them it is control and power over others. They will consistently demonstrate their power with back handed and insulting behavior toward others. They will utilize behaviors like talking people down, or making them the brunt of a rude and demeaning joke, making fun of them, totally ignoring or silencing them, being late for important events, simply not attending or walking out of events, avoiding being a team player at all costs, refusing to consult or ask for help and just acting out ON THEIR OWN SELF ACCLAIMED AUTHORITY. There are absolutely NO RULES that they follow, so there is never accountability either – that gets displaced onto us through blame and shame because the Narcissist is the eternal victim of life.
So again, they do this so they can manage us down to a level lower than the last, until they have us in a place where we feel that we can’t do anything right and are worthless – THIS is how they control their targets – or DEATH BY A THOUSAND CUTS. Beat them to the punch by shutting them down before they can use their manipulative ‘wordplay’ against you. No/minimal contact. Greg