Crazy Making and the Narcissist!
CRAZY MAKING – Narcissists push your buttons like you are an elevator – up and down always keeping you off balance and never knowing what level you are on. Knowledge and education will provide the clarity to move on and away from this abuse!
From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist
A crazy-maker is someone who makes you feel crazy by constantly stirring up trouble and causing a negative outcome from their involvement and presence in any given situation. ‘Normal’ doesn’t serve a Narcissist and their need for power and control, but CHAOS and ‘crazy making’ does! They are always the problem, but nothing is ever their fault.
They cannot sit down and experience a normal or real moment, a memory, or a connection to real happiness within themselves or reflect about their life because there are NONE, only envy of what they can’t achieve. Their inner world is angry, dark and lacks complete empathy. They don’t have any internal mechanisms to love or care about anybody so instead they feed their eternal neediness and pathological nature through extreme manipulation. They create chaos and destruction with their abusive manners to make other’s feel their emptiness as if to pay for their misery and disconnection from real happiness and life. They imitate our reality to draw us into their life and then into their personal misery by abusing what they can’t ever achieve – our goodness and ability to love.
If they can successfully harm our good intentions and mock our empathy it allows them to deny their own destructive nature and world by making us assume their misery and darkness. Misery loves company as they say and a Narcissist needs to prove to themselves that everyone else is the miserable and the destructive creature that they are through delusional deception and destruction. They use us like a filter to diffuse their negativity and assume our goodness, empathy and love as their own. They wear us like a disguise to walk among the good people to constantly find more and more supply to harvest. Without a mask (false) of real empathy and love, their darkness would expose them and people would avoid every aspect of their being!
They create scenarios to discover your weakness or fears and store them away to manipulate you later. They don’t use language as communication, it is for hiding, deflecting, avoiding, masking, & manipulating because their charm is completely false. They take pride in their own righteousness and rightness. They attempt to belittle any version of reality that conflicts with theirs. They NEVER believe they make mistakes even when they proof is right there in front of them. They have an innate inability to feel, process or truly understand shame from the negative and hurtful things they do to others – they can only blame and apply fault to everybody else. Contradict them a few times and you will feel their out of control narcissistic rage.
Their conversations and interactions aren’t meant to enlighten, but to confuse, control, and consistently create drama. They are a huge VOID, working to get whatever they can from you – basically they extort life and lives. They expect you to lend a listening ear and give them complete approval. They use emotional withdraw and silencing to create guilt, compliance and control. They will betray personal information and secrets to feel more powerful. They will manipulate and use flattery or protests of their innocence (crying, pleading, and begging) like a stealth weapon to achieve their agenda and get their way. They will use verbal skills to block or deflect accountability for their perverse and out-of-control lifestyle and sift blame onto YOU. They impact lives negatively but miraculously escape exposure even appearing to have some positive effect and you end up the negative aspect of the relationship with them. No/minimal contact to break the cycle of this abuse. Greg