Communicating with a Narcissist is an open invitation for more abuse because there is no such thing as a healthy interaction with them.
Communication with an abuser is an open invitation for MORE of their abuse! There is NO SUCH THING as a healthy interaction yet alone a real one with a Narcissist! It is all about circular conversations to confound, confuse, divert, manipulate, lie, malign, hurt, harm and abuse!
From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist.
In any type of relationship where communication and thoughts are not nurtured in a process to validate another person, all areas of the relationship are affected. Communication is the open door that allows two people to exchange cognitive (worldly thoughts) and personal thoughts to enable growth and bonding. We are independent beings that have purpose and we exchange our thoughts openly and normally by accepting our relative differences – that is just a basic ‘life right,’ but NEVER with a Narcissist because this is NOT about any rights we have. The Narcissist manipulates in such a way to cause false interpretations of all our cognitive processes to intentionally distort and invalidate reality and make them fail, OR basically invalidating and disabling our independence or individuality and deeming us worthless in the process. Simply put this is a highly manipulative effort/agenda to overtake and control us. I call it ‘erasing our personality’ or part of the process the Narcissist uses to corrupt our healthy normal, utilizing this coercive emotional and psychological terrorism or abuse to get at want they want. With all of those words I just used to describe this – please just understand (and take this with you) that this has absolutely nothing to do with YOU personally and everything about this destructive personality disordered Narcissist and their agenda. Use this truth as your strength to disengage and throw that BLAME and garbage right back where it belongs – ON THEM!
When we are manipulated in this manner it affects those important skills that we use on a daily basis. It is like we lose our motivation to be effective with simple matters in our personal life or even block our ability to concentrate and learn because we were manipulated in a manner to constantly question ourselves and feel the need to constantly explain ourselves to someone we BELIEVED we could trust and more than likely someone we cared for or loved. This is betrayal in the most extreme manner and describes just how sick a Narcissist is to use our love or whatever connection we have with them to create and administer their manipulation, hate, and destruction – AND WHY? Our mind is linked to so many internal processes, and when it is emotionally and psychologically wounded, other areas will also be affected just like a disease that will spread unless treated – even causing physical damage. It can take its toll and cause long term problems linked to trauma. REMEMBER this is NOT a sign that we are weak – it is our trust that all human beings have that the Narcissist has taken advantage of to enter our hearts and minds to corrupt and distort our normal thoughts. Normal people that live in the real world do not manipulate other people in this manner to overtake them with an agenda – abnormal, disordered, and dysfunctional people do.
This is why it is so important that we are educated concerning this abuse so we can desensitize the damage that occurs from this constant barrage of attacks on our faculties that basically disables us and damages us over time. The mix of this desperate and false love, lies, betrayal, manipulation, and fake emotions from a Narcissist is a poisonous mix that is silent but deadly when administered – and that is exactly what it is to us – a poison that destroys every level of our well-being and safety. We CAN fix this together with the knowledge we all have – together we heal. Greg