We weren’t in denial in the beginning we were tricked, conned, manipulated, etc. Nobody would ever accept abuse in their lives unless they were brain-washed and manipulated in a back and forth manner with the mix of extreme CHARM and then HARM to always keep the victim totally off balance.
From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist
The point is we never realized this in its entirety while we were with this Narcissist. WHY? Well because the agenda of the Narcissist was not apparent, and the manipulation was subtle but consistent. We were always drawn back into the abuse through the Narcissist’s magical charm and trickery. Day by day we were managed down more and more through the Narcissist’s vast arsenal of tools to the point that we were not in our original state of conscious thinking – our reality was altered by our perpetrator so they could control and objectify us – we were just a means to an end or clinically ‘supply!’
After experiencing and recovering from this abuse it is still hard for a person of empathy to get it completely. Education and knowledge is very important for clarity and validation. But what I also learned is that I didn’t have to ‘get it’ SO completely, I just had to understand it and accept the truth and then forget about that Narcissist. They are what they are and that has to be enough because it has already overwhelmed and distorted too much of our lives and we can’t give them anymore of our time or life. They will NOT change or admit to anything they did. Knowing and believing this enables you to move forward, focus, and work on everything else that involves getting healthy again. Don’t waste your time on getting into their heads, or trying to understand them, or trying to fix THEM because you are only replaying and denying the truth YOU ALREADY KNOW! It is YOUR time now to claim your life back. Greg