Narcissists do not move on without attacking your integrity to create a ‘safe escape route’ for themselves so that THEY do not appear to be the abuser that they are!

Narcissists do not move on without attacking your integrity to create a ‘safe escape route’ for themselves so that THEY do not appear to be the abuser that they are!

From my book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything else Between with a Narcissist.

As a matter of fact, they will do whatever they can to continue with their chaos to attack YOUR integrity BEHIND your back as well as wound you by rubbing your face in their NEW amazing lifestyle. More chaos, more lies, more manipulation, and more of what they have always done – but now it is so obvious and apparent because they have removed their mask and now you see what is really behind it.

Abusers will leave us in the most emotionally crushing way they can because this is what they do – BUT knowledge is power in moving forward! A Narcissist is not going to make the end of their abuse or the relationship easy. In all probability they will enjoy watching you squirm as long as they can because basically their whole relationship with us was about finding everything and anything to diminish our total being. They will flaunt their new ‘soul mate’ under your nose. The Narcissist will have their NEW target, family, friends, co-workers, or anybody that listens to them convinced that YOU have mental health issues, scorned, or any number of other problems, or you are a demon who has gone over the edge — but you know the REAL truth and that is all that needs to matter to you.

They abuse through their trickery and manipulation and that is what you are seeing AGAIN right under your nose. All you have to do is look back and be reminded of the exact behavior and deception you personally experienced to define that THEY are totally dysfunctional, personality disordered, abusive, and NOTHING will change with them. The Narcissist will say nasty things about you to anyone they can to destroy your integrity and to avoid exposure of the real truth about their abusive/dysfunctional ways. If there are legal ramifications with a divorce, they will fight you tooth and nail over everything. The Narcissist will even try to turn your kids and everybody else against you. They will stalk and harass you and gather any and all information to use against you to cover their tracks of abuse and they will use threats to instill fear in you. They may even throw some love bombs to manipulate you once again into believing in them. In reality, they are ‘biding for more time’ to squirm away unscathed and to keep you confused and controlled through their MANY actions until they get away with all of the blame shifting they have been throwing onto YOU and behind your back. You’ll be having a hard time just coping with the losses of the relationship, let alone the other bombs the Narcissist is dropping on you and your life.

You must direct ALL of your thoughts away from them completely and back into yourself to become healthy again. You must also try as hard as you can to ignore the smears and the naysayers because down the road you will realize that anybody that doesn’t offer you support for something as serious as abuse or has judged you through the lies of your abuser was/is not worth any of your time or consideration. This is about you now and one direction – and that is healing! Believe in the truth that YOU deserve so much better and YOU are an amazing person that WILL move forward! No-contact or minimal-contact if you must have contact because of legal or business issues.
Greg

Posted on February 11, 2019, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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