SO, where do people get the idea that Narcissists aren’t to blame for what they do or they don’t KNOW what they are doing.
SO, where do people get the idea that Narcissists aren’t to blame for what they do or they don’t KNOW what they are doing. Well the proof is in the pudding – or better yet the façade, camouflage, mask or whatever disguise they wear to charm us into their AGENDA. Never love, friendship, care, or any relationship!
From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist.
Did the Narcissist really have a relationship in mind, or was it an agenda from the mind of a highly disordered and not fully functioning human being to extort and harm us? We all know that answer to this now, AND after the fact. It was NEVER a relationship – it was more like a predator after prey. They camouflage themselves and trap us with that amazing CHARM and then take us through the paces of HARM and everything else in between to get at what they want. It is ALL about the mask they wear.
The Narcissist camouflages themselves to trick, deceive, control, and then maneuver their potential target just like a predator trapping their prey. Again, they TRICK and TRAP their prey just like a predator to create an unfair HIDDEN advantage over them and then plug them into their “agenda” of achieving supply to devour what they can from us – they never pick a fair fight – IT IS ALL SMOKE AND MIRRORS. They are cowards and bullies period that use lies and manipulation while hiding in the shadows to avoid being exposed by the light of the truth! REMEMBER THIS – they are able to control themselves in public, but they abuse behind closed doors when nobody but their target is present. That is a huge indicator that a Narcissist is VERY aware of their actions and keeps their manipulative and abusive ‘self’ well hidden. So, the process is cognitive, or the Narcissist is ‘knowing’ and ‘thinking’ about what they are doing based on THEIR needs and the consequences if they are caught to protect themselves from exposure – otherwise they just do NOT care who they harm in the process. They know what they do is considered horrendous and dehumanizing to the people they prey upon so they cleverly create a very positive and fake ‘Narcissistic mask’ in public that makes them out to be the next best thing to a saint, and from behind this mask they blame and shame the rest of the world for their sins BUT act on every immoral need they have. They are rationally thinking about their abusive actions with their double standard ‘public relations’ knowing if they are ever exposed they would be considered abusive and DANGEROUS – or even criminals. SMOKE and MIRRORS a cognitive process that is really cause and effect. The MASK that covers the truth!
SO, where do people get the idea that Narcissists aren’t to blame for what they do? GOOD question but simply put they dupe everyone – and we know this personally! It is just “monkey crazy” to think that Narcissists can’t ‘control’ themselves when we ACTUALLY see them ‘controlling’ themselves perfectly when there are witnesses (other people) present. We do just fine with treating people with respect and NOT intentionally hurting people which includes the Narcissist. So, does being behind closed doors with us make them suddenly delusional, out of control and abusive and SOMEHOW this has something to do with us? Then add to this their lies that cover up their indiscretions. Their problem is a lack of integrity, empathy, morality and conscience. Conscience specifically is what makes people behave the same in the dark as in the light of day or knowing right from wrong. They know exactly what they are doing and exactly what is at stake if they are outed and made accountable. You don’t create lies to cover your tracks (for wrongdoing) UNLESS you don’t want to be caught because you KNOW your actions are wrong!
They want what they want, they will lie and deceive to get it, they do NOT care who they hurt/use in the process no matter who you are, and they constantly repeat the process with many different people. This is why we become so disillusioned and traumatized when the real truth is apparent because beyond the red flags is the real truth of just how HORRIBLY they betrayed us in so many ways that it literally shuts us down facing that truth – and that truth sounds way too incredulous if we do try to explain what happened. A malignant Narcissist traumatizes and destroys people’s lives, their soul, their core beliefs, and even their normalcy and sanity. This is why this is called abuse. Knowledge, education, time and support from other victims/survivors is the only way to start on a journey to recovery. Use your voice and share your story to reach out for validation and help to move forward. Knowledge is our power – so we must seek it out to understand this disaster we endured with our abuser. No/minimal contact ALWAYS! Greg