A Narcissist basically erases a victim’s personality and suffocates their individualism through insidious and demeaning emotional/psychological manipulation and control.
A Narcissist basically erases a victim’s personality and suffocates their individualism through insidious and demeaning emotional/psychological manipulation and control. Then to add insult to injury, they even make us believe it is our fault.
From my Book – From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist! @http://www.amazon.com/Charm-Harm-Everything-N…/…/ref=sr_1_1…
A victim of this abuse becomes less and less of what they used to be prior to meeting and personally connecting with a Narcissist. After the initial ‘CHARM’ or ‘LOVE-BOMBING’ to lure the victim in, it becomes a vicious cycle of denigration, debasing, dehumanization, and destruction by the Narcissist until there is nothing of substance left of the victim. The dismantling of the victim was skillfully orchestrated by the Narcissist, and then as if to add INSULT TO INJURY the Narcissist will unmercifully blame and criticize the victim for “not being the person” the Narcissist fell in love with (they don’t really even know love – they just use it as another tool to manipulate). For children that are victims of this abuse since birth, there is no charm or love-bombing phase – they are denigrated or ABUSED from a very early age.
All of this “blame and shame” will ceremoniously be dumped on the victim to CONFUSE them as well as kick them down even further into the destruction a Narcissist inflicts on everyone – again just ANOTHER tool they use to malign ALL people. The Narcissist will even “project” their betrayal and perverse actions and lifestyle onto the victim and accuse them exactly of what they (the Narcissist) is doing. The Narcissist will not stop at anything once they have the reigns of terror and control going and they will even physically make fun of their victim to inflict every possible form of damage they can – and WHY – because it yields the results they want or complete dependence on them, control, power, and ‘supply!’ This completely disables the victim, makes them very vulnerable, and corrupts their core values so they can’t possibly fight back and expose the Narcissist as the REAL abuser they are.
Along with all of this, the Narcissist has been back-stabbing and ‘smearing’ the victim to family, friends, co-workers and any other people that will listen to further inflict harm by damaging the integrity of the victim which adds another HUGE level to the abuse. The Narcissist will then discard the victim quickly and without regard. The cycle of abuse and destruction has been completed. The victim has been devoured by the Narcissist and basically dumped in the trash heap and the Narcissists moves onto new supply or the next VICTIM. This describes and is NARCISSISTIC ABUSE, domestic violence, or better yet emotional/psychological rape of their victim. This is not simply a bad relationship between two people – this is a calculated attack of a predator after prey. This is a disordered human being that willfully harms good people – EVEN their own biological children will become victims of their damaging cycle of abuse. Predator after prey!
NO CONTACT – unequivocally it is the only way to gain your freedom from this calculating, disordered, manipulating, cunning, lying, extortionist, and abuser that MEANS to inflict damage on their prey as well as take everything they can from their victim! You can and will recover from this abuse – but YOU MUST understand that the Narcissist is as calculated in their attacks on people as is a shark with its prey. Once you establish the facts/truth about your abuser you must put it all into perspective to release from the “blame and shame” as well as the worthlessness you feel that the Narcissist made you internalize or better yet forced down your throat. Find that spirit, it is still there with you as well as your self-esteem, goodness, empathy and LOVE — I promise you that this had NOTHING to do with who or what you are, it has to do with an extremely disordered person that manipulated you into ALL OF THIS because they are an abhorrent and disordered. They DO know what they are doing because they always LIE to protect themselves – just like a predator that camouflages itself so that the prey never knows what hit them. You are and always have been the STRONG, beautiful, and amazing person that knew/knows love and you still are that person – THAT IS WHY YOU ARE STILL HERE TODAY, and you still have tomorrow – and don’t give that up. You WILL be the person you once were but smarter and with new boundaries because you have experienced a real-life monster! Discard that Narcissist out of your heart, your mind, your soul and your LIFE!
Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist