A Narcissist will make you PERFORM and BARGAIN for their attention, affection, acceptance and everything else to keep you dependent on their approval and hanging on.
A Narcissist will make you PERFORM and BARGAIN for their attention, affection, acceptance and everything else to keep you dependent on their approval and hanging on. Narcissists ALWAYS end up maligning every person they connect with. Let’s define what they REALLY are in more practical terms – predators that con people into an agenda to take all they can so THEY can survive!
A Narcissist stalks for prey like a predator does – we must totally connect to this description as the truth about them as defined by their intent to CAPTURE us and then feed off of our energy, emotions, our environment, our physical belongings, or basically our everything. Ask yourself WHAT have they given back to you as in a REAL reciprocal relationship after the initial CHARM they used to pull you into their world? To define this in more practical terms a Narcissist acts out as they do because their REAL intentions are malevolent and absolute – they need us and what we have to survive – but behind that façade is a stone cold, empty, and dark person that will eventually harm/disable us EVEN though we have given it our all! Without the ability to bond with people of course their REAL image will eventually come through that façade because they DO NOT have the ability to keep up the charade without the internal mechanisms like empathy and emotions. Look at where you are at and look at how you are always explaining yourself and BARGAINING for love, respect, dignity, acceptance, the truth, etc.! You have been conditioned to do this, so the Narcissist can keep you hanging on UNTIL they have gotten all they came for. Know and internalize this truth because you HAVE experienced exactly what I have written, and YOU deserve so much more!
Seriously if we would have known this up front it would frighten us or any other source of supply and NONE of us would have entered into this for what we were given in return – disparity and doubt! If the target could easily discern the true nature of this Narcissist that has an insatiable lust for everything and anything along with the intent to drain/destroy, they would run for cover and literally for their life. The Narcissist transforms themselves into the best and most luring ‘bait’ to trap their next victim – and that is all any of this was, or a TRAP to pull us in their needy world. They are very adept at making and wearing masks thriving on fake appearances because they have no positive substance and without it nobody would find them anything but the despicable characters they are – so everything they are doing is conscious. This describes a destructive and dangerous predator that camouflages itself to obtain prey. We must understand that this is what they are so we stop believing in them, giving them the benefit of the doubt, giving them chances, trying to help them, allowing them to embezzle our emotions/trust, and most important allowing them ANY space in our heart, mind and world.
ONE last time for good measure – we are NOT allowed any needs of our own or INDIVIDUALITY – we are there for one reason and that is to serve them. Any semblance of a relationship with them is just a working tool of theirs to keep us in their orbit while they are TAKING what they need from us AND many other people. They refuse (again, conscious choice) to see our humanity and the basic rights that come along with that humanity. We are nothing more than an object for their use. They abide by no law earthly or heavenly. When done, they cast you/us aside. People who believe that the Narcissist loves them are tragically deceived. We are ALL more or less a part of their support team and there are many conned into this horrendous role and agenda. No/minimal contact to start on your journey to healing and a healthy life once again.
Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist.