Narcissists have MANY plans to keep their dirty secrets, lies, and betrayal contained so nobody is ever the wiser and each and every plan is meant to CONTROL the people in their life and world. Let’s understand ‘triangulation’ or divide and conquer.
Triangulation is control! Narcissists WILL infiltrate every person in your world by putting wedges in between people to keep tight reins on YOU and everybody else so no two people can collectively conspire against the Narcissist by revealing the TRUTH about what they are. It is divide, conquer and control which basically makes their targets and minions dependent on the Narcissist for information.
Triangulation is just another tool the Narcissist uses to manipulate that powerful and seductive bond that they already have and need to maintain over their targets (and everybody else in the target/victim’s world). Narcissists use triangulation on a regular basis to shore up their fake image and seem in high-demand with their MANY real and imaginary friends to keep you wondering as well as keeping everybody separated and categorized to serve their particular purposes in the Narcissists world.
They just don’t do this to make you jealous with potential or new supply, they triangulate with your family, friends, acquaintances, strangers, ex partners (if they have anything to do with them,) and yes potential new supply (but they usually do that on the side so we are none the wiser). Whatever the situation they will triangulate to control by dividing, conquering, and isolating to serve their agenda – and this even happens within the Narcissist’s own family structure and with their friends, etc. They are essentially triangulating everybody to stay in charge and control of their immediate world because it is laced with so many lies and indiscretions. So, the best way to keep their ’secrets’ secret is to never allow people to ever collaborate concerning them because the real truth would expose that Narcissist for what they are!
We must actualize that they are VERY SHREWD manipulators and know their game and how to play it to THEIR advantage. You can always count on the fact that this Narcissist is controlling everything around you. They are not out their singing your praises – they are setting you up for that final farewell by slowly but surely dissecting your good character and integrity with every person in your world. They are even manipulating you into believing that you are faulty – so of course they are out there spreading their lies to everybody else. Their final discard includes destroying as much of your integrity as possible. Stop believing in them or allowing them back into your life because they will only gather more information to use against you as well as pulling you back into more chaos. No/minimum contact to break the cycle of this abuse.
Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist.