They are the great pretenders and manipulators in life. They only PRETEND to love, they only PRETEND to care, they only PRETEND to have emotions and empathy, BUT they only ‘play’ PRETEND so that they can fit into our world. BUT beyond pretending is a self-centered egotistical and highly disordered, and dangerous abuser that needs control over people to survive.
Their life is one big and constant out-of-control and devastating hurricane spinning around and causing devastation and destruction to anything in its path because they are on a mission with an extremely self-serving agenda that needs you and I as part of that agenda. They actually look at us as an opportunity because we have something that they don’t have – they are extreme opportunists and takers. They feel as if they are just that smart to get what they want and grin at our loss and their gain. They are neither smarter nor superior than us, instead they are extortionists, pathological liars and psychological terrorists that use control over people because they can’t bond or feel real internalized emotions. They are personality disordered and not living in the same normal world that we live in. Unfortunately, they know how to disguise their dysfunction which is a TOOL or part of their working mechanics to make their agenda work. This is just their keen ability or ADAPTING to hide their reality and live within their own extreme denial. They couldn’t face or live in our reality being who and what they REALLY are because they would lose their place among other human beings and the ability to use us as that NEEDED supply. THREATEN their world of lies and you will be annihilated so they can protect that flimsy world they reside in – without it there is no Narcissist. THAT is the most important aspect in this – NOT giving them their precious supply and taking their power away.
There are theories upon theories as they concern a Narcissist and what they are, what they feel, why they do what they do, can they be fixed, and all the other WHY’S! They DO NOT change or want to change. What about what you feel now from having gone through a dehumanizing experience, and a destructive or devastating relationship with one, or you are a child to a Narcissist? What about ‘YOU’ instead of the Narcissist. This is where you MUST direct your energies or back into you and into your recovery and re-connecting with life. They will never change – they will PRETEND to change to keep you engaged as long as you have something to offer – but there is no REAL in that REAL-ity!
You have put too much of ‘you’ into this fictitious and destructive character already and it got you to a horrific place in your life. You MUST internalize the truth about them to finalize the abuse and move forward or you will stay stuck in the cycle of remaining a target/victim to more abuse WITH or WITHOUT them in your life. What would you NEED to finally make the connection that Narcissists do not have ANY emotional depth or reality and the image they presented to you was a HUGE vicious betrayal and con-job? They have emotions because everyone else in the world that they live in has emotions, so they have to pretend to have emotions and everything else that makes a human being normal, so they can fit into OUR existence and get into our lives and heads. YES, you probably miss them, but seriously ask yourself WHAT IS IT THAT YOU MISS? Look at where you are because of your connection and answer that question honestly. You miss what you thought was real, but you don’t miss being abused and damaged and that is all you will ever get from your relationship with them! NO/minimal contact and take their power away from them forever.
Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist