You Want to Hear Something Crazy?
Listen to a narcissist react to a narcissistic injury. What’s the injury? Any path or description that is contrary to the narcissist’s desires or image. You will be able to swiftly see a narcissist’s agenda in how they REACT STRONGLY to your self-expression.
Speak up for yourself; act as if you have THE RIGHT to think and act for yourself, and you’ll incur the wrath of the narcissist.
We may have been conditioned, but can discover, via their reactions, what a narcissist wants from us. We must stop listening to their hollow words and pay attention to their actions.
Crazy, untruthful communication is a narcissist’s most powerful weapon.
We cut the chord and cease communication with a narcissist usually because we find ourselves exhausted due to endlessly defending who we are or wondering why the narcissist ENJOYS being so challenging, combative and contrary. They just don’t know the path of PEACE. Let us tell you, that life with a narcissist can be described by the phrase:
“No Sanity, No Peace”
Confronting a narcissist with an ego blow like ending the ‘relationship’, sends them into a tail spin; they are COMPELLED to rebuild their ego deflation. They must come back and “let us have it”; tell us how dare we reject the narcissist before they discard us! Who do we think we are?!? They will let us know (even though we didn’t ask) in no uncertain terms, EVERY DETAIL of how this is not only our fault, how we are unlovable, that it was THEY who were thinking of dropping us first – and (the coup degras) that everyone agrees with them – that we are outright crazy and should be thankful the narc ever considered us!
Speaking of crazy…Narcissists do not express their opinions or feelings in a mild, kind manner. They verbally ABUSE: insidiously, overtly, cruel, and always twisting history, responsibility, and your intent to sinister. They aim to cut DEEP. They have ZERO empathy for understanding how their words (verbal abuse) impacts your feelings. In fact, not only do you deserve it, the more you suffer, the BETTER they feel. Trying to understand this backward reality, when your intentions were focused on being as nice as possible while delivering bad news, really makes you feel a little crazy. But it’s not the kind of crazy that’s intrinsic to our mental health, it’s crazy from the outside from a narcissist trying to force their reality down our throats. We need to protect ourselves with good boundaries and not take a narcissist’s verbal and emotional abuse personally. Truly.
Narcissists hold the belief that they have the right to unilaterally decide that they do not want to continue a relationship with you, however, they’ll NEVER directly tell you that. And there is no reciprocity; you are not entitled to that same choice. Those would be healthy relationship skills; ones, narcissists don’t possess. We can’t expect healthy behaviors from unhealthy people.
Let the narcissist have the last word. Let them believe they’re own delusional tale of how they were the nice guy, “your victim” and how much better off they are now that they “discarded” you. Why all the clever word-smithing? Because that’s how they manipulate us into sticking around. They know that asking openly for such atrocious relational desires, would result in flat out rejection. They can’t tell the truth. How would it look? “Im going to use you for everything I can get from you, I’m going to flatter you into submission but I wont be giving anything of substance in return. I’m going to twist your reality, so that you always feel that you don’t do enough for me, and ignore the fact that I constantly tear you down. On occasion I will love bomb you again so that you don’t leave me suddenly before I will leave you”.
Would you knowingly say yes to this kind of ‘honest’ request? Would anyone? Even narcissist’s realize, it is a CRAZY proposal, yet they are delusional, entitled, manipulative and controlling enough, to force that relationship into existence with the people (objects) that they believe should orbit them.
Don’t let a narcissist twist the craziness back on you. The confusion you feel may be YOURS, but it was caused from CRAZY SPEAKING of a person who is steeped in their own delusions and drowning in dark forces. We cannot expect healthy communication from those with Personality Disorders, like NPD. We can’t stick around trying to prove to the narcissist (and ourselves) that we are worthy of being understood, appreciated or missed by a narcissist. We must never forget who we really are to a narcissist: mere objects, mistaking this results in our harm.
Stay Safe and aware, put the responsibility for unhealthy, crazy communication and behavior where it belongs: on the narcissist.
Enjoy the Silence!