They are magicians that use ‘smoke and mirrors’ to get you to BELIEVE in their magic – but in the end, you realize it was ALL hocus-pocus!
From my Book – From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist! @ https://www.amazon.com
Narcissists are very cunning creatures and it is virtually impossible for a ‘normal’ person to wrap their head around this because Narcissists can and do act as if they are perfectly normal, and SANE! Then the question arises as to how they can keep up the many charades with different people as well as how they are able to lie so easily, hurt people, and not have any remorse?
So how do they do this? They compartmentalize situations, people, and events completely and keep them separate. Narcissist are very private about their world because it is filled with so many secrets and lies! Secrets and lies that consist of information that is potentially negative and destructive to their lives AND with us if the truth is revealed and the Narcissist is exposed as the monster they are! Basically, this is what a liar would have to do OR be exposed for what they are – Narcissists are very adept at doing this because it is their complete façade and lifestyle – or everything they do is based on deception. They don’t just deceive the world part-time – this is their full-time lifestyle and basically a career for them!
If their twisted lifestyle or the secrets/lies are revealed either accidentally or purposefully it will cause great chaos or perceived harm to the Narcissist and those faithful minions that support them and it would essentially destroy their world. The Narcissist doesn’t care about what YOU or I feel, they only fear the exposure of just how distorted, perverted, and abusive their world is and that they are in this for gain not relationships or bonding. Narcissists will use drama, rage, threats, fear, and deflection tactics by ALWAYS blaming everyone else for their deceptive behavior as well as creating great confusion with stories that just don’t make sense. The Narcissist I dealt with could put a spin on a story to cover up a lie without hesitating – it just came naturally like breathing air.
Narcissists are also very adept at minimizing their own blame or culpability and are skilled at transference, or the art of transferring blame to anyone close by or connected to the situation. The Narcissist will appear to apologize or use their distorted manipulation and tell you exactly what you want to hear to lead you to believe that the secret you found out is an isolated occurrence and it just happened through circumstances ‘out of their control’ or they were set up. It is all BS and there are so many other occurrences that you just don’t know about yet, but if you do find out about them it will be the same old excuses that the Narcissist was wronged, someone else is lying, etc. They have many lives going on and many lies as well. You will ‘get this’ one day as I unfortunately did and it is a horrendous revelation when the truth is right there in front of you and your jaw is dropping to the ground in disbelief!
Narcissists have a lot of internal shame driving them because of their inability to live outside of their out of control fantasy world. They are like magicians that create their false magic with smoke and mirrors, but the Narcissist uses their words and lies so quickly and effectively in an effort to confound or confuse our ability to see or hear the very lies that are right in front of us. They are not fully functioning human beings and they completely lack empathy and do not know love, but they need us to satisfy their needs like we need air to breath. This is why they con the world into believing they are WHAT THEY AREN’T!
Furthermore, Narcissists will keep many, many secrets from EVERYONE close to them and spin such intricate webs of lies that are tailor made for each person in their life AND that is why you feel so special and like YOU are the only one BUT they are telling stories to many people and none of us are special. They will also play one side against the other by triangulating to divide and conquer to keep that truth separate by keeping people and relationships separate. It is purely a diversion tactic that they create between people. Narcissists will also play the victim card BIG TIME as if THEY were the one that was taken advantage of without knowledge and fell into a situation and couldn’t help what they did because they are the honorable one that took the fall for someone else! They are also very adept at spinning lies around a little bit of truth especially as it concerns PAST relationships or their many PRESENT lies and betrayal. My Narcissist had to work overtime to cover up the disastrous turmoil that this Narcissist caused to an ex-spouse and family! I even had the ex-spouse COME TO MY HOUSE while the Narcissist was there with me.
So in reality Narcissists have compartmentalized their many relationships with this deluded superficiality but it is all lies, deception and there is no real intimacy attached to us or anybody in these relationships with them. If everyone that knew the Narcissist got together in the same room and openly talked, the Narcissist would be completely exposed or BUSTED. This is why the Narcissist uses compartmentalization to divide and conquer. NOBODY becomes the wiser to all of the deceit and lies that exist in their world with the Narcissist. The Narcissist effectively keeps the past from catching up with the present and this creature is ALWAYS on top of their game being ten steps ahead of everybody else to hide their distorted lies and lives. Free yourself from the Narcissist and those wedges completely disappear and the distorted truth comes out loud and clear! What is the coefficient here? The Narcissist that creates these wedges between you and everybody else!
The Narcissist is so deeply invested in his/her image and will do whatever it takes to protect themselves from exposure. Their actions are so extreme to maintain their false illusions they have created and it becomes a matter of self-preservation and the Narcissist will think nothing of destroying your self-esteem, self-worth, reputation and integrity to protect themselves. Their lies catch up with them eventually and we end up in the trash heap with every other target/victim that dared demand accountability. This IS THE FATE of every relationship with a Narcissist. They are very calculating and exacting at retaining their ability to survive as the predator they are so they can continue to find prey. It is a matter of survival, otherwise if their true distorted personality were apparent they would be like a fish out of water (a shark.)
Of course, it goes without saying that all of their distorted efforts or the many secrets, lies and deceptions that support their lifestyle make it impossible for a person to sustain any sort of an emotional bond with them or even a simple relationship. This is due to the fact that the many lies pile up to a point that they take on a life of their own that eventually becomes so apparent to the target/victim. In other words, the Narcissist is never that adept to cover up their reality because it is just too distorted for them to maintain any semblance of a relationship with anybody. They are SO out of control and careless that they can’t keep up with their own lies with any one person. They can fake it for as long as we BELIEVE them, but in time the truth lights the way and their honorable mask falls off and shatters from the many lies that weight it down! But again, they will use horrid manipulation to make you fear their retribution and keep you strung along in their abuse until they are DONE with you. Unfortunately, they will also try to destroy your integrity in an attempt to put all of the blame on YOU so they can escape and find their next viable source of supply with a new story, new lies, and a plethora of charm to create the Narcissistic magic one more time. No/minimal contact! Greg