Now the World Knows What It’s Like to Live in the World of a Narcissist

 

donald

The basis for this article is NOT to affiliate with or eschew a particular party or person as it concerns political ideology.  Studies have shown that narcissists in general prefer to hold positions of power, so party affiliation has little to do with what side of the fence the disorder presents itself on.

 

This election caught my attention because of the behaviors that I witnessed from one candidate much more than the others.  As many survivors of narcissistic abuse know, we have a visceral reaction to behavior that is similar to what we experienced while in relationship with a narcissistic person.  We develop a “6th sense” about spotting toxic narcissism.

 

The parallels I was able to draw from the cookie cutter rigidity of this disorder have given me an objective basis on which I’ve formed my opinion.

 

If we consider the race for presidency the “honeymoon” period, it was a mirror of the many days the narcissist invested themselves in charming us as a means to an end.  Once they know they have our “vote” they could relegate us to their back pocket until they need something from us again; if for nothing more than additional adoration. A narcissist in the honeymoon phase is so charming and chameleon-like.  They want to mirror your hopes and dreams identically because ingratiation is the best way to “win” your “vote” of approval.

 

Occasionally, during the honeymoon period, “the mask would slip”. That carefully coiffed facade would fall for a moment and I’d get a peek at the little man behind the curtain: The vicious, bullying, seething, and fighting monster that protected the insecure, fragile little boy that simply wanted everyone to like him. I saw firsthand, the racism, sexism, hatred and sheer sociopathic delight that lived deep within him.

 

Once the honeymoon is over and narcissists know that they “have” us and we aren’t going anywhere, they can let their true motives, choices and actions be known which looks nothing like what we were promised  in the honeymoon phase. The narcissistic person relaxes and lets their guard down;  they stop trying to hide their dark side as they did when they were manipulating us into relationship with them. (trying to win our vote)

 

Our new president and his pattern of behavior can give us as some insight.  We can use what we see to test our ability to name the aspects of toxic narcissism.  We can confirm what we’ve learned for having lived through it. Sharing our observations can give us voice and can help us enlighten others about the effects of toxic narcissism on others.

 

Behaviors that we know have been used by an abusive Narcissist:

  • Surround themselves with flying monkeys

  • Triangulation

  • Word Salad

  • Defame detractors

  • Pathological lying

  • Pepper others with flattery and flowery promises

  • Threaten and disparage those who speak negatively about them

  • Surround themselves with crisis and chaos

  • Create conflicts by having a bullying , “my way or the highway” approach

  • Focus on popularity (ratings, crowd size, hand size, company size)

  • Secure a trophy wife treated as object (left to exit car on her own)

  • Trophy Children
  • Objectify women

  • Lack empathy

  • Overly concerned with what people think of them

  • Short sighted

  • Self absorbed – steers conversation to themselves, hogs the show

  • Don’t respect different perspectives

  • Are initially perceived as likable but shifts to being highly loathed

  • Finds a way to get under your skin

  • Chameleon like – will say whatever works in that moment will change on a dime

  • Attention seeker

  • Master of keeping the spotlight on themselves

  • Crave constant validation from the world

Posted on February 2, 2017, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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